Should I trust him?

A little back story - my boyfriend (24) and i (24) have been dating for almost a year and a half. We had a great start, a rocky middle, and were doing wonderfully until a few days ago. I came across an old phone he was using around the mid point in our relationship. I was curious and I snooped (which I know is wrong). I found texts from a girl who lives in a city about 6 hours away that were inappropriate.

His phone automatically deletes old texts so I didn't get the whole conversation. But it was January this year and they were having a regular conversation that turned very flirty. (ex: come lay in bed with me, when she said she was going on a run he replied "run your sexy ass over here"). Then he asked her to send him a picture with panties on. She did, it wasn't a very graphic picture, everything was covered. The conversation turned into talking about investing money and then he stopped responding to her texts in general. She texted him a handful of times since and he hasnt responded. I looked in his gallery and found another picture (of her stomach and the top of her underwear, everything covered for the most part) from a week before the first picture. So clearly this happened twice.

I also found a text from a girl who is now seriously dating one of our friends. One night in february, we had our first fight at the bar and I left. She sent him a text at 3 AM thanking him for walking her halfway home. He responded saying he wished her route had been different. She seemed confused and asked what he meant, he said a route including him. The texts pretty much stopped there and I feel confident knowing he didnt actually make a move on her considering she was confused what he was talking about.

I called him out on this and he admitted everything. He said he never physically cheated on me and these were the only incidents. He was extremely sorry and said he stopped all of that and hasnt done anything since. His explanation was basically he didnt want to make an excuse, he knew it was wrong and inexcusable. Basically he just explained his state of mind at the time and his emotions.

He said he was basically freaked out that this was his first serious relationship. We had been doing so well at the beginning and he thought of me as someone he could marry. When things started to not go well, he got confused. He still knew he loved me but was afraid to settle down when we werent actually doing well. He felt awful after the texting with the first girl and he stopped speaking to her. The second girl he said he was so drunk he doesnt even remember sending that text (which isn't an excuse, just he couldnt tell me his state of mind or why).

He basically told me that he knew after he saw the texts with the second girl that he needed to step up and make the decision that I was the one and he was committed. I have seen such a change in his overall behavior since that time period and our relationship has been going so well since. I've glanced through his new phone before and never seen anything questionable. He's told me since then I can look at his phone whenever I want. I dont want this for our relationship at all, I want to trust him enough not to look through his things.

Sorry this is so long. I am having a really hard time getting over this (granted its only been a few days). I just need some advice - anyone think I'm dumb to try and trust him?

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How often should we talk after the first date , till the second date ?

Do whatever feels right for you. There's no right or wrong answer, it depends on the people. After a first date with one of my past boyfriends we didn't talk at all until our second date, except to clarify that we'd be meeting each other. And that suited us and worked. With my current boyfriend between our first and second dates, which had about a week in between, we stayed up until 4am messaging each other almost every night. And that suited us and worked.

So it just depends on how you feel.

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Should I pursue this or move on?

So last week I went out with a guy I really clicked with. It was so good, during our first date he was coming up with ideas for our second one. I'm going to be studying in the south, and I had to go back up to Paris the day after, and then when to Italy for a few days, so it was impossible to see him again. He was such a catch! My age, studying nursing, very smart and very cultivated. Very mature too and handsome.

The day before I returned to France I messaged him telling him I was coming back,and would love to see him again, if he wanted to see me. It was kind of romantically suggestive and He didn't take long to respond to me. He told me how pleased he was to see my message, but the day I got back he was going to Spain. I told him I may come a little earlier, to start moving into my apartment and he told me if I do, to let him know and we can work something out.

I texted him when I arrived back in Paris, telling him I'll be coming down two days earlier, but he didn't respond. I decided to call again, before I got on the train to ask again, and he seemed happy that I called, he was apologetic for not responding, he said he was going to call me later that day but he is helping a friend move, so it really depended on the time I arrived.. That's understandable I think. I arrived quite a bit later than expected, and he wasn't able to make it for dinner plans, so it was kind of a waste in a way.

I feel like maybe he is avoiding me and the only thing I can think of is me coming on too strong. I know he's really busy, and in another country at the moment, but his responses to me became shorter and shorter and less emotive. He didn't seem to be overly emotive in person, and I don't know him well enough to say anything, but I really felt like there could be something with this guy, and I have this fear in my mind that I ruined it.. But maybe I'm over thinking it too.

I told a friend about it and he advised me to see other people for the time being, till he's back, and every night since then I've been out with someone new. A few sexual encounters, but nothing felt good like with this guy.

I haven't spoken to him in days so he can enjoy his holiday, and i don't seem needy or that I'm clingy, but do you guys reckon I should call or text when he's back?
I told him on the phone the reason I'm persistent is that when he gets back, I'm going to the French Riviera, so I won't see him for at least another with when he's back, so he understands that..

But yeah what do you think? Should I make one more attempt to make plans, or just let it go and move on?
Thanks for the advise.

P.S we even took a selfie together, and when he messaged me asking for it, he told me he loved it.. Though we both looked horrible in it

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Should I give up on him and move on??

So i met this absolutely amazing guy about two months ago. He is pretty much the whole package, and is everything I could ever want in a guy. We have only went out twice, because he lives about an hour away from me, and I don't drive at the moment. I guess we are kind of doing the whole long distance thing. We text and call each other every day, which has completely made me really like him. He basically tells me everyday how much he likes me. He kissed me a few days ago, and it was probably the best night of my life. So yesterday things took a turn for the worst, he admitted to me that right before we started talking him and his girlfriend had ended things. He said that he just doesn't want to get too serious too fast, which I completely am on the same page with. We decided to take things a step back, and try and just get to know each other better. He said he doesn't want me to give up on him. But now when we text, he seems really off. Am I just reading into things too much??

I do not think he is off I think that is his way of taking things slow, he spoke about it and now you seeing the changes, meaning it is part of what he was saying by taking it slow

he told you not to give up, so don't give up yet! you can still be curious about him as a person and get to know his experiences, interests, etc

Two things- yes, you are reading too much into things. When you say "things took a turn for the worse" I was expecting you to say that like, he had cheated or something. All he did was be honest about the fact he wants to take things slow as he is fresh from a break up. That's healthy. You're overreacting.
Second- he is pretty much going to control the pace of the relationship anyways as he is the only one that drives and you are long-ish distance. So it is going to be his own choice when to see you. Keep going and getting to know him and have your own life outside of him too. That way he knows you have your own thing goin on and can be more accepting of a slower getting-to-know-you pace

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The One Reason You Should Let Him Pursue You

Attract someone who will date you with real leadership. There's nothing more powerful for a man than having to work for something he values.

As a relationship coach, I've heard lots of single men say some version of the following: "I like her, she's cute and all, but I don't know...I'm just not feeling that strongly about her. But she keeps calling me and, well, it's nice to have someone to go out with."

But what I heard when they met "the one" was vastly different! "Wow, she is amazing. It took me three tries to get her to go out with me, but once we did, things took off. We've been dating for a few months—yeah I see her four nights a week or more—and I'm going to propose soon."

More from YourTango: 3 Reasons Men Need To Take The Lead In Relationships

Then there are the stories I hear from my happily married executive coaching clients, which almost all sound something like this: "We met [in high school, in college, shortly after college] and I started asking her out. She put up some kind of initial obstacle I had to overcome [some other guy in the picture, taking a job that was geographically distant, not ready for a serious relationship, etc.], but that just made me want her more. We've been married for [anywhere from 10 to 30years] and she's my best friend, my partner, my lover, and the person without whom I wouldn't be who I am today."

A guy falls in love with the woman he: a) sees as attractive and desirable, and b) has to pursue. Something about the pursuit part of it causes his heart to engage in a way that it doesn't when she's after him. In fact, it seems that a guy's heart will shut down if he is pursued by her and denied the role of pursuer.

That is the one reason to let him pursue: There's nothing more powerful for a man than having to work for something he values. Why not find out if he values you enough to work hard to win your love? Maybe it's time to set your standards higher, so that you can attract someone who will date you with real leadership.

Guys, If you are not putting real effort into dating, maybe you should aim higher. Aim for someone who has choices, who has her act together, and who won't go out with you if you text for dates. Pursuing someone like that may turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you!

About the author: Nina Atwood, M.Ed., LPC, is a nationally known psychotherapist, author of five self-help books, and frequent expert media guest. Read Nina's transformational books; for women: Temptations of the Single Girl: The Ten Dating Traps You Must Avoid, and for men: Date Like a CEO: Leadership in Life and Love for Men. To successfully date online, get Nina’s $0.99 cent eBook Internet Dating for the Savvy Single. Get Nina's free eBook as well as loads of free advice and Love Strategies at www.singlescoach.com.

More from YourTango: Breaking Up: Lies, Excuses, and Truths

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Where should I go from here?

First off I apologize for the length. I am just really confused.
I started talking to this girl last August because we sat next to each other in a class(we are seniors). We got closer and closer and by November I realized I really liked her. In the beginning of December, I came out and told her how I felt. She responded by telling me how she did like me too but was not looking for a serious relationship at the time because she had been hurt by other guys and was playing it safe and felt we should get to know each other better so she could be sure. She ended the conversation by telling me "I hope you understand I am not crossing out the future between us".

Well I spent the remainder of December really trying to win her over and it honestly seemed like it was working. We were talking all day everyday, she began being a lot more open with me, and we were really starting to get to know each other better. She had even told what these past guys had done to her. Her first official boyfriend spiked her drink and sexually assaulted her after prom sophomore year( he was a senior) and was physically abusive to her the whole time they were together and the last guy she was with was psychologically abusive and cheated on her twice while she was in the hospital for a month and told her after she found out "I do not have to worry about you cheating on me because you are all screwed up and nobody would ever want you anyway." and just always made her feel worthless. I understood she has been through a lot but I always reassured her that I was different and that I genuinely cared for her and always told her I would always be there for her. I never made any physical moves on her though because I still was not sure exactly how she felt and exactly where I stood in her life.

But she randomly started to become distant with me at the beginning of January, winter break, (stopped responding to texts and began backing out or not following through on plans we made) and our relationship just kinda died out within those two weeks. We went back to school on January 13th and sit next to each other in two classes. Our relationship has rekindled into a close friendship and nothing more. We hang out outside of school sometimes with a group of friends and we text more often but nowhere near what it was like. Often times too, I find myself being used by her and find myself always trying to make her happy whenever possible.

My problem is that I still really like her and she has been on my mind everyday since the day I told her how I felt. Unfortunately for me she has since seriously talked to one other guy (at the time when she started to become distant with me) but that ended because she has a sickness, the one she was in the hospital for, he felt he could not handle(which has never been and never will be a problem for me and she knows that) and ended things with her(I know this because she told me) and it kinda seems like she has a thing now with a friend of mine but she denies it to everybody. (Keep in mind this is after she told me she was not looking for a relationship). We even had one interesting conversation two weeks ago when she texted me at 1 in the morning asking me why I used to like her. SO at that instant I realized she thought my feelings for her left. I responded to her by first reassuring her that I still liked her and then gave her basically an essay on why I like her. It seemed a little weird why she would ask so I also called her out on why she was asking me. When she responded, she totally avoided the part about me still liking her and that the reason she asked was because she had finally come to the realization that her last boyfriend(the mentally abusive one) was not good for her and the he could never tell her why he liked her and after the last guy she was talking to ended things because of her sickness, she asked me and a few of her friends why we like her so she could reassure herself that it was "personality that mattered most".

With us just being good friends after the "past" we have, does it seem like I am just forever going to be a good friend or could it ever turn into something more? I Know I am not just another one of her casual friends because I met her parents last week when I went to her house to help them move houses and her parents knew everything about me before we had even met so obviously she talks about me with her parents(who, especially her mom, LOVE me by the way).

We went from friends, to close friends, to more than close friends but not together in a relationship, to two weeks of no contact, to close friends again. Ultimately, I just want to be with her but I do not want to waste any more time if it will never happen.

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he likes me and i like him, but he doesnt know that i do. should i tell him?

I met this guy in school. He's a friend of a friend actually, and our friendship grew from that. Ever since that we met, he'd make it a point for us to see each other from time to time. Ever since we began seeing each other after our first meeting i began liking him little by little, but i never told anyone. I just kept to myself. I found out on Valentines day that he liked me, but i was beginning to get hints because my friends would make it a point to mention him every few times during our conversations. And whenever he sees me, he'd touch my shoulder or back while talking to me.

My friends tease me occasionally about it. Every time i go up to him to talk or whenever we see each other and his friends are there, they'd smirk and all that makes me uncomfortable sometimes. He'd sit beside me when we talk and i really do feel comfortable around him. Sometimes more comfortable than when im with my other friends. Things never became awkward, even when i found out he likes me. I dont know, we just acted like i never found out and he never did anything. Thats the thing i like about him, the telling me he likes me part. I dont know how much courage it took for him to tell me, because i too dont know when i will have the courage to tell him how i feel.

The only doubt i have if i should tell him or not is because we haven't been seeing each other for the past few days, and we havent talked too. I admit im clueless about love. I dont know if he still likes me. Im scared to go up to him, telling him how i feel and then finding out that he doesnt like me anymore. Thats another problem about me. Im scared of rejection. I just need good advice really, because im messed up all over.

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Is She Interested? Should I Still Pursue Her?

I met a girl a few weeks ago at a gallery opening. So that you get a proper picture of the situation, I should mention there is a considerable age difference. I'm older. We seemed to hit it off and added each other on Facebook. A few days later I sent her some info on an artistic project of mine. She responded and thanked me. A couple of days later I sent her a message saying that I enjoyed talking to her, and would like to have lunch. About a day later she said that would be great.

On valentine's day I wished her a Happy Valentine's day. She thanked me and said happy valentine's as well.

A couple of days later, I asked her if she wanted to go to lunch that week.

A day later she responded that at her job they don't really take lunch. Everyone works through it. She said she would be happy to meet during the weekend or for a cup of coffee before work.

I decided to just ask her for dinner on a Saturday. But since her last message was on Friday, I thought one day's notice would not be sufficient, so I decided to wait until Sunday, two days after her last message, to ask her for dinner for the following Saturday.

So I left her the message, and 3 days passed and still no response. I was certain I had been ignored and rejected. On the 4th day she finally replied, and apologized because she only just saw my message. She said she had dinner plans for Saturday, and asked if we could do it another day. She said she could meet after work.

Does it sound like I have a shot?

I think so.. Now its depends on you.. when will you go to meet her that time you notice her response towards you so you can yourself imagine that she will interested in you or not.. Because she is cooperating you, but because of her job and time also doesn't match that's why you sit can mot meet her so I thing there will be a chance for you so just go ahead... Good Luck Buddy....

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Is this guy into me and will he make a move or should I?

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Ive been going to the same gym as a guy I fancy for a few months. He always stares (not subtly lol) when I work out as it’s an open plan gym so he does weights whilst I work out on the cross trainer. He also checks to see if I'm looking at him as I see him looking at me several times in one workout both directly and in the mirrors and he follows me to the water fountain in the break a lot. This has been going on for over 3 months now and he did once ask me about a machine but I got shy and just let him use it. Recently I asked him for help with a machine and he helped me quickly and went back to his area but kept giving me sad puppy dog looks the rest of the evening as I don't think he realized I only asked him to strike up a conversation. The next time I saw him he kept going near me and almost bumping into me as if he wanted me to say something as he was smiling. Should I try and initiate conversation as I’m quite stubborn and think he should make the approach if he is properly interested. I was also waiting for a friend once to pick me up and he came down the road, got surprised when he saw me and turned and then immediately turned his head again to look and changed direction to drive past me as he was going the opposite direction before he saw me. I wasn’t sure whether to smile so I didn’t look when he drove past so I think he might have got annoyed as
he sped after he passed me. *I assumed from his behavior that he was single and maybe shy but I’ve also seen him alone with a girl twice over these four months and I couldn’t tell if they were a couple as they weren’t holding hands/touchy feely at all but he put his arm casually on the back of her shoulder. The first time I saw him with her, I was a surprised so I looked a lot at first and he turned his head and was staring at me for ages with a smile.I then got embarrassed he caught me looking so went to another part of the store and immediately after he came to where I was and walked past but she was behind him.. Would you think that appears to be his girlfriend or just a friend that happens to be a girl? Both times I saw them together he has gone out of his way to walk into me and follow me to make sure that I see them so I wasn’t sure if she is just a
friend that hes using to get me jealous or if he is trying to test whether I like him as I tried to pretend it didn’t bother me. For example the last time I saw them together *which happened after he turned in the car, I went the opposite direction away from them as soon as I saw them but he quickly went my direction and walked into me almost immediately. We are both young, he is 21 and so am I. He definitely gives mixed signals as he always seems like he is about to make a move but then he doesn’t follow through. A few times he has also ignored me completely when he has been busy with a training partner. From his behavior does it seem as if he likes me and will eventually make an approach or is this a waste of time? Also what would be a good way to start a conversation as I am not
totally against the idea of approaching him but seeing him with this girl occasionally is putting me off.

I think he's shy.
Try to work out next to him, it will make it easier to start the conversation. You can just say "Hi! I see you here often. My name is....What's your name?". If he is interested in you (I think he is!) he'll be willing to talk to you

What has taking you both so long to strike up a conversation? From the way it sounds, you both like each other. Sounds like you both are a little shy and maybe even scared to give it a chance. Are they a ring on his finger? If not, then say Hello! Tell him you see him there often. Tell him your first name and ask what his name is. Then the conversation should start, if it goes well... ask him if he would like to get a smoothie or drink after his workout. Girl, take a chance and you never know what could happen... good luck!!!

I am a little shy too as he does sometimes come and start working out really near me with his weights lol I will try and say hi, its just when he did ask me about the machine i was using i got shy and didnt really say much so he probably thought i wasnt interested in him . He keeps looking and walking into me as if he wants me to say something first but not sure if too much time has passed now? I probably should have done it earlier when he first spoke as that was quite soon after I first saw him lol

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Boyfriend lost his job, his everything, how should I help?

Name's Jessica, 20, Illinois resident.

I've been dating my boyfriend, Nate, for roughly 6 months. We both graduated same year, but never developed further than pleasant acquaintances. Frankly, guys, I thought he had unwarranted self-autocracy, and preferred he kept himself subdued. But I guess you can't help who you love.

Nate posted on a social network looking for help with his job. After two years of non-communication, I responded desperately seeking a source for extra income. He gave me the low down: he works as a handicap van technician stationed out in Ohio, and he needed an additional person to help deliver a van to a customer. We went on many road trips, some as far out as Massachusetts. Although I'd love to indulge in the very strange details and evolution of our relationship, I'll resist and stick to the facts as I am seeking beneficial, objective advice. First, you should be aware that I love Nate to his core, including his heresy, hypocrisies, and short-comings; my love shrouds his entirety, although I am fearful.

Nate's job requires him to drive all throughout the Midwest and occasionally to the east coast. The bulk of his work is driving and 20% is actually fixing the ramps that are installed into these handicap vans. Nate received his job right after high school. Please note that he only had his driver's license for 3 months, and had no qualifications as a technician. Nate was recommended for this job by his uncle. However, Nate is very diplomatic and had a decent mind for mechanics and was hired. This job was a heaven-sent: salaried position, self-governed schedule, cross country driving, and a company credit card.. if you know what I mean

Despite these favoring conditions, Nate found himself relentlessly afflicted by his job. He was forced to live in Toledo, Ohio torn away from his family and friends living in Illinois. He would try ever trick in the book to find a way to return to Illinois, and successfully did so by recruiting delivery drivers (in other words, his Illinois buddies). However, this crafty business maneuver did not exactly sit well with the company he worked for: it was not cost effective. Yet, his company was in a bind since they could not hire, nor retain, an additional employee strictly for deliveries since the workload was ridiculously inconsistent. Nor could the company afford a flat bed trailer to haul the vans. So, Nate had his way and was able to visit Illinois on a semi-consistent basis on the company dollar.

Nate has always been walking on thin ice with his company due to these type of business moves, but it is not as though the company was offering a different solution. Please note that Nate drives a company pickup truck. This was all great and dandy until the company installed a location tracker into the truck to record his whereabouts and mileage. Beforehand, he would use the company truck for leisure and personal use, which immediately stopped. This wasn't a big concern, just simply unfavorable since his personal truck doesn't even start.

Throughout his two years working with this company, I believe his job molded him into the man he is today. He understands that with great freedom comes great responsibility. At every turn, Nate has been faced with great burdens of responsibility. I.E. the safety required while driving a company vehicle, the weight of correctly installing mechanisms that lock in wheelchairs to prevent anyone from being injured in a car accident, the decision making of company money and the documentation that follows, adamantly following the legality involved in paperwork and title transfers and the works. Nate has always been very aware, verbal and stern about his responsibilities. He asks me how could he avoid thoughts of the weight his job duties provide while being on the road for hours and hours and hours.

More than the weight of consequence, Nate found himself distressed by his position in life. He realized that this was it, this was the job he will have until he retires. He will be traveling for long hours and for extended periods of time on the same ol' interstates. How could he maintain a home life, or sustain his white picket fence dream? How would he even be able to find someone to love traveling all the time? He realized he could not quit his job for fear of being a disappointment to his family and friends. For God's sake, he was practically granted this job. Who would hire an eighteen-year-old who's had his license for 3 months and zero technical training, and has him travel cross country to be the face and voice of their business? Nate realized that if he quit, he would be the most ungrateful little **** and the thought alone sickened him. He wasn't deserving of his job, but he maintained his position out of fear of failure. He was unhappy. He realized that in ten years, his buddies would be educated with degrees under their belts while Nate would just be behind the wheel as a handicap van technician. Right now, his status is above his age group, but only temporarily. His personal cell phone was a link to his customers, and he will always receive calls regarding work at non-opportune, bothersome times. He was faced with the dread of knowing that his life must take root in Ohio. For anyone who hasn't been to Ohio, it's drab and mostly industry based. He was faced with the dread that his salary was basically at its cap and his position hardly had opportune for growth. Basically, at the age of 20, his fate was right in front of him at all times.

Now, Nate's work history with his company isn't exactly the cleanest. In March, his uncle—who recommended him for the job—had passed away. Nate was devastated. He ended up quitting on the fly, but quickly recovered his rationale and spoke to the CEO stating it was an emotionally distressed decision. The company sympathesized and gave Nate leniency. After that mistake, Nate knew he was secured into his job because he was not going to allow himself to let that happen again. Without his uncle here, Nate had lost his role model. He lost the man that trusted and had good faith in Nate's capabilities. Nate lost the man that tied him to his job. Nate has never been so afflicted.

Now to the actual problem. Throughout his employment, Nate has lost the company credit card twice. Earlier this week, Nate last the company card for the third time. When he called to cancel and reissue the card, his boss told him that they will be looking for a replacement technician and will give him a 90 day notice after recruiting them. Nate was destroyed after hearing this, but had anticipated the worst since he has always felt he was on thin ice with his company.

It's been a few days since this has occurred. I know that Nate could manage to redeem himself, not through begging or pleading, but through recognition of how he bends over backwards for the company and how great his customer relations are; however, Nate seems to be reluctant to reinstate his worth to the company. He doesn't appear to be relieved at all, but just dazed by the fact. We talked just a week prior about how his job title is not who he is and I love him for everything with or without his job. But Nate is not interested in furthering his education, he tells me he would be complacent with a dead end job that at least guarantees he'll be in his own bed at night. I want to see my baby happy, but I feel completely repulsed and unsettled about this news. Maybe it's the fear that I just simply don't know what is going to come of this.

I asked a stranger for advise. They asked me what I wanted to happen. I said I want him to be happy, but my rationale tells me that letting this job slip away will only bring temporary happiness, and will actually create a whole slew of unsolicited problems. I ask myself if I want him to keep his job out of vain since I enjoy the times I get to travel with him, which is never for the sights (c'mon it's the flatlands), but because I get to be with my love and it creates some strange semblance that we're going somewhere, which does something for my restless mind. I also think it's out of vain because now that his job loss is a very real prospect, I sit here and think that maybe I've been so contended with my boyfriend because he's been a success... or a larger success than myself. Then I think about the excitement of possibilities that arise after the fact, because I know my boyfriend will do wonderful things no matter what his job is. Then I go back and think realistically and become disgusted by the thought of his smugness with a dead end job when he is worth so much more. I ended up rambling like this to the stranger and they told me that I had one of two options: let him be a man and make his own decisions, or make him the man he ought to be and make the decision for him. Please! Anyone, someone, what should I do?

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13 Dating Habits You Should Leave In 2013

You're having a blast… so avoid bringing up his ex! Make it your resolution to rid yourself of these dating habits to be a dating rock star in 2014!

Another year has come and gone and you're still single. What gives? Maybe the sea dried up and there are no fish left swimming... or maybe you need to refresh your dating technique to snag a guy. Read on to learn thirteen ways you can upgrade your dating game in 2014. There's no time like the present to hone your skills!

1. Stop Oversharing On The First Date
I remember during the end of one first date, he exclaimed how much fun he was having, and shared that on his last date, the woman revealed she was a rape victim before they had even ordered. That was inappropriate on her part (although she's probably trying to work through and heal from the situation). It was even more inappropriate for him to tell this story — especially in the form of an anecdote. 

More from YourTango: Reflect On Past, Present & Future: 6 Exercises For A Happy 2014

2. Lying About Little Things
You shouldn't lie about big things, such as marital status either, but little white lies suck, too. I've come across so many guys who lie about their height, where they live or even their position at work. Women lie, too. Ladies — he will eventually find out that isn't your real hair. Is it worth the fib? 

3. Dominating The Conversation
A conversation requires a minimum of two partners. At the end of every conversation, you both should feel as if you've said all that you needed to say and you've learned the information that you were seeking. A great trick is to ask a question right in the middle of a story that you're telling. If you're telling him about your cross-country road trip, don't just ask if he's ever been on one. Ask if he's ever wanted to go on one and why. Allow him to answer and then proceed.

4. Texting
Your phone should remain in your bag or pocket. If you're expecting a call or message, go to the bathroom to check it. 

5. Drunk Dating
Dates aren't the best places to get drunk, even if they're really bad. Have you ever been on a second date with someone who got drunk on the first one? Exactly. 

6. Not Dressing For The Occasion
Would you go to a funeral in hot Pink? Would you go swimming in sweats? Then why the heck would you go on a hiking date in heels or to dinner in cut-offs? Now, if the person didn't tell you what occasion to dress for, it's their bad — and a habit they need to work on. 

7. Stop Petting The Awkward Turtle
The Awkward Turtle is the animal mascot of the awkward moment. I love this little homeboy, but leave him at home. To avoid bringing him out don't ask questions about their ex, and definitely don't ask the dreaded question, "Why are you single?".

8. EX-plaining way too much
I'm not talking about providing more details about a certain topic. I'm referring to the terrible habit of bringing up your ex during every conversation. Not only on a date but with friends, co-workers, nail technicians, baristas and oh yeah — your blog.

9. First Date Sleep Overs
In New York, we hop into beds as easily as we do cabs. We really need to make a change in 2014. I'm going on 50 first dates, before the end of February and I'm definitely following my own advice.

10. Hating On Yourself
It's great that you don't spend the entire date humble bragging or showing off Instagram photos with celebs. But don't talk how much you think you suck at so-and-so... because eventually they might agree with you.

11. Instagramming Your Food
This goes back to texting, but some people will break out the phone for the house special so I felt I had to include it. This takes away from the moment. If you're excited about your flower-shaped polenta, share it with your date instead of your followers.

12. Going Back To The Future
You should look fly, but you're not Marty Mcfly so I'm going to need you to remain in the present. Don't talk about the fact you want a surrogate to maintain your figure or you want your mom to live with you guys. Keep it current. Keep it casual!

13. Actin' Brand New
Be yourself and don't try to be who you think they'd want to date. You might miss out on a great person because they may actually want to date the real you.

Want more? Watch me put these rules in action on my new show 50 States of Dating, which premieres this Valentine's Day!

More from YourTango: You're Never Too Old For True Love!

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Does the GIRL Like me? If so what should be my next move? Shud I continue texting her

There's a girl in our college that I like a lot! She is pretty n I'm sure she doesn't have a boyfriend!
I have talked to her twice or thrice regarding few motivating things and had a healthy conversation for a few hours now and then!
Now I'm somewhat staying away from college for peripheral posting!
I'm only in contact with her via Text messages where I msg her regarding random things!
The other day I came to know that she was ill! We briefly saw each other that day as I was in a hurry to catch a bus! Same day I Texted her regarding her ill health and even gave some health tips!

Her reply to this was "Thanks a lot for inquiring about my ill health. I'll follow your advice. Can I tell u something if you don't mind--NICE SHIRT--Gudnyt bye bye

To this I replied --THANK YOU! Gudnyt 2u2

After a couple of days she texted me *gud evening! When are you posted back to our college?

What do you ppl think?
Does the GIRL Like me? If so what should be my next move? Shud I continue texting her? If so what kind of SMS?
Does this mean she likes me only as a friend or something more?

Yesterday to wish for New Year I called her up at 1AM, we exchanged New Year Wishes over phone! Because it was pretty loud she again called me after an hour and again wished me and inquired when I was going to be posted in college and why I wasn't able to attend a college get together on New Year eve!
Plz help me ppl!

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The New Year Boom: Why You Should Start Online Dating Now

Everyone's doing it. Looking for your main squeeze? Here's why online dating registration peaks this week.

If you're looking for love, there's no time like the present. Seriously. Right now is the time to get yourself up off the couch, and head directly to the closest computer. It doesn't matter if the computer doesn't belong to you! It's just imperative that, if you're single and want to close this chapter of your life by getting partnered up, you set up an online profile now. Right this very second!

According to stats, it's the week between Christmas and New Year's that singles take to online dating sites the most in the hopes of finding the one. Why this particular time of year?

More from YourTango: Party Time: How To Make Your New Year's Eve Makeup Last All Night

As psychologist Dr. Wiebke Neberich explains, "During the holiday singles get a chance to truly consider their private lives. This motivation is reinforced by Christmas, which in celebrating love and the family rekindles people's interest in finding a solid partnership. It's unsurprising that so many singles put their New Year's resolution into practice by trying online dating."

Well, of course! Who doesn't want to try to procure someone to kiss on New Year's Eve, or get the chance to add yet another person to their already-long list of gifts to buy next Christmas? Whatever the individual reason may be, Elite Singles, a UK online dating service, found a 35 percent rise in new memberships after Christmas with them "peaking around the New Year and slowly returning to normal in January."

While the infographic only includes data from Europe, the same holds true for those singles living in the States. According to Today, Match.com "sees a 25 to 30 percent increase in new members registrations between Dec. 26 and Feb. 14," with the ultimate peak on January 2nd.

elitesingles.co.uk

It's also estimated that with the economy on the up swing, more and more singles are looking for love as their focus on money becomes a little less necessary than it has been in the past few years. If last year the increase of singles getting online and looking for love was 35 percent, then there's no telling how much more it will rise this year. Forty percent? Forty-five percent? Maybe even a 50 percent rise that will mean a 50 percent greater chance of you getting lucky playing the online dating game! Of course, these numbers are just speculation on the part of a woman who is bad at math, but we do know for sure that the number is bound to increase, and singles of the world can only benefit from it.

More from YourTango: Love Bytes: The 11 Signs You're Ready To Settle Down

Not to sound like your hometown low-budget car dealership commercial, but what are you waiting for? It's not very likely that love is going to show up at your door while you're sitting on the couch in your pajamas watching The Princess Bride for the millionth time, so do something about it. Get online, weed through the creeps, because there always are some, and find your main squeeze now. Everyone else is doing it this time of year, so succumb to peer pressure on this one. It's one of the few times where it's cool to do so.

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should i be suspicious of his female friend?

So I've been with my bf for a year and a half. I trust him fully. He's got a female friend since the time they went to college togethe, she's about 6 years older than him. Now i've never met her. I've only heared stories about her. Now she's married with a kid, and she was already married when she met my bf in school when he was single. I heared stories about how she used to drag him to go salsa dancing, because her husband wasn't into it. She slept over at his place quite a lot because it was close to her work place, or so she claimed. They used to hang out together a lot. And i mean a LOT, during school and afterwards, even without her husband around. They also used to go out a lot, again without her husband around, she used to call him a lot about help with her job after they had both graduated, and her husband was completely ok with it. Which i find odd, but i respect it.
When i met him and i heared about her, and I don't know... I just had a weird feeling about it. She refers to him as some sort of her younger brother. So ok, you needed him for school and studying, now you're married, what do you need a little brother for, and a bunch of other male friends?

They've met a few times since I've been together with him. I never told him not to, although I have expressed my slight discomfort with it. I've cut contact with some of my male friends since I've met him, because literally except for one, all of them have expressed a romantic or a sexual interest in me in a certain point. And I'm really really old fashioned, I think it's kinda weird how she's married with a kid, he's in a relationship, and she think it's still not a big issue to go salsa dancing together or meeting up alone for lunch.

Again, I've never told him not to meet her. I just told him I don't like the way she handles things, and it sounds as if she had a thing for him. As our relationship progressed, I told him once that it would make things really comfortable for me if i actually met her and got to know her in person and saw how they interacted, he agreed it was a good idea.
A few days ago, out of nowhere she asked him to meet her for breakfast over the weekend when he comes to visit his parents. He said he might not be coming, so she suggest she would go all the way to his city and meet him there. Now that's like at least an hour and a half drive, they don't live nearby, so it sounded really strange and desperate to me.
And i told him that and said that it's time for me to already meet her, and that i'm not comfortable with it, and that he could tell her exactly those words. I should also mention she used to meddle in our relationship a lot when they used to meet and give advice and warn him about things, when he didn't even ask for it.

So he did. She completely flipped out, and i have no idea why. She said she was shocked, and she's not going to meet me so i could "approve" of her, and that i should trust her from what he's telling me about her, and asked if he needed me to approve his other friends, and was completely angery about it and freaking out, which i don't get at all!
I mean, if she says he's like a little brother to her, wouldn't she have the need to finally meet his long term gf? Can't she as a woman, understand that other women are always suspicious and intimidated by other female friends? (mind you, he has another female friend where they talk once in a million years and have went once for work related stuff and i didn't mind, becuase she just didn't give me a bad vibe). I just don't get her reaction and why she won't meet me, and it makes me suspect that she's hiding something or really has feelings for me, because her reaction was completely over the top. I don't need to authorize it, i was being honest and expressed my discomfort, and said i'd prefer to meet her once, when we're all together.
What do you guys think of this situation? I gets me really suspicious.

It does sound like a bit of a suspicious situation, and I'm afraid we can't be really certain of anything. You'll have to make the decision to either trust or not trust your SO. I guess you'll just have to kind of wait it out, but you're not wrong for being suspicious. I would recommend sitting down and talking to your SO about it. Communication is the best advice I can offer.

He told her he would meet her, with you, so you could give him the ok to be her friend or insist you never speak to her again. That's basically what it would have come down to, no? I wouldn't meet you either. Sounds like drama to me and I want no part in it these days. And no, not all women are suspicious of their men and I have many male friends, I relate to them better and I couldn't be with someone who couldn't understand that or is always suspicious because of it. She sounds sincere to me. I may be wrong, so be it.. I know many people in her position who would do what you're suspecting. I also know people in her shoes who wouldn't.. me included. You can read into every move she makes, but it won't fix this. I don't have any real advice, because you can't help how you feel.. but in my opinion, nobody should have to give up their friends for someone. It's not fair and I would be heartbroken if the person I was with expected that of me.

I hope you can find it in yourself to be more trusting. If she's as shady as you think though.. it will come out eventually. If your boyfriend is a stand up guy, there's nothing she could do to make him be unfaithful or hurt you in anyway. I say trust him..

I have several male friends that I am close with in that way. My best male friend and I are both married with families and still hang out just the two of us at times and I have male friends who are not even in relationships yet come hang out at my house or we go to lunch or something. Relationships are all about trust. I wouldn’t be suspicious about the whole situation. Does she need to meet you just because the two of you are together? No. Should she meet you as you have been a large part of her best friend’s life and could possibly end up getting married one day? Yes.

Truth be told, you can’t force people to meet you or even like you even when they are your significant other’s friends or family. If you don’t trust them, then you honestly have another situation you are dealing with. Relationships need trust and males and females are able to be very close friends without having any type of romantic feelings for one another.

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Should You Believe In Soulmates?

SEE MORE VIDEOS Ten percent of women say they wouldn't shave their legs if it weren't for their significant other.

Love Buzz Subscribe to Love Buzz By The Good Men Project

And what happens if you can't find the one you're meant to be with?

Why is it that we click instantly with some people and not at all with others? Why is it that some people turn us on and keep us feeling good for years to a lifetime, while others make us want to run for the hills just to avoid seeing them again? And then, there is the all-time favorite, resigned and accepted "wisdom" of settling for "most" but not "all" we need and want, since conventional wisdom dictates "no one is perfect" and "no one person can satisfy all our needs."

How then do we go about finding the one we were meant to be with and is that even real?

More from YourTango: 7 Best Wedding Apps On The Interwebs

There is a lovely and brilliant fable aiming to explain this illusive (to find and sustain if you do find it) instant and deep connection with another we all crave, and it goes like this:

All souls live in a beehive like structure, two soul mates to an assigned cozy crib, in close proximity to many others, sharing a fulfilling social and intimate life, while waiting to choose a human body to inhabit on earth. The process can take many years but, since time has no meaning there, no one cares.

Eventually, each soul gets a human and separates from mate for the first time in aeon, certain a reunion is close at hand. Considering how inefficient and screw-up prone we all are, finding each other turns out to be a herculean quest not for the faint of heart and stamina. But we soldier on. No compromise, no surrender. We keep our eyes on the prize, which will make life so very sweet and worth living.

Of course this could all be wishful thinking or simply a fear of the unknown-based fantasy. So let's look at both sides of the soul mate or not soul mate divide and explore 10 reasons for each, in no particular order:

A. Reasons for soul mate as the only option

You are instantly "home." It's the love at first sight cynics dismiss. (They probably also don't believe in abandon, throwing caution to the wind and rolling around on the grass in a rain storm.)Chemistry is instant and palatable. He/she smells/tastes/looks and feels delicious, amazing and right. Passion comes easy and fast — as does the cuddling after–before comfy, touchy sleep, or not.You both view/live in the same world. Same funny, frustrating, depressing, bizarre, amazing, rewarding, elating and satisfying reality.She/he has your back no matter what and without conditions. Always a soft place to fall and the affirming validation we all crave.You are number one, top of the heap, the big cheese. First place is yours by right and fate and no one, not family, parental units, lover, child, nor the second dude or chick from the left, can change that.You are happy because you are with her/him. You are healthier, stronger, higher functioning and performing and better able to deal with anything life throws your way. It's you and her/him against the world, and that is a beautiful thing.Your love nourishes you and is your natural state of being. An oasis from stress and frustrations.She makes you feel like a man/woman. Being a couple is easy and requires little, if any, work.The concept of growing old together is comforting and stimulating. Never lonely, even when alone, and just being together is as good as it gets, right up there with the nights and days of passion and abandon (occasional gas — funny — does not prevent heading down south, after the air clears).This is what was meant to be. She/he gets you and wants you just the way you are.

B. Reasons for not soul mate as valid alternative

You're on your own, self sufficient and self-satisfying. You don't have to put up with anybody else's crap or share the island with.Soul mates are for sissies. Grown up real men (and women) hook up, get needs met and make it work for as long as they want to.
"Can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with," (Stephen Stills, 1970). You can choose serial monogamy or polyamory, whatever floats your boat.Forever inhabiting the easy shallow warm waters, never venturing to the deep cool ones requiring hard work. Keep it simple and casual.Coming home to find it exactly as you left it in the morning = Heaven.When those "cute" idiosyncrasies become annoying, fare well and move on.Always the first time, always freshly showered and sweet tasting. (The little blue pill really is for blood flow issues, not to make up for lack of desire and want.)No need to assert control or manipulate. You eat what you kill or go hungry, your choice.Everything is negotiable and you can always start again with a new partner (endless learning curve cycle is a bummer though).You learn to build a good life on your own.  Great skill to have, making change and loss easier to bear.

Finding and living your truth, your authentic comfort zone, is the key to happiness. Most of us will end up somewhere along the continuum between soul mate or not soul mate and will attain satisfying meaningful relationships, avoiding the "life of quiet desperation" we fear will be our fate if we don't find our "soul mate." Listen to your inner voice and it will guide you to your promised land, with or without your soul mate.

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Why You Should Move On From Your Knight In Shining Armor Fantasy

ProConnect Subscribe to Experts Blog By Justin Kelly McClure

Have a crush on the Knight In Shining Armor? Read on to learn why you should probably move on.

I just don't get this knight in shining armor ladies speak of. What is so desirable about this guy? Women want to be rescued by this knight, just a dude galloping over the hills on his horse wearing full body armor prepared to fight the Russians....or Anthony from New Jersey — whoever gets in his way is fair game. But to be honest, this knight guy seems pretty lame to me.

First off, he's on a horse. This guy doesn't even have a car. Ladies, you think your dad would approve of you dating a guy who can't even afford a 2002 or 2003 Honda Civic? This knight sounds like a loser. No car? He's poor. Riding up on his horse like he's a big deal but the reality is that we don’t even need horses anymore. Get a car, knight, and shine that up a bit.

More from YourTango: 5 Easy Ways To Be An Amazing Girlfriend

If you had to ride around on a horse with your knight, where would you go on a date? Probably to the river so the horse can drink some water. He's tired of lugging you around all day. You think the horse wants to hang out at Pizza Hut while you share a medium pizza for $11.99 (Knight had a coupon for equal or lesser value). No, the horse is thirsty. Once again, if your knight had a car, this wouldn't be an issue, but instead he's strutting around town on a horse.

Second off, let's say you are attracted to your knight, his horse, and how he sojourns around town like he's Alexander the Great (he even tells people he's related). Ok, so now you want to make-out and kiss your knight. Do you have three hours to sit around and wait for him to take off all his armor? It's gonna be hard to kiss Robocop while he's wearing a helmet that weighs more than a small child. He'll be like, "Ok, let's totally kiss, just give me a few hours to take off all my armor. Can you hold my sword and help me with these thigh plates?" Hell, by the time he's done you'll be in menopause and not even horny anymore. See, I told ya this knight was a loser.

Also, being in a relationship with a knight would be tough because he's always wearing that armor. You want a quick trip to IKEA? Good luck with that because your knight is going to take five hours putting on his armor. He's convinced the Romans might show up in the Home Furnishings sections ready to "get some". He's been waiting years for them to arrive.

Ladies, just saying, this knight doesn’t seem like a good choice. He's riding a horse, wearing armor all day, shiny looking like a prism. I think you can do better. I suggest while your knight is taking off his armor, get on his horse and ride away to find you a police officer in a bullet proof vest. At least that dude will have a car.

For more things to laugh about in dating, please check out my website. I have many funny posts and other animations so subscribe to get posts in your inbox! Also, my book "Pray Your Kids Are Ugly" is out now (the Future of Human Interactions)! Lastly, here is my Twitter and Facebook - say hello:)

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Other Articles/News by Justin Kelly McClure:By Justin Kelly McClure

Here's some dating advice that'll blow your mind: Talk to a girl by literally talking to her. You can't talk around her, above her, or underneath her... you have to talk directly to her. Look her in the eyes, be confident, and have purpose and direction in your approach. Scenario time. Let's pretend you're at an art gallery and see a ... Read moreBy Justin Kelly McClure

En route to a lunch meeting, walking briskly, you almost bump (literally!) into a woman headed in your direction. "Excuse me," you say, letting her pass realizing she's not just a woman, but also a very beautiful one. She's your type; brunette, athletic, light eyes, (at least, you said that was your type on your dating profile a few days ago). ... Read moreBy Justin Kelly McClure

Want to be an amazing girlfriend? Of course you do. Here are 5 simple and easy ways to make it happen. 1. Be present with him. When you are with your boyfriend, be with him. Turn your phone off. Put it in your purse, or put it in a drawer, but put it away. Whatever happens "on your phone" can wait. We will all survive without incessant Facebook ... Read moreSee More

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Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

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10 Things You Should Never Lie To Him About

One thing never to lie about? Your marriage goals. One guy reveals the white lies that hurt.

A little white lie never hurts, right? Well, not exactly.

Sometimes we tell little lies because we don't want to hurt our partner's feelings, but when it comes to dating, honesty is important. And, there's certain things we usually fib about — like how many people we've had sex with or how we really feel about his inner circle — that can be even more hurtful to our guys and our relationships.

More from YourTango: Kissing Bucket List: The 25 Best Places To Make Out

What things should you always be honest about with your man? Our friends at Essence count down the big things you should never lie about.

See the list at Essence: 10 Things Women Should Never Lie to Men About

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Your Work Crush: Should You Ask Him Out On A Date?

var cachebooster = (new Date()).getTime(); document.write( ''); Find an Expert Ask an Expert YourTango Expert Maya Ezratti weighs in on this oh-so pressing matter. By maya

LOVEBUZZ BLOG 5 Mad Men-Inspired Date Night Ideas Love Bytes: 12 Things Men Just HATE ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS var cachebooster = (new Date()).getTime(); document.write( '');

Do you have a crush on a co-worker from your office? Are you wondering if you can ask him out? If so, help is on the way.

In this video, author and YourTango Expert Maya Ezratti explains that dating a co-worker not only jeopardizes his career, but yours as well. "It's unprofessional and you'd be pursuing the man, which goes against the nature," she says. "Let him ask you out for drinks. Let him come up with work assignments to see you." She offers suggestions about what you should do in the meantime.

More from YourTango: Newly Single? How To Make A Fresh Start

Want to learn more? Check out the video above!

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4 Brainiacs Every Woman Should Date [EXPERT]

These men make being a 'geek' look a whole lot sexier. If you've been passing over the nerds in your life, you may be missing out on The One.

Smart guys sometimes seem to get a bad rap. Their level of intelligence may make them appear to be pompous or they can even come across as standoffish. Or, because they have a linear train of thought, they may not have much to contribute to a conversation that is not of interest to them. These brainiacs are often misunderstood and just like other singles, they are looking for someone to date. 

Before you dismiss these types as incompatible or not your type, add these types to the list of guys to date while searching for The One:

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1. The Wine Snob Foodie. This guy is going to take you to the best restaurants, wine tastings and may even book you tickets on The Top Chef cruise. He knows the perfect Bordeaux to order with dinner, the best Zagat-rated restaurants and the names of all the James Beard winners for the year.

He will provide you the greatest culinary experiences and show you a world that often is limited to a chosen few. He can educate you on differences between farm to table or local, organic versus natural and how sparkling wines simply do not compare to champagne. He may be overly opinionated or slightly pretentious but you will never go hungry with him around. 

2. The Bookworm. The first date might be for coffee at Barnes and Noble. The second may be a live reading from the latest author on the New York Times Bestselling List. He is protective over his Kindle and prides himself on his extensive in home library. Not limited to one subject, his range of interest varies from classical fiction to literary trilogies.

More from YourTango: Do You Need Closure For All Relationships? [EXPERT]

He speaks about characters in novels as if they are family members. He's never short on conversation because the latest book he's reading serves as his topic of the moment. You may not always know what he's talking about but Spark Notes and Google will get you through. You can always suggest watching the movie version to compliment his literary fascination. Keep reading ...

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'Data, A Love Story': 6 Things Online Daters Should Know [EXPERT]

ProConnect Subscribe to Experts Blog By Gina Stewart. Posted on Apr 3rd 2013.

Online dating doesn't necessarily mean that love is a mouse click away. Amy Webb's romantic memoir has several good lessons for online daters.

I just read Amy Webb's online dating memoir Data, A Love Story: How I Gamed Online To Meet My Match. In short, Webb is a frustrated singleton who's tired of a slew of bad online dates. She gets the idea to pose as her ideal man to get an understanding of how females react to him and learn how to reposition her own profile to gain this type of man's attention.

Spoiler alert: Her efforts work out for her and she meets her dream guy via online dating. I loved Webb's story and there were some very universal truths to it for anyone looking to increase their odds of finding love via online dating. There were some things that were specific to Webb's story though (she acknowledges this as well), as well as a few points that I disagree with her on as a professional online dating coach.

More from YourTango: Was that...? Seeing Someone You Know on an Online Dating Site

1. Webb's story revolved around attracting a man specific to her. Webb realized the folly of her initial online dating attempt. She took for granted how men would respond to her profile and she wrote it like a resume. This is a point I scream from the mountain tops to my readers: Your profile needs to be positioned to attract the type of person you are interested in. This is marketing; consider your audience and how your audience interprets what you say. When she rewrote her profile and chose pictures, she made sure to keep in mind the man she was trying to attract. Her type of man may not be your type, so put your audience first.

2. Webb did not initiate contact as a "man". While posing as her own dream man, Webb only responded to females who contacted "him" first. This doesn't necessarily replicate the way men online date. Most men are initiators in online dating because they have to be (probably because most men in online dating aren't fictional dream boats). Therefore, her pool of women she decides to base her stats and advice on were only women who initiated, which isn't the majority of women or even the most successful online women daters.

Furthermore, we can't forget Webb is a woman. She can't say that she understood what men would be attracted to in a female, she only knew what she would be attracted to in a female. But she's a she, so does that help other females? Ultimately what she did helped her a attract a man, there's no contest about that. But I'd like to take her points a step further. 

I do online dating with men, speaking to them and learning what makes them pursue one woman over another. What Webb got right are the importance of attractive pictures and seeming friendly. What she doesn't know is the importance of the written profile to getting contacted by men.

More from YourTango: Why Dudes Love Online Dating [EXPERT]

3. Correlation does not necessarily equal causation. Webb found a ton of very important data and changed her profile and behaviors to reflect the information she learned. Ultimately, Webb also met her dream man and married him. While Webb's story has a happy ending, it is important not to confuse her tactics with being a roadmap to love. What is important is that she increased her chances of finding the right guy. There is no telling which factors contributed to helping her meet her husband. The best you can do is position yourself in the most advantageous way possible. Keep reading ...

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Author, Dating Coach

Gina Stewart is the happy owner of ExpertOnlineDating.com, where she helps daters, especially men, get the more from their online dating experience and getting better dates. Chosen by DatingAdvice.com as one of the 10 Best Online Dating Experts, Gina's personal approach to coaching utilizes strategic marketing principals, clever and creative applications, and scientific data for a singular goal: getting dates. Her e-book Expert Online Dating: Advice for Men from a Hot Chick is available on Amazon and most other e-book retailers. Contact her via ExpertOnlineDating.com

Other Articles/News by Gina Stewart:By Gina Stewart

The other day I had a couple of girlfriends over. We had some wine and laughs and one of my friends pulled up her online dating account to show who had been contacting her (laughs continued). We were scrolling through one of the features where the site suggests people it thinks you may be interested in. A picture of a dark haired, blue-eyed guy that lived about ... Read moreBy Gina Stewart

When I first started my business, Expert Online Dating, it was to help men understand how they could best court women in the digital space. I was fascinated by the habits of the opposite sex, especially with regard to pursuing a woman online. So, when a little bird sent me some data on a recent study focusing on men and online dating, she was right that I would ... Read moreBy Gina Stewart

When people think about the hardest part of online dating, they often point to the written profile. Oh man, it's hard to write about yourself, right? Funny thing is that while writing about yourself is a skill, it's not writing about yourself, per se, which is the point most men struggle with and stops them from getting dates. They are simply bad at ... Read moreSee More

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