3 Reasons Your Married Man Will Never Leave His Wife

He probably won't change his mind. You're dating a married man, but if you think he'll be yours one day, guess again.

At least 3 times a week I get an email from women asking me about the married man they're dating. The women are all frustrated because the guy hasn't left his wife, and they want some form of commitment from him.

If you're dating a married man, this going to be a virtual slap in the face, and it's one you need. I'm going to give you 3 reasons you're wasting your life, and why he'll never leave her.

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1. He has everything he needs—Why would he leave his wife and kids? He gets to have amazing sex with you, with no commitment at all. Then he gets to go home and play with his kids. It's the ideal situation for a guy.

He has the wife who feeds him, cleans up after him, and looks after his children, and then he has his lover taking care of him in other ways he needs. He has two girlfriends and everything done for him. He's enjoying it!

2. Divorce is too painful—Think about the repercussions of divorce. There's the hassle of lawyers, the fighting, the upset of the children, the financial burden, and a host of other problems divorce throws up. Why would he put himself and his family through that if he doesn't have to?

You seem happy to see him when he can fit you in, so why would he leave his wife?

3. He'd have left her already—If this guy loved you more than anything, then even with the pain of divorce and the upset of leaving his family, he'd have left her by now. If he wanted to be with you, and if he loved you like you think he does, he'd have already left his family.

Think about it. He hasn't left his wife because he doesn't want to. Simple as that.

So what do you do about it?

Very simply, you give him an ultimatum. What he's doing isn't fair on you, his wife, or his children, and he needs to make up his mind. You need to gather as much strength as you can, look him in the face, and tell him, "I love you. I want to be with you. But I'm not going to do this anymore. I'm not going to see you again until you move out of your home.

"I want to come to your new apartment. I don't want to keep meeting at my place or hotels. The only way you'll see me again is if you text me or call me with the address of your new apartment. I want proof you've left your wife."

Give him this ultimatum and you’ll know where you stand. Are you going to be his partner or will you only ever be, "the other woman"?

You see the "other woman" is never going to succeed. The other woman is never going to get the man. All she's going to do is waste her life waiting for a man who will never be hers. She's missing the chance to find a man who's devoted only to her.

I know women that have done this for four, five, six years even. You need to look at your own emotional needs, wants, and desires. Are you dating a married man because you like to live on the edge? Is it because you don’t want commitment yourself? Maybe you're scared of men hurting you?

A lot of women date married men because they're so afraid of getting out there and meeting men. They have relationships with married guys because deep down they know it's never going to go anywhere. They don't need to leave themselves 100% vulnerable.

Other women just love the chase. They love the drama of trying to win a man who isn't theirs. You need to figure out who you are. My advice is stop being the other woman. It's not fair any of you involved, and you deserve a man of your own!

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13 Dating Habits You Should Leave In 2013

You're having a blast… so avoid bringing up his ex! Make it your resolution to rid yourself of these dating habits to be a dating rock star in 2014!

Another year has come and gone and you're still single. What gives? Maybe the sea dried up and there are no fish left swimming... or maybe you need to refresh your dating technique to snag a guy. Read on to learn thirteen ways you can upgrade your dating game in 2014. There's no time like the present to hone your skills!

1. Stop Oversharing On The First Date
I remember during the end of one first date, he exclaimed how much fun he was having, and shared that on his last date, the woman revealed she was a rape victim before they had even ordered. That was inappropriate on her part (although she's probably trying to work through and heal from the situation). It was even more inappropriate for him to tell this story — especially in the form of an anecdote. 

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2. Lying About Little Things
You shouldn't lie about big things, such as marital status either, but little white lies suck, too. I've come across so many guys who lie about their height, where they live or even their position at work. Women lie, too. Ladies — he will eventually find out that isn't your real hair. Is it worth the fib? 

3. Dominating The Conversation
A conversation requires a minimum of two partners. At the end of every conversation, you both should feel as if you've said all that you needed to say and you've learned the information that you were seeking. A great trick is to ask a question right in the middle of a story that you're telling. If you're telling him about your cross-country road trip, don't just ask if he's ever been on one. Ask if he's ever wanted to go on one and why. Allow him to answer and then proceed.

4. Texting
Your phone should remain in your bag or pocket. If you're expecting a call or message, go to the bathroom to check it. 

5. Drunk Dating
Dates aren't the best places to get drunk, even if they're really bad. Have you ever been on a second date with someone who got drunk on the first one? Exactly. 

6. Not Dressing For The Occasion
Would you go to a funeral in hot Pink? Would you go swimming in sweats? Then why the heck would you go on a hiking date in heels or to dinner in cut-offs? Now, if the person didn't tell you what occasion to dress for, it's their bad — and a habit they need to work on. 

7. Stop Petting The Awkward Turtle
The Awkward Turtle is the animal mascot of the awkward moment. I love this little homeboy, but leave him at home. To avoid bringing him out don't ask questions about their ex, and definitely don't ask the dreaded question, "Why are you single?".

8. EX-plaining way too much
I'm not talking about providing more details about a certain topic. I'm referring to the terrible habit of bringing up your ex during every conversation. Not only on a date but with friends, co-workers, nail technicians, baristas and oh yeah — your blog.

9. First Date Sleep Overs
In New York, we hop into beds as easily as we do cabs. We really need to make a change in 2014. I'm going on 50 first dates, before the end of February and I'm definitely following my own advice.

10. Hating On Yourself
It's great that you don't spend the entire date humble bragging or showing off Instagram photos with celebs. But don't talk how much you think you suck at so-and-so... because eventually they might agree with you.

11. Instagramming Your Food
This goes back to texting, but some people will break out the phone for the house special so I felt I had to include it. This takes away from the moment. If you're excited about your flower-shaped polenta, share it with your date instead of your followers.

12. Going Back To The Future
You should look fly, but you're not Marty Mcfly so I'm going to need you to remain in the present. Don't talk about the fact you want a surrogate to maintain your figure or you want your mom to live with you guys. Keep it current. Keep it casual!

13. Actin' Brand New
Be yourself and don't try to be who you think they'd want to date. You might miss out on a great person because they may actually want to date the real you.

Want more? Watch me put these rules in action on my new show 50 States of Dating, which premieres this Valentine's Day!

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