To be quite honest, there's nothing you can do.She was at least upfront with you about not wanting to get into a relationship. Now she contacts you wanting an explanation of why you like her supposedly after some guy dumps her.
My take is that her ego was bruised when she got dumped so she reached out to you for comfort. To make her feel better about herself. She hasn't made it clear that she liked you or led you on but she did do just "enough" to keep you interested. There's no other reason for her to contact you so late just because she was "curious".
What you need to understand is that she knows you like her. There's nothing else you have to do to convince her, so honestly you would be wasting your time chasing her or doing things to "convince" her. But really what you're trying to do is convince her to get into some type of relationship. That's not going to work.
Leave her be and go do your own thing. If she's interested, let her take initiative because she already knows where you stand.
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Did she reject me or do I still have a chance?(Please read everything)?
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Boyfriend lost his job, his everything, how should I help?
Name's Jessica, 20, Illinois resident.I've been dating my boyfriend, Nate, for roughly 6 months. We both graduated same year, but never developed further than pleasant acquaintances. Frankly, guys, I thought he had unwarranted self-autocracy, and preferred he kept himself subdued.
But I guess you can't help who you love.
Nate posted on a social network looking for help with his job. After two years of non-communication, I responded desperately seeking a source for extra income. He gave me the low down: he works as a handicap van technician stationed out in Ohio, and he needed an additional person to help deliver a van to a customer. We went on many road trips, some as far out as Massachusetts. Although I'd love to indulge in the very strange details and evolution of our relationship, I'll resist and stick to the facts as I am seeking beneficial, objective advice. First, you should be aware that I love Nate to his core, including his heresy, hypocrisies, and short-comings; my love shrouds his entirety, although I am fearful.
Nate's job requires him to drive all throughout the Midwest and occasionally to the east coast. The bulk of his work is driving and 20% is actually fixing the ramps that are installed into these handicap vans. Nate received his job right after high school. Please note that he only had his driver's license for 3 months, and had no qualifications as a technician. Nate was recommended for this job by his uncle. However, Nate is very diplomatic and had a decent mind for mechanics and was hired. This job was a heaven-sent: salaried position, self-governed schedule, cross country driving, and a company credit card.. if you know what I mean
Despite these favoring conditions, Nate found himself relentlessly afflicted by his job. He was forced to live in Toledo, Ohio torn away from his family and friends living in Illinois. He would try ever trick in the book to find a way to return to Illinois, and successfully did so by recruiting delivery drivers (in other words, his Illinois buddies). However, this crafty business maneuver did not exactly sit well with the company he worked for: it was not cost effective. Yet, his company was in a bind since they could not hire, nor retain, an additional employee strictly for deliveries since the workload was ridiculously inconsistent. Nor could the company afford a flat bed trailer to haul the vans. So, Nate had his way and was able to visit Illinois on a semi-consistent basis on the company dollar.
Nate has always been walking on thin ice with his company due to these type of business moves, but it is not as though the company was offering a different solution. Please note that Nate drives a company pickup truck. This was all great and dandy until the company installed a location tracker into the truck to record his whereabouts and mileage. Beforehand, he would use the company truck for leisure and personal use, which immediately stopped. This wasn't a big concern, just simply unfavorable since his personal truck doesn't even start.
Throughout his two years working with this company, I believe his job molded him into the man he is today. He understands that with great freedom comes great responsibility. At every turn, Nate has been faced with great burdens of responsibility. I.E. the safety required while driving a company vehicle, the weight of correctly installing mechanisms that lock in wheelchairs to prevent anyone from being injured in a car accident, the decision making of company money and the documentation that follows, adamantly following the legality involved in paperwork and title transfers and the works. Nate has always been very aware, verbal and stern about his responsibilities. He asks me how could he avoid thoughts of the weight his job duties provide while being on the road for hours and hours and hours.
More than the weight of consequence, Nate found himself distressed by his position in life. He realized that this was it, this was the job he will have until he retires. He will be traveling for long hours and for extended periods of time on the same ol' interstates. How could he maintain a home life, or sustain his white picket fence dream? How would he even be able to find someone to love traveling all the time? He realized he could not quit his job for fear of being a disappointment to his family and friends. For God's sake, he was practically granted this job. Who would hire an eighteen-year-old who's had his license for 3 months and zero technical training, and has him travel cross country to be the face and voice of their business? Nate realized that if he quit, he would be the most ungrateful little **** and the thought alone sickened him. He wasn't deserving of his job, but he maintained his position out of fear of failure. He was unhappy. He realized that in ten years, his buddies would be educated with degrees under their belts while Nate would just be behind the wheel as a handicap van technician. Right now, his status is above his age group, but only temporarily. His personal cell phone was a link to his customers, and he will always receive calls regarding work at non-opportune, bothersome times. He was faced with the dread of knowing that his life must take root in Ohio. For anyone who hasn't been to Ohio, it's drab and mostly industry based. He was faced with the dread that his salary was basically at its cap and his position hardly had opportune for growth. Basically, at the age of 20, his fate was right in front of him at all times.
Now, Nate's work history with his company isn't exactly the cleanest. In March, his uncle—who recommended him for the job—had passed away. Nate was devastated. He ended up quitting on the fly, but quickly recovered his rationale and spoke to the CEO stating it was an emotionally distressed decision. The company sympathesized and gave Nate leniency. After that mistake, Nate knew he was secured into his job because he was not going to allow himself to let that happen again. Without his uncle here, Nate had lost his role model. He lost the man that trusted and had good faith in Nate's capabilities. Nate lost the man that tied him to his job. Nate has never been so afflicted.
Now to the actual problem. Throughout his employment, Nate has lost the company credit card twice. Earlier this week, Nate last the company card for the third time. When he called to cancel and reissue the card, his boss told him that they will be looking for a replacement technician and will give him a 90 day notice after recruiting them. Nate was destroyed after hearing this, but had anticipated the worst since he has always felt he was on thin ice with his company.
It's been a few days since this has occurred. I know that Nate could manage to redeem himself, not through begging or pleading, but through recognition of how he bends over backwards for the company and how great his customer relations are; however, Nate seems to be reluctant to reinstate his worth to the company. He doesn't appear to be relieved at all, but just dazed by the fact. We talked just a week prior about how his job title is not who he is and I love him for everything with or without his job. But Nate is not interested in furthering his education, he tells me he would be complacent with a dead end job that at least guarantees he'll be in his own bed at night. I want to see my baby happy, but I feel completely repulsed and unsettled about this news. Maybe it's the fear that I just simply don't know what is going to come of this.
I asked a stranger for advise. They asked me what I wanted to happen. I said I want him to be happy, but my rationale tells me that letting this job slip away will only bring temporary happiness, and will actually create a whole slew of unsolicited problems. I ask myself if I want him to keep his job out of vain since I enjoy the times I get to travel with him, which is never for the sights (c'mon it's the flatlands), but because I get to be with my love and it creates some strange semblance that we're going somewhere, which does something for my restless mind. I also think it's out of vain because now that his job loss is a very real prospect, I sit here and think that maybe I've been so contended with my boyfriend because he's been a success... or a larger success than myself. Then I think about the excitement of possibilities that arise after the fact, because I know my boyfriend will do wonderful things no matter what his job is. Then I go back and think realistically and become disgusted by the thought of his smugness with a dead end job when he is worth so much more. I ended up rambling like this to the stranger and they told me that I had one of two options: let him be a man and make his own decisions, or make him the man he ought to be and make the decision for him. Please! Anyone, someone, what should I do?
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Win Everything You Need For A Simple, Scrumptious DIY Dinner Date
Love is sweet ... and so is this giveaway. What's your go-to dinner date dish? Tell us and win a delicious meal for two. Get ready for the most delicious date night of your lives: YourTango is sending five lucky readers all the supplies they need to cook a scrumptious, swoon-worthy dinner for two! Dazzle your S.O. with dishes you thought only existed in faraway lands (or on takeout menus), such as pad Thai from Thailand or bulgogi from Korea. And impress yourself (especially if you’re a rookie!) by following the included step-by-step instructions, which make meal prep a piece of cake.
Your DIY dinner date will start with a meal kit from Destination Dinners. Each box has its own ethnic theme and includes pre-measured spices and ingredients. (If you’re anything like us and have spent $6.99 on a bottle of garam masala that you’ve used just once, you'll understand how truly brilliant this is.)
And for dessert, your dinner date includes an apple red heart-shaped fondue pot by Chantal and the perfect melting milk chocolate "Caibos" from Max Brenner’s Chocolate Shop. Wash it all down with luscious Italian hot chocolate in Max’s signature "hug mugs." Then, smile...you've just sealed the deal.
This giveaway (a $93 retail value!) includes:
-A Destination Dinner meal-kit from the country of your choice (you’ll need to supply any perishables)
-A Chantal heart-shaped fondue pot and two stainless steel forks
-Max Brenner’s Milk Chocolate Caibos (BYOD -- Bring Your Own Dippers!)
-Max Brenner's Hug Mug Set
Enter below.
Step 1:
Answer in the comments, below: what's the go-to meal you make to impress a date?
Step 2:
For extra entries, complete the steps in the widget below!
To enter to win, please leave a comment answering the question: what's the go-to meal you make to impress a date? For additional entries, follow the instructions in the widget above. Remember to leave your e-mail so we can contact you if you win. 5 YT readers will win. Contest closes October 11, 2013 and winners will be notified by October 21, 2013. Official rules, eligibility and contest description can be found here.
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Stop Hibernating! How To Date When You're Allergic To Everything
'); 
Find an Expert Sunday, May 19, 2013
Love Compatibility Tests: Everything You Need To Know
Relationship tests (online or otherwise) are not as scientific as you might think. Thinking of taking a love compatibility test? Here are some important facts to be aware of.According to a poll by WhatsYourPrice.com, 60 percent of women "test" their significant others to see if the relationship will last. As the co-owner of a company with one of the few scientifically proven love compatibility tests, I feel that it's important to set the record straight when it comes to predicting the future of a relationship. Here are a few key facts you should know about compatibility tests:
No one test is going to guarantee long-lasting love and fulfillment! There are serious traps and downfalls in relying on tests to guarantee relationship success.If you require a test to validate your relationship, you're a long way from being ready to jump into a longterm commitment.The only way a test is useful is to help you get to know your partner and to appreciate, acknowledge, and accept their unique qualities. Anything else is folly.This may sound pretty severe coming from a person who uses compatibility testing as the foundation for a coaching school, apps for mobile phones, dating compatibility determination and for counseling customers across the globe. But I'm just being realistic. Sure, we can look at endless tests that say they can predict relationship success. And of course, when most people think of tests, they think of sets of questions that will yield specific conclusions.
More from YourTango: 5 Date Night Ideas For Couples Who Love To CookThe tests referenced in the WhatsYourPrice.com survey are not those types of tests. The women surveyed listed a variety of experiential "tests" they used to gauge the potential of their man. They would go on a vacation with him or spend time around friends or see how he did around other women when they weren't around. They even did a sensitivity test to see how tuned-in a man was to their wants and needs. These tests may have their value in a particular relationship, but they're completely unscientific and worthless as a statistical tool.
There is also a trap in these tests, because in the early stages of relationships, couples are usually so chemically induced into happiness that they're not able to judge their partner with any degree of real clarity. People see what they want to see and rarely what is truly there. They fantasize about the future and make exceptions for actions that their friends tell them are red flags.
More from YourTango: Great Foreplay Means More PlayThere's no question that it's useful to spend time with your partner to see how compatible you are: traveling, shopping, making split-second decisions. If you haven't done this, making a life-long committment is a big risk. This is called experiencing life together. But make sure you stay grounded so you can see and feel what is truly happening. Keep reading...
More relationship advice from YourTango:
Marriage/Couples CounselorCome from a place of unconditional love—seek to see before you seek to be seen.
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support, MatchmakingOther Articles/News by *Larry Michel*:By *Larry Michel*Why should you have your next hot date night in the kitchen? Because the next best thing to a full-body orgasm is seeing, smelling and eating something that ignites our taste buds, exceeds our imagination, and plays with our senses so that our bodies and minds delight in gastronomic ecstasy. Yes, food is unquestionably the most powerful aphrodisiac known to ... Read moreBy *Larry Michel*No one could argue that a great sexual encounter requires some degree of inspiration to get things going. The catchall term for this is “Foreplay.” But what is foreplay really? Is it words of endearment, spicy texting before you meet, a great massage, two shots of tequila, a house full of lit candles and Erotic Moods playing on the stereo, ... Read moreBy *Larry Michel*You’ve been dating for half a year and at least half that time sleeping, eating, shopping and entertaining together. Life is good. So good you’re wondering why you still have separate homes. You have your moments and always work through them becoming closer and closer. Love is unquestionable…or is it? There is one glaring problem. ... Read moreSee More
A woman’s perceived power in a relationship greatly depends on her confidence 
If you want to have a totally fulfilling relationship with your partner discover the art of honor. 
NFL star, Mario Williams, and ex in ugly legal battle over $785k ring. What’s the right thing to do?Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.
YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.
Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…
Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.
So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?
What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?See more resources>