Should I pursue this or move on?

So last week I went out with a guy I really clicked with. It was so good, during our first date he was coming up with ideas for our second one. I'm going to be studying in the south, and I had to go back up to Paris the day after, and then when to Italy for a few days, so it was impossible to see him again. He was such a catch! My age, studying nursing, very smart and very cultivated. Very mature too and handsome.

The day before I returned to France I messaged him telling him I was coming back,and would love to see him again, if he wanted to see me. It was kind of romantically suggestive and He didn't take long to respond to me. He told me how pleased he was to see my message, but the day I got back he was going to Spain. I told him I may come a little earlier, to start moving into my apartment and he told me if I do, to let him know and we can work something out.

I texted him when I arrived back in Paris, telling him I'll be coming down two days earlier, but he didn't respond. I decided to call again, before I got on the train to ask again, and he seemed happy that I called, he was apologetic for not responding, he said he was going to call me later that day but he is helping a friend move, so it really depended on the time I arrived.. That's understandable I think. I arrived quite a bit later than expected, and he wasn't able to make it for dinner plans, so it was kind of a waste in a way.

I feel like maybe he is avoiding me and the only thing I can think of is me coming on too strong. I know he's really busy, and in another country at the moment, but his responses to me became shorter and shorter and less emotive. He didn't seem to be overly emotive in person, and I don't know him well enough to say anything, but I really felt like there could be something with this guy, and I have this fear in my mind that I ruined it.. But maybe I'm over thinking it too.

I told a friend about it and he advised me to see other people for the time being, till he's back, and every night since then I've been out with someone new. A few sexual encounters, but nothing felt good like with this guy.

I haven't spoken to him in days so he can enjoy his holiday, and i don't seem needy or that I'm clingy, but do you guys reckon I should call or text when he's back?
I told him on the phone the reason I'm persistent is that when he gets back, I'm going to the French Riviera, so I won't see him for at least another with when he's back, so he understands that..

But yeah what do you think? Should I make one more attempt to make plans, or just let it go and move on?
Thanks for the advise.

P.S we even took a selfie together, and when he messaged me asking for it, he told me he loved it.. Though we both looked horrible in it

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The One Reason You Should Let Him Pursue You

Attract someone who will date you with real leadership. There's nothing more powerful for a man than having to work for something he values.

As a relationship coach, I've heard lots of single men say some version of the following: "I like her, she's cute and all, but I don't know...I'm just not feeling that strongly about her. But she keeps calling me and, well, it's nice to have someone to go out with."

But what I heard when they met "the one" was vastly different! "Wow, she is amazing. It took me three tries to get her to go out with me, but once we did, things took off. We've been dating for a few months—yeah I see her four nights a week or more—and I'm going to propose soon."

More from YourTango: 3 Reasons Men Need To Take The Lead In Relationships

Then there are the stories I hear from my happily married executive coaching clients, which almost all sound something like this: "We met [in high school, in college, shortly after college] and I started asking her out. She put up some kind of initial obstacle I had to overcome [some other guy in the picture, taking a job that was geographically distant, not ready for a serious relationship, etc.], but that just made me want her more. We've been married for [anywhere from 10 to 30years] and she's my best friend, my partner, my lover, and the person without whom I wouldn't be who I am today."

A guy falls in love with the woman he: a) sees as attractive and desirable, and b) has to pursue. Something about the pursuit part of it causes his heart to engage in a way that it doesn't when she's after him. In fact, it seems that a guy's heart will shut down if he is pursued by her and denied the role of pursuer.

That is the one reason to let him pursue: There's nothing more powerful for a man than having to work for something he values. Why not find out if he values you enough to work hard to win your love? Maybe it's time to set your standards higher, so that you can attract someone who will date you with real leadership.

Guys, If you are not putting real effort into dating, maybe you should aim higher. Aim for someone who has choices, who has her act together, and who won't go out with you if you text for dates. Pursuing someone like that may turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you!

About the author: Nina Atwood, M.Ed., LPC, is a nationally known psychotherapist, author of five self-help books, and frequent expert media guest. Read Nina's transformational books; for women: Temptations of the Single Girl: The Ten Dating Traps You Must Avoid, and for men: Date Like a CEO: Leadership in Life and Love for Men. To successfully date online, get Nina’s $0.99 cent eBook Internet Dating for the Savvy Single. Get Nina's free eBook as well as loads of free advice and Love Strategies at www.singlescoach.com.

More from YourTango: Breaking Up: Lies, Excuses, and Truths

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Is She Interested? Should I Still Pursue Her?

I met a girl a few weeks ago at a gallery opening. So that you get a proper picture of the situation, I should mention there is a considerable age difference. I'm older. We seemed to hit it off and added each other on Facebook. A few days later I sent her some info on an artistic project of mine. She responded and thanked me. A couple of days later I sent her a message saying that I enjoyed talking to her, and would like to have lunch. About a day later she said that would be great.

On valentine's day I wished her a Happy Valentine's day. She thanked me and said happy valentine's as well.

A couple of days later, I asked her if she wanted to go to lunch that week.

A day later she responded that at her job they don't really take lunch. Everyone works through it. She said she would be happy to meet during the weekend or for a cup of coffee before work.

I decided to just ask her for dinner on a Saturday. But since her last message was on Friday, I thought one day's notice would not be sufficient, so I decided to wait until Sunday, two days after her last message, to ask her for dinner for the following Saturday.

So I left her the message, and 3 days passed and still no response. I was certain I had been ignored and rejected. On the 4th day she finally replied, and apologized because she only just saw my message. She said she had dinner plans for Saturday, and asked if we could do it another day. She said she could meet after work.

Does it sound like I have a shot?

I think so.. Now its depends on you.. when will you go to meet her that time you notice her response towards you so you can yourself imagine that she will interested in you or not.. Because she is cooperating you, but because of her job and time also doesn't match that's why you sit can mot meet her so I thing there will be a chance for you so just go ahead... Good Luck Buddy....

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do I need to let him pursue me? or can I be forward?

Here's my question, I've known this guy for a year now. We've had kind of a complicated relationship/friends with benefits type relationship all along. Yes, slept together many times.

He's also said goodbye to me a few times, and then our lives keep crossing paths again and it's like we're back where we left off.

Anyway - I'm a songwriter and musician. He works as a music manager and booking bands/events, etc. That's actually how we met. I feel like I'm trying to ride the line of pursuing him and letting him know how much he means to me, but trying to keep my distance so he can pursue me and chase after me. How much of a factor is that for guys? Being the one who does the pursuing? If someone's too available, is it a turnoff?

I've written a couple songs about him before, and he knew they were about him. I have one that I just finished, that I'd really like to send to him and say, "I wrote this for you," but I also don't want to be too forward or too overwhelming if he's not ready for that.

So....thoughts??? Do I need to let him chase after me? Is it okay to give him a gift (a song) first? Or should I hold off?

With this guy, we've already been together several times and have shared quite a bit, but it still truly feels like a very complicated relationship, one I don't want to do something to ruin it completely.

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