“I’m sorry I’m so bad at this,” Andy, the talk radio/movie review host I was interviewing for work said sheepishly. “I told them I’d be bad at this.”
Truth be told, Andy had gotten better, but he’d set the bar so low with the first couple of shoots that he had nowhere to go but up. And it was unfortunate, because he’s not only cute, but also a really engaging writer.
“I have an idea,” I said, checking the time. 12:30. “Let’s break for lunch.”
I led him to a gastropub down the street from the studio.
“Get a drink,” I commanded. “A real one.”
He ordered a scotch on the rocks, and I ordered a soda.
“So what’s your favorite movie of all time?” I asked.
“Shawshank Redemption,” he said.
“Really?” I asked, surprised.
“Oh, absolutely,” he said. “It’s pretty much the perfect movie.”
As he began waxing poetic about Tim Robbins’ and Morgan Freeman’s on-screen performances and chemistry, I realized what was missing from these videos: Him. When we got back to the studio, I let him in on my idea.
“Forget the script,” I said, taking the pages out of his hand. “Just talk.”
Breakthrough! We actually got some good moments on camera. Dave’s going to be annoyed, because the videos are going to require major editing, which wasn’t originally part of the plan, but he’ll deal.
I was feeling good as I left work to head over to my writing class. We instinctively all sat in the same seats as last time, and when it came time to read drafts, James and I decided to partner up.
James’ short story was about a veteran returning home from a fictional war with post-traumatic stress disorder, and trying to reenter normal society. It wasn’t bad, but it felt a little like a Very Important Story. It kind of beat you over the head with its own self-importance.
“I think it needs to lighten up a bit,” I said when I was done.
“K., it’s about PTSD.”
“I’m aware of that. But it needs moments that aren’t so heavy. When it’s all doom and gloom, all the time, it’s a chore to read. Throw in some happy flashbacks or something.”
“That’s actually not a terrible idea. You, on the other hand, could stand to go more the other way.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning it’s funny. And it’s enjoyable to read. But there’s no there, there. It’s shallow. She has this blog where she doesn’t write anything all that bad, and she’s worried her boyfriend will find out about it. The stakes are too low. She needs to blog about something that could be potentially devastating if anyone found out about it.”
“You are absolutely right,” I said, surprised.
When class was over, James and I walked out together.
“Want to grab a drink or coffee or something?” he asked.
“Oh. I uh—“
“K., I noticed the engagement ring. I’m not hitting on you. I just think you’re cool. In a totally platonic way.”
“I think you’re cool in a totally platonic way, too, but I actually have plans tonight. Maybe next time.”
I was lying about having plans, of course, but I didn’t want to tell the truth, which is that I had no idea if hanging out with James was appropriate. I’ve gotten burned by making a new male friend while in a relationship before. But it does seem like James and I are going to become friends, organically, over the next 10 weeks. I think I’m going to preemptively discuss it was Ben.
Posted at 11:02 PM
Find your date here
" then she said: "I am not looking for a boyfriend at the moment and I'll be going back home in a couple of months" (she lives on the other side of the planet, she is only in England for a couple of months) so I asked again and she said the same thing followed by an "awww, ill text you." So I left but texted her later first saying I had a great time thanks 
It's true: a best friend can make you a much more attractive partner. You share everything with your best friend... even relationship building skills!
Only your behavior can let him know that you're serious about wanting a real relationship.