Girl has a boyfriend, but is falling in love with me

So this one girl i work with is falling in love with me...shes told me this and has strong feelings for me......she has a bf of 4 years and is unsure if she wants to be with him,...only thing is shes told me she makes the worst relationship decisions and doestnt want to regret leaving him and being with me.....she calls texts me all the time even when we are not at work...shes came over quite a bit and calls me babe and so on....what do i do? she works part time and is from ny with her bf and i almost feel like he might be the one paying her stuff until shes done with school in april....i dont know what to do

Stay away until she actually leaves her boyfriend. You have NO idea what is truly going on in their relationship because you only hear one side. Do not get involved in this situation. 4 years is a long time to be invested in someone and that needs to run its course before you even entertain the idea of being with her. What she is doing is emotionally cheating, and that is not cool. She shouldn't be coming over to your house, calling you Babe or texting you all the time. She's having her cake and eating it too. How would you feel if she was your girlfriend and she was doing those things with another guy? If you are correct that she is being financially supported by this guy while shes in school and that's why she stays- well.... do you really want a girl like that? Think about it

I would try to know her a bit more before moving forward (for example, is her bf really paying for her financially?? would that mean a lot to that guy?), just to protect myself

Stay away until she actually leaves her boyfriend. You have NO idea what is truly going on in their relationship because you only hear one side. Do not get involved in this situation. 4 years is a long time to be invested in someone and that needs to run its course before you even entertain the idea of being with her. What she is doing is emotionally cheating, and that is not cool. She shouldn't be coming over to your house, calling you Babe or texting you all the time. She's having her cake and eating it too. How would you feel if she was your girlfriend and she was doing those things with another guy? If you are correct that she is being financially supported by this guy while shes in school and that's why she stays- well.... do you really want a girl like that? Think about iti actually said that to her eating her cake part. i guess he has no clue

I would try to know her a bit more before moving forward (for example, is her bf really paying for her financially?? would that mean a lot to that guy?), just to protect myselfwhat do you mean alot?

Never give your heart to someone who can leave one relationship and jump in to the next so quickly. It will not be hard for her to do the same to you. How can you ever trust that someone like this will be loyal or faithful to you. She could be looking for an escape and not love you deserve better.

Well if you are better looking than her bf then that's one reason why she likes you over him. If he's paying for her bills, then I guess you should be aware and cautious that she's a gold-digger, and if you can't support her then she will look for a new sugar daddy.

I do not think that such kind of girl or a person should be really trusted. Although she was being honest by telling you about her feelings and relationships, that could not hide the fact that she is cheating by flirting with you. Better to really know her personality cause she might just a player or she is really confused.

Get to know her better first. She might be a girl who easily changes her feelings all the time.

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Girl, Stop Chasing That Guy. He Doesn't Want To Be Your Boyfriend

By David Wygant

It's hard to love a man who doesn't love you. But here's why it's destroying your life.

Today, I want to deal with a subject that really bothers me. Tens of thousands of people around the world suffer from "social disease." You may even be suffering with this affliction yourself right now. I'm going to explain what this "affliction" is and show you how to beat it if you're one of the many sufferers worldwide.

What is the horrible issue I'm talking about? It's craving someone who doesn't feel the same way about you!

Every day, I receive hundreds of emails, all along the same lines.

"I'm head over heels in love with this guy. I'd do anything for him. He's my world. I'd give my life in a heartbeat to make him happy. The trouble is, he doesn't feel the same way. He's becoming distant. He's even said he doesn't think he can be with me anymore. What can I do to get him back? I can't stand the thought of being without him. It's breaking my heart!"

And this is just one, although I recieve many of the same type of email. Every day there are women pining for men who don't feel the same way. Every day I have women begging me to help them take a man who isn't responding to them romantically, and make him suddenly love her.

Ladies, I'm pleading with you to stop chasing men who don't share your romantic feelings. Why would you want to waste your time with a man who's telling you he doesn't feel the same way as you?

I speak to so many beautiful, amazing women who are so desperately hung up on one guy who doesn't feel the same. It breaks my heart. Why does it break my heart? There are three main reasons. I’ll explain all three right now.

1. You Can't Change His Mind.
If a man has told you outright, he doesn't feel romantically towards you, there's no point trying to change his mind. The days, weeks or months you waste trying to make him feel differently, you can never get back.

If he's told you he doesn't feel the same way, or isn't prepared to commit to you, he's made up his mind. No amount of pleading, begging or crying is going to change his mind. Even if he does cave in, chances are he'll be doing it because he feels guilty and I guarantee it won't end well. He'll soon realize how he feels. Then he'll be off again, leaving you in a mess. Love has to be authentic and organic. If he has to force his feelings for you, they won't be genuine. That isn't a good basis for a long-term relationship.

2. It's Going To Destroy Your Self-Esteem.
Think about what happens to a child or a dog when you tease them with a toy and don't let them catch it. Eventually, they lose heart and give up. They'll get frustrated and feel bad about themselves. When you spend your time chasing a man who doesn't feel the same way as you, you're destroying your self-esteem. You're basically begging for him to love you.

What you're telling yourself sub-consciously is that you're not good enough or that you're not worthy of him. And we both know that isn't true!

I speak to so many women who struggle with self-esteem or confidence issues because of what some guy did to them. I hate it. Never let a man dictate how you feel about yourself. Never rely on a man to validate you. Never think you need the affection of a man before you're a worthy woman.

Every single one of you is beautiful, desirable and worthy in every way, shape and form. That brings me to the third point.

3. There’s A Guy Out There Who’s CRAZY About You!
In fact, there are tens of thousands of others guys out there who would give their right arm to be with you. I know because I coach them. There are some amazing, confident, attractive and well put-together men out there, who crave nothing more than a girlfriend. Why on earth do you want to chase a man who doesn't want you, when there are so many amazing men who do?

You're so much better than that. If a man isn't interested in you, move on without him. I'm sorry if you're suffering. This sounds rough on you. I just can't stand to see great women feeling so bad when there's really no need to.

If a guy tells you he doesn't want to commit or can't give you what you want, don't try to change his mind. Even if you're convinced he's your perfect man or Disney prince. I want you to be strong and to let him go. If he was the right man for you, he'd feel the same way you do and you'd ride off into the sunset together.

Don't be afraid of being on your own. It doesn't matter how long it takes you to find a man you connect with. It's far better to be on your own a while than to be with someone who doesn't deserve your love. I promise you, there is a man out there for you who will love you exactly how you need to him to love you.

There's a man out there who will love and adore you just the same way as you do him. There's a man out there right now, probably writing me an email begging me to help him find a woman like you.

Until you stop chasing the wrong guys, you're not going to catch the right guys! They're right under your nose when you start looking around you!

Dating, Mating and Man-Handling: The Ornithological Guide to Men by Lauren Frances "This book takes you on a tour of romance, from casual dating to man-handling skills once you're in a relationship. Sometimes her depth and brilliance gets blown off because it's in such a cute, tongue-in-cheek package, but there are real, valuable theories in here in addition to being a fun read." Dating Coach

Are you ready to finally find love?

David

www.davidwygant.com

Other Articles/News by David Wygant:By David Wygant

There's nothing better than just spending time on the beach and relaxing. I live in L.A and we have tons of beaches there, but nothing is better than getting out the city for a while. There's nothing like taking the time to connect with friends and loved ones, instead of stressing over some date that went wrong or a guy who didn't call you ... Read moreBy David Wygant

Summer is magic on the East Coast. It was funny. Before I went on this little break, I was thinking about where I wanted to go. I live in a perpetual spring and summer. I live in a place where the ocean really isn't that clean. When you're somewhere the weather is always so nice and sunny, you forget what it's like to have a summer. When I go ... Read moreBy David Wygant

Do you wake up in the morning and think right away, "I need a coffee to start my day. I'm not going to be able to start my day until I have that coffee. I need coffee right now or I can't do a thing?" The real question is, do you really need coffee, or have you programmed your mind to believe that over the years because of your language? Think ... Read moreSee More

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Need Help Being An Attentive Boyfriend? There's An App For That!

It looks like someone found his new favorite app. Those loving texts just got a lot more automated. Is this app a wingman or relationship-killer?

It's a new month, which of course means it's time for a bunch of new apps to shake up your love life. The newest? Well, the refreshing thing about it is that it's not another superficial, hot-or-not dating app — or one to help you plan your threesome.

Instead it's helping guys get a little bit more comfortable with their sensitive sides, or arguably, helping them avoid it by getting a computer to do it for them. It can easily be used to fake emotions to make their girlfriends happy — until the guys get caught that is.

More from YourTango: Are You Guilty? 77 Percent Of Women Admit To This Bad Habit

The new Android app is understandably called "BroApp" and it sends automated text messages to the lady of their choice. In order to have some control over the messages, you can select a pet name to be included in the messages like, "sweet pea" and "honey."

You can pre-write text messages or select ones from options given by the app. And don't worry, to make sure an automated message won't be sent while the "bro" is with his girlfriend (how awkward would that be?), the app can recognize his partner's WiFi. These bros think of everything!

The founders of the app told Wired that the tool will help maximize the user's relationship and the receiver will see that their partner is engaged in their relationship. I guess that is true, but wouldn't it only give the girlfriend a false sense of security in the relationship if the bro isn't really invested in it to remember to send her a simple text? It seems more like a temporary fix, if anything.

So does this app actually interest guys? Would they really outsource affectionate text messages? Well, we went out asked for you.

Sign Me Up, Now.
"Sounds kinda dangerous, but anything to communicate less on the phone. It's actually kinda funny you brought this up, because my girl moved down to Florida and since communication has been tough to say the least. I believe in 30 sec conversations, not 3 hour ones. A phone is tiring, you gotta hold it up to your head, and usually I am focused on something else while I am on the phone," says J.D., 23

"Absolutely! It would allow me to think less! I would select from the options given." says Barry, 27

"I might, not a fan of the name personally. But I do like the idea behind it," says Josh, 21 "It could have practical uses. If you're drunk it could potentially keep me from texting people when I shouldn't be."

This Is A Joke, Right?
"If I had a girlfriend and I rely on the BroApp, it would be like the BroApp is dating my girlfriend. Could you even imagine if someone's girlfriend found out that he was using the BroApp? It takes away from the relationship being genuine and this BroApp makes it more automated," says Marty, 22

"It's not a good app because what if the text you scheduled doesn't make sense to send if your girlfriend is trying to have a conversation. I'm assuming you're scheduling for an hour later or more when you're drunk or something and wouldn't be able to text," says Sean, 23.

"I feel as though the compliments would be empty; not as meaningful. Plus, it seems like it insinuates a cover up if you're cheating in a relationship," says Brice, 23

What do you think about BroApp? Tell us your thoughts in the comments below.

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Here's What Happens When You Rent A Boyfriend In China For $264

"He looked like he could be the world's nicest guy, or canniest serial killer." Ever wonder what a date with a rented boyfriend was like? You've come to the right place.

We told you earlier this week about the rising popularity of MyGirlFund, a site where men can have virtual relationships with women they'll never meet. And who could forget Rent A Gent? The site where, you guessed it, you can hire a guy to take you to dinner, wash your dishes and fix the TV.

Everywhere you look it seems like there's a fake significant other who can meet your needs.

More from YourTango: 5 Dark Secrets Of So-Called 'Happy' Couples

What happens when you need a boyfriend for the day? There's a site that's got you covered. Melanie Lee, a blogger for Alibaba gave Taobao, a Chinese online marketplace with a Rent-A-Boyfriend section, a whirl. And, lucky for us, she spilled her story (with photos!) to Business Insider.

Here's what you must know about how her daylong "date" went down.

His Look:
When she met her BF for the day she described the 30-year-old as average. "To me he looked like he could be the world's nicest guy, or canniest serial killer." Which in the world of fake companions, sounds about right.

His Price:
How much would you pay for a temporary boyfriend? Of course, that depends what you need him for. For many women in China, the pressure to have a significant other is so great that they use this service to find men to accompany them when they visit their families. Depending on the family, I could see women spending a fortune on fake beaus to quiet overbearing parents and nosy cousins around the holidays. While Melanie and her rented guy didn't visit her family, she paid "more than the average monthly income for a Chinese family" for her date.

What Did He Come With?
For $264 (1,500 yuan), the hired BF came with his undivided attention for a day. However, kissing, hand-holding and "other dodgy physical contact" were not included.

Their Interactions:
The faux duo started off sitting as far apart from each other as two people possibly could in a taxi to eventually coming close together for a photo. (He put his arm around Melanie!) Though, he wasn't too chatty. Melanie says when the conversation slowed down, they both pulled out their phones and texted friends.

What Did They Do?
During their daytime date, the "couple" toured the city of Hangzhou. They took a boat tour, ate and visited Lingyin Temple, a Buddhist temple.

His Personality:
Melanie described her day-long BF as distant — not the charming lad she had expected. As the date went on and the ice cream fondue was flowing, he opened up about his dating history, and even the pressures he faces in China to find love. "Men are expected to have a lot of money before they start the search for a wife and women face a lot of pressure to get married young. If you are like me, nearly 30 with not a lot of money, your chances to marry soon are low, " he told his fake date. He mentioned his only longterm relationship ended after he lost his savings in the Shanghai stock market.

His Job:
Even though the BF for hire doesn't think he'll find love on the job because no one would ever take him seriously, his job pays the bills and lets him travel. Normally, he's hired by single women to fend off family members but he's even played the role of entertaining mistresses when their men are out of town. 

Final Thoughts:
Melanie says he wasn't too chatty but he did shed some more light on the pressures men also face in China to find The One.

And, if you ask us, this first date was filled with "don'ts". The hired BF mentioned his ex, texted on the date and brought up money issues. But hey, he's fake — the rules are may be different for rented dates. 

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Boyfriend issues.. fantasy / online

Hey,

My boyfriend and I met almost a year ago on okcupid and after only speaking briefly decided to meet in person and totally hit it off. It's been a whirlwind, and it's been the best love I've ever been in. We have sooooo much fun together, and we love each other's families, etc. It's basically perfect.

We are different personality types (I am a capricorn and he is a cancer) so naturally he keeps a lot to himself. I have had a weird feeling though, since the beginning. I have really good intuition and I can sense things and since being together I have sensed he has had a hidden agenda online.

It's now at the point where I'd love to move forward with him
In the future but something is off.

He's sneaky about his phone and conversations and shares little with me in terms of sexual fantasy. I'm very open and sexual and I love porn so I'm always probing him to share more with me but he rarely does.

I definitely crossed the line, but I looked through his phone to find what kind of porn he likes so I could satisfy him to another level (valentines day is right around the corner). What i came across was shocking and it led me to look further and I'm scared of what I've discovered.

I looked in his history and found a ton of bbw porn. Which is cool, everyone has their thing. But I looked further and realized it's more like forums and stuff, which requires accounts, etc. I then looked at his skype which I've seen him use in the past and wondered why (all his friends live in the same city , etc) and there always seemed to be a lot of convos. But I brushed it off and figured maybe all his friends use it or something. I looked this morning, he is having weird sexual conversations with multiple people about food in a dirty sexual way. It's very confusing. He is having conversations with these girls about how sexy they look, requesting pics, asking them to talk dirty, etc. It makes me sad because he rarely says those things to me and I mean, I'm a decent looking young female with good style.

It's a sensitive topic and I didn't want to reach out to friends but I desperately need advice.

Do I confront him? What would I even say? What should I be feeling?

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Boyfriend Material: 7 Reasons You Need To Date A Divorced Guy

According to Patti Stanger, divorced men are a "girl's best kept secret". Here's why you shouldn't throw in the towel on a guy just because his past involves a divorce.

With the divorce rate hanging around the 50 percent mark, there's a decent chance that at some point in your life you'll find yourself smitten with a divorced guy and you'll be faced with the decision of whether or not dating him is a good idea. While it may seem a little shady at first— especially if he has extra baggage like kiddos — divorced men sometimes have more to offer than guys who have never taken the plunge.

According to the Millionaire Matchmaker, Patti Stanger, divorced men are a "girl's best kept secret".

More from YourTango: What Women Really Think ... Of Tinder

Well, we're letting the secret out now. Here's why.

1. He believes in serious, longterm commitment.
Although it may have not worked the first time around, the fact that he did get married shows that he believes in commitment. That’s a big deal in a society that's becoming more and more disillusioned with marriage.

2. The sex is awesome.
Statistically, married couples have sex less than those who aren’t hitched. According to The Social Organization of Sexuality, 80 percent of married couples only have sex a few times a month. If that was the case in his past relationship, just think about how buck wild he'll be in the sack now that he's with someone who wants to do it all the time, or at least more than his ex-wife.

3. He "gets" it.
He’s been there and done that. He understands about ups and downs, petty arguments, and the struggles that come with a serious relationship. It's not easy to keep things smooth sailing at all times, and just because his marriage didn't work out, it doesn't mean he's not up to the challenge to do it again.

4. Insta-family.
If you're cuckoo for babies, but aren't ready to have a few of your own, then a divorced guy who has a kid or two will give you the baby-fix you're looking for without overwhelming you and crowding your style.

5. He's housebroken.
I'm definitely not one to equate men with dogs, even when they're being the absolute worst, but Stanger says, "Divorced men come already housebroken. Another woman has done the hard work of teaching him to put the seat down, call when he's late, and tread lightly during a bad week." Good point, and definitely a plus.

6. He has his ducks in a row.
Having been married and then divorced, he's not only had his fair share of drama, both good and bad, but he's probably had ample opportunity to do some soul-searching. A man, who knows who he is and what he wants, is always a catch.

7. He's learned from his mistakes.
As with any relationship that has failed, romantic or otherwise, lessons are always learned. A divorced guy who signed up for the long haul, but didn’t quite make it can probably stare his mistakes in the face and realize how not to make them again.

Takeaway? Don't throw in the towel on a guy just because his past involves a divorce. Relationships start and end everyday, and if we didn't give people a chance just because they have a breakup under their belt, then we'd totally miss out on the potential for something great.

Have anything to add to the list? Tell us in the comments below.

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Boyfriend lost his job, his everything, how should I help?

Name's Jessica, 20, Illinois resident.

I've been dating my boyfriend, Nate, for roughly 6 months. We both graduated same year, but never developed further than pleasant acquaintances. Frankly, guys, I thought he had unwarranted self-autocracy, and preferred he kept himself subdued. But I guess you can't help who you love.

Nate posted on a social network looking for help with his job. After two years of non-communication, I responded desperately seeking a source for extra income. He gave me the low down: he works as a handicap van technician stationed out in Ohio, and he needed an additional person to help deliver a van to a customer. We went on many road trips, some as far out as Massachusetts. Although I'd love to indulge in the very strange details and evolution of our relationship, I'll resist and stick to the facts as I am seeking beneficial, objective advice. First, you should be aware that I love Nate to his core, including his heresy, hypocrisies, and short-comings; my love shrouds his entirety, although I am fearful.

Nate's job requires him to drive all throughout the Midwest and occasionally to the east coast. The bulk of his work is driving and 20% is actually fixing the ramps that are installed into these handicap vans. Nate received his job right after high school. Please note that he only had his driver's license for 3 months, and had no qualifications as a technician. Nate was recommended for this job by his uncle. However, Nate is very diplomatic and had a decent mind for mechanics and was hired. This job was a heaven-sent: salaried position, self-governed schedule, cross country driving, and a company credit card.. if you know what I mean

Despite these favoring conditions, Nate found himself relentlessly afflicted by his job. He was forced to live in Toledo, Ohio torn away from his family and friends living in Illinois. He would try ever trick in the book to find a way to return to Illinois, and successfully did so by recruiting delivery drivers (in other words, his Illinois buddies). However, this crafty business maneuver did not exactly sit well with the company he worked for: it was not cost effective. Yet, his company was in a bind since they could not hire, nor retain, an additional employee strictly for deliveries since the workload was ridiculously inconsistent. Nor could the company afford a flat bed trailer to haul the vans. So, Nate had his way and was able to visit Illinois on a semi-consistent basis on the company dollar.

Nate has always been walking on thin ice with his company due to these type of business moves, but it is not as though the company was offering a different solution. Please note that Nate drives a company pickup truck. This was all great and dandy until the company installed a location tracker into the truck to record his whereabouts and mileage. Beforehand, he would use the company truck for leisure and personal use, which immediately stopped. This wasn't a big concern, just simply unfavorable since his personal truck doesn't even start.

Throughout his two years working with this company, I believe his job molded him into the man he is today. He understands that with great freedom comes great responsibility. At every turn, Nate has been faced with great burdens of responsibility. I.E. the safety required while driving a company vehicle, the weight of correctly installing mechanisms that lock in wheelchairs to prevent anyone from being injured in a car accident, the decision making of company money and the documentation that follows, adamantly following the legality involved in paperwork and title transfers and the works. Nate has always been very aware, verbal and stern about his responsibilities. He asks me how could he avoid thoughts of the weight his job duties provide while being on the road for hours and hours and hours.

More than the weight of consequence, Nate found himself distressed by his position in life. He realized that this was it, this was the job he will have until he retires. He will be traveling for long hours and for extended periods of time on the same ol' interstates. How could he maintain a home life, or sustain his white picket fence dream? How would he even be able to find someone to love traveling all the time? He realized he could not quit his job for fear of being a disappointment to his family and friends. For God's sake, he was practically granted this job. Who would hire an eighteen-year-old who's had his license for 3 months and zero technical training, and has him travel cross country to be the face and voice of their business? Nate realized that if he quit, he would be the most ungrateful little **** and the thought alone sickened him. He wasn't deserving of his job, but he maintained his position out of fear of failure. He was unhappy. He realized that in ten years, his buddies would be educated with degrees under their belts while Nate would just be behind the wheel as a handicap van technician. Right now, his status is above his age group, but only temporarily. His personal cell phone was a link to his customers, and he will always receive calls regarding work at non-opportune, bothersome times. He was faced with the dread of knowing that his life must take root in Ohio. For anyone who hasn't been to Ohio, it's drab and mostly industry based. He was faced with the dread that his salary was basically at its cap and his position hardly had opportune for growth. Basically, at the age of 20, his fate was right in front of him at all times.

Now, Nate's work history with his company isn't exactly the cleanest. In March, his uncle—who recommended him for the job—had passed away. Nate was devastated. He ended up quitting on the fly, but quickly recovered his rationale and spoke to the CEO stating it was an emotionally distressed decision. The company sympathesized and gave Nate leniency. After that mistake, Nate knew he was secured into his job because he was not going to allow himself to let that happen again. Without his uncle here, Nate had lost his role model. He lost the man that trusted and had good faith in Nate's capabilities. Nate lost the man that tied him to his job. Nate has never been so afflicted.

Now to the actual problem. Throughout his employment, Nate has lost the company credit card twice. Earlier this week, Nate last the company card for the third time. When he called to cancel and reissue the card, his boss told him that they will be looking for a replacement technician and will give him a 90 day notice after recruiting them. Nate was destroyed after hearing this, but had anticipated the worst since he has always felt he was on thin ice with his company.

It's been a few days since this has occurred. I know that Nate could manage to redeem himself, not through begging or pleading, but through recognition of how he bends over backwards for the company and how great his customer relations are; however, Nate seems to be reluctant to reinstate his worth to the company. He doesn't appear to be relieved at all, but just dazed by the fact. We talked just a week prior about how his job title is not who he is and I love him for everything with or without his job. But Nate is not interested in furthering his education, he tells me he would be complacent with a dead end job that at least guarantees he'll be in his own bed at night. I want to see my baby happy, but I feel completely repulsed and unsettled about this news. Maybe it's the fear that I just simply don't know what is going to come of this.

I asked a stranger for advise. They asked me what I wanted to happen. I said I want him to be happy, but my rationale tells me that letting this job slip away will only bring temporary happiness, and will actually create a whole slew of unsolicited problems. I ask myself if I want him to keep his job out of vain since I enjoy the times I get to travel with him, which is never for the sights (c'mon it's the flatlands), but because I get to be with my love and it creates some strange semblance that we're going somewhere, which does something for my restless mind. I also think it's out of vain because now that his job loss is a very real prospect, I sit here and think that maybe I've been so contended with my boyfriend because he's been a success... or a larger success than myself. Then I think about the excitement of possibilities that arise after the fact, because I know my boyfriend will do wonderful things no matter what his job is. Then I go back and think realistically and become disgusted by the thought of his smugness with a dead end job when he is worth so much more. I ended up rambling like this to the stranger and they told me that I had one of two options: let him be a man and make his own decisions, or make him the man he ought to be and make the decision for him. Please! Anyone, someone, what should I do?

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12 Signs Your Phone Is Your Boyfriend

Never leave me? Are you in a serious relationship with your smartphone?

Did you know that half of women in a recent survey said they would rather give up sex for a month than lose their phones for that long? It sounds outrageous, but let's be honest — we all know more than a few people who are positively glued to their phones (you might even be one of them!).

Want to know if you're in deep with your own handheld boyfriend? Here are a few signs.

2. You go shopping for its presents all the time.
New apps, new cases, new music, you're all about pampering your honeypie. Except your honeypie is a phone, and you're spending more money on it this holiday season than the rest of your loved ones.

http://perezhilton.com/tag/thrift_shop/#sthash.Ck3od3fh.dpbs

10. Progressing your relationship has gotten time-consuming.
What with all the constant updating and the occasional freezeouts where nothing seems to work between the two of you, this relationship has become more stress than you thought it would. You find yourself crowdsourcing friends and family for their best advice.

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11. You get furious when your phone runs out of battery
How could you? When I needed you most ...

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12. But no matter how angry you get, this still gives you butterflies
Each and every time.

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Have anything to add to the list? Tell us in the comments belwo.

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Boyfriend Texting and FB Messaging Ex

Hi everyone. I have been dating my boyfriend for a year now. We are in a long distance relationship and I did a horrible thing and looked through his cell phone. I saw that he has been texting an ex (a girl he met online who lives in another country and has a 2 year old son from some other guy). I confronted him about this when he openly told me that he had Skyped with her one day. I told him it bothered me that he was still in touch with her and Skyping with her. Then I saw that he has been saying hello to her on Facebook, but she hasn't been responding. She isn't writing back, but he occasionally writes "hi." That is all. He says "hi" and she never writes back.

He even txted her "hi" 7 days ago and she never responded. Why would he want to keep saying "hi" to someone who never writes back? I don't get it. I don't get his need to be in touch with her either. Should I confront him and let him know that I know he is trying to reach out to her? I am so confused.

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Did Having A Boyfriend In Middle School Ruin Your Life?

Did you have a middle school boyfriend? New research finds that middle school puppy love may spell out doom for our futures.

Remember when you were in middle school and you had a crush on the cute boy in your class? You snuck notes during homeroom and made out behind the bleachers and it all seemed like perfectly innocent puppy love, remember?

Well, dating in middle school may have just been the thing that screwed up your life.

That's because according to new research: "Students who date in middle school have significantly worse study skills, are four times more likely to drop out of school and report twice as much alcohol, tobacco and marijuana use than their single classmates."

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Sounds harsh. Pamela Orpinas, a professor from the College of Public Health at the University of Georgia, followed the lives of 600-plus students from sixth grade up to high school graduation. Each school year, the students answered a questionnaire about their dating experiences and researchers tracked how their experience (or lack thereof) corresponded with their academic performance and use of drugs or alcohol.

"Some students never or hardly ever reported dating from middle to high school, and these students had consistently the best study skills according to their teachers," Orpinas says. "Other students dated infrequently in middle school, but increased the frequency of dating in high school. We also saw a large number of students who reported dating since sixth grade."

Children in these early dating groups were twice as likely to use alcohol and drugs. "Dating a classmate may have the same emotional complications of dating a co-worker," Orpinas says. “When the couple splits, they have to continue to see each other in class and perhaps witness the ex-partner dating someone else. It is reasonable to think this scenario could be linked to depression and divert attention from studying."

Based off her study, Orpinas suggests that dating shouldn't be considered a rite of passage in middle school.

More from YourTango: 30 People We Wouldn't Want To Date

Apparently, I beat the odds.

I met my fiancé in middle school. (You can read all about our sappy pizza-centric love story here. That would make him the only serious boyfriend I’ve ever had in my whole life. We both went on graduate high school — and then college — without a whole lot of drama.

So does this mean that our middle school relationships spell out doom for our futures? Keep Reading ...

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35 and never had a boyfriend

Hi,
I have a bizarre problem. I'm 35 and I've never had a boyfriend. I dated a couple of guys in my 20s but things never went very far. I always thought I would meet someone naturally but didn't. I recently moved to a small town and am awfully lonely. I tried signing up for online dating and went out on a couple of dates with guys who I did not find attractive at all. Should I try match.com? How do I meet people?

The best way to meet people that you might have a future with is to do things that you enjoy. Join a group or a club for something you like and start conversations with the people there, make new friends and they'll introduce you to more people and it will keep increasing! I don't have much experience with online dating sites, but if you joined one and you were at least semi-satisfied with the results, or you think it has potential, I say go for it! Taking the first step by making yourself available to people is probably the most helpful way to make sure you meet the kind of people that you'll actually have a future with -- making an effort is the biggest problem most people have.

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3 Things To Consider Before Sleeping With Your Boyfriend [EXPERT]

How long can you wait? Before you hop in the sack, check out what the latest research has to say about premarital sex.

It's no surprise that most people engage in premarital sex, but one new study found that even if we look at surveys going back for decades, we see the same prevalence of the behavior.

More from YourTango: Dating & Drinking Etiquette: 4 Rules To Live By [EXPERT]

Very few people actually wait until marriage to have sex — less than 10%, according to Lawrence Finer, research director at the Guttmacher Institute. That's been going on since the 1950s, contrary to the common belief that couples were more chaste back then.

Yes, it's normal to have sex before marriage, meaning that almost everyone does it. After all, there are few things more tempting than the urge to make love with the new guy you're falling madly in love with. But is it healthy?

As with all great questions, the answer is: it depends. Here are the factors that make this normal behavior either healthy — or not — for you and your relationship.

1. Age at first sexual experience. A new study from the University of Texas at Austin suggests that individuals who have their first sexual experience later than average may have more satisfying romantic relationships in adulthood. According to the study, individuals who waited to have sex beyond age 19 reported less conflict, more enjoyment, and greater love and affection with their partners.

The younger you are when you have sex for the first time the less likely you are to have stable relationships later in life. Because teenage relationships are inherently unstable (how can you know who you want to be with for the rest of your life at age 16?), most of them break up, often abruptly. The resulting trauma tends to be lasting because you are not yet as emotionally resilient as you will be as an adult.

The other risk with teenage sex is learning unhealthy patterns of relating. Due to the immaturity of partners at that age, it's likely that you will ride the emotional roller coaster up and down with the drama of being "on" one week and "off" the next. This creates highs and lows not unlike the ones associated with drug use. Because the brain is still forming as a teenager, you can cement an impression that this is "normal" for relationships, causing you to seek partners later in life with whom you re-create that instability. Sometimes that leads to a syndrome called Love Addiction.

Last, but not least, young people tend to be less informed about sexual health, resulting in teen pregnancies and the transmission of STDs. The bottom line is this: do your best to put off being sexual until at least age nineteen, for the best overall life and relationship outcomes. Regardless of the age at which you begin having sex, the next piece of advice will help you make better decisions about your sexual relationships.

More from YourTango: Overcoming Infidelity: 6 Tips To Make It Work [EXPERT]

2. How long you date your partner before having sex. The longer you date before having sex, the more likely you will get to the stage of emotional commitment prior to being sexual. Studies show that the higher the level of commitment, the greater the overall relationship satisfaction. That finding is especially true for women.

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My Boyfriend Hates Me: Long Term Relationship Advice

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SEE MORE VIDEOS ASK YOURTANGOASK A QUESTION NOW MORE QUESTIONS The 16 Worst Kissers In Hollywood (College Candy)

Community Subscribe to Community Blog By tvvjackson. Posted on Aug 28th 2012.

Are you tried of crying at every song that comes on the radio and not being able to sleep?

My Boyfriend Heats Me Long Term Relationship Advice Have you called every single friend in your phone book and even consulted family members about the fact that your boyfriend hates you right now? What have you gotten in return? Probably no good advice and it has just left you more confused and led you down a path of confusion anger depression because you have no clue or understanding why he feels the way he does. At first you didn’t blame yourself because you were 100% sure that you done nothing wrong, but now since you have tried to make up and apologize for whatever it is that made him mad, and after nothing had worked you are left with blaming yourself for having your relationship fail on you. Very important that you don’t blame yourself or him, you must stay calm in this situation grab some level ground or else they will stay mad forever and you won’t be able to regain their love and the relationship will end forever. This will help you not lose them forever I know it’s so hard to stay calm when every time you close your eyes you see him, you remember all the good times and it just makes you cry and yell, when you sleep at night you toss and turn because you wonder if they will ever get over the way they feel and if there is anything that you can do to stop this relationship from falling apart. Everything you do makes you think of them, which makes it so hard to stay calm because you’re in such an emotional state right now, but if you over react to your emotions you will be certain that you won’t get your boyfriend back and the relationship will end for good. There is some reason they are upset at you, the crazy part is it may not even have anything to do with you what so ever.. Let me explain what that means. Your boyfriend hates you right now, but why does he hate you? Even if you did nothing wrong and the next day he just started acting like this blowing you off not talking to you, and telling you he is mad but he never really said he was mad at just you. Your emotions allowed you to think that his anger and his emotions were directed at you only which may not be the case. There is a good chance that something In his past may have set him off, or maybe one of his friends had put something in his thought process which is making him act this way toward you. You must be able to know how to handle their emotions right now and keep your emotions in tact or else they will just go deeper in their anger and stay away forever. You can get your boyfriend to stop being mad at you by simply defusing their emotions and getting them to see that you’re not the target, once you do this the right way they will calm down and come back to you saying sorry and flocking in to your arms. Your boyfriend doesn’t want to me mad but they have no reason how to stop being mad and as soon as you are able to talk to them where they would understand and look at them self’s this will resolve all this heart ache and pain you been dealing with. Once you have made them see that there is no reason to be mad at you, then you can go back to sleeping at night be able to close your eyes and not cry and think about how you might lose your boyfriend forever, you can now be held by them every night. See this next step how to get them to stop being mad at you. Go To Next Step

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Boyfriend won't wear pants in relationship

Hello,
I've been dating my boyfriend for over two years now. I'm 22 he's 26. We've had our ups and downs but I'd be lying if I said I didn't love the kid. But there lies our biggest issue - he's 26 years old and I still refer to him as a kid.
A little background info - my boyfriend is head over heels in love with me, refers to me as the girl of his dreams, etc. I've never had any guy feel that way about me, so naturally I was attracted to that. He's a funny, attractive guy who, at least at the beginning of our relationship, made me feel like a princess. Nowadays, he will still talk to me like I'm his perfect girl, but he is not contributing anything to this relationship anymore. And by contributing, as sad as it is for me to say, I mean money. As in, he hasn't paid for ANYTHING for weeks. Food, groceries, drinks, nothing. He is currently jobless, has been jobless for about 4 months, and JUST started looking for a job maybe about two weeks ago. Needless to say job searching isn't going well, because he has no ambition to do anything. He's too scared to apply places, he will sit at his computer for maybe an hour a day and apply places online (which btw he still hasn't heard anything back) and then proceed to play video games or hang out. This means that me, a part-time waitress who already is making no money, has to spend all my money on us and our relationship. It's been going on like this for months. I'm at a breaking point. We faced a similar situation about six months ago and I ended up going crazy and breaking up with him, we were broken up for about a month during which time he seemed to get his life back in order. He was working out, being healthy, working full-time, and making new friends, all to try to win me back. Needless to say it worked, but as soon as we got back together things started to go back to the way they were. I'm heartbroken it's come to this, I truly am, and I'm constantly stressed and depressed over me dwindling savings. I know that I shouldn't be in this situation, and I'm also helping enable him to act this way, but I honestly just don't know what to do anymore. We've talked about it many times and he apologizes and says he's trying so hard to find a job, but I know he's not, and it makes me feel like he doesn't care about me. I live with my parents a block away from his apartment, so I have no bills to pay, but I'm still dead broke because I'm trying to make sure he's secure and isn't going hungry. I can't move on from living at my parents because I can't get a proper savings going. He hasn't taken me on a date since we started dating again, about SIX MONTHS AGO. I'm going crazy here, and I don't want to freak out again and just break up with him out of nowhere, but I feel like it's leading up to that.
I'm young, motivated, and genuine and I just want to be happy and be in a healthy relationship. But that's not happening. I would give anything to save this relationship but I know it's all up to him now, and he doesn't have much longer to prove to me he's worth sticking around for. I don't really know how to handle this anymore; I don't know if anyone's ever been in a situation like this but I really don't know what next step to take. I just can't keep living like this.

I'm young, motivated, and genuine and I just want to be happy and be in a healthy relationship. But that's not happening. I would give anything to save this relationship but I know it's all up to him now, and he doesn't have much longer to prove to me he's worth sticking around for. I believe you are those things you stated and you deserve to be in a happy and healthy relationship. Your boyfriend isn't motivated. He wants someone to care for him. I'm sorry to say this but he's a bum. Life is too short to waste your time with a bum. He doesn't need a girlfriend, he needs a mommy. I know it's going to hurt but your relationship with him is on borrowed time. I think you know that too. I don't really know how to handle this anymore; I don't know if anyone's ever been in a situation like this but I really don't know what next step to take. I just can't keep living like this. I think you already know what you're going to have to do. You're a good person because I know you don't want to hurt his feelings and you don't want to feel bad for breaking up with the boy. I also believe you already know it's going to happen sooner or later.

Is there anyone you can talk to about this? A friend, a family member? Teacher? Counselor?

I wish you the best. Maybe you can keep in touch. There are some pretty good people here that can offer encouragement.

I agree with the "mommy" statement Jedediah said above...that he wants a mom, not a girlfriend. He may be a great guy, and I'm sure you care very much for him, but if he's 26 and unemployed and unmotivated, and you're basically being bled bone-dry here, why stay in it? You deserve to be taken care of, or at least treated as an equal, not as a (for lack of a better term) "sugar mama".

Definitely give it some thought, but it doesn't sound like he's putting his best foot forward here to make the situation better for you two as a couple.

My friends call me "The Love Guru" (but nothing like Mike Myers!).

If you're looking for dating tips, I've got some awesome recommendations!
Online Daters
"Real Life" Dating for Men
"Real Life" Dating for Women

For everything else, I'm just gonna give you my personal opinion, and you'll just have to like it! Just kidding, but I'll do my best.

I agree! You are older than him and I guess he just likes that mom figure in his life. He is young, so you can't expect much. I was reading a story about a certain celebrity who only seems to be attracted older women. And someone mentioned his mother was never a motherly figure in his life, she was like a stage mom instead actually being mother. He looks for the love he didn't receive by his mother in older women. Maybe that's his problem.

Last edited by nash22; 08-18-2012 at 04:57 AM.

I've been in a similar position myself, so I can empathise. I confronted my ex about it, and things got better for about a month. He made an effort, helped me in the house, cooked, did laundry and stuff, and said he'd start looking for work. He never actually started looking for work, and fairly soon, he stopped helping me with anything, and was more concerned with things like gaming, and things like Second Life. He didn't seem overly concerned about the actual life he had with me.

Since I'd already asked him to try, and that dwindled within the month, I ended up leaving. He begged me to come back, he even started making an effort, but it was too little too late, as far as I was concerned. If I'd have stayed, I'd have been enabling him all over again, and that's too draining, and not at all fair.

To be honest, he's probably not going to change. You shouldn't be supporting him to live in his own place, he should be looking after himself. The only real way to get him to do that, is walk away. He's not going to grow up, until he realises he has to do things for himself.

It's funny. I had to re-read the post. You're the younger one in this relationship? It seems he wants to be taken care of like a child. You can't do that in a relationship. You should both be contributing. You can start to resent him. He is the one who can fix this. You can't make him stand up and grow up. He has to do it for himself.

Thank you for all the great advice, I kinda know what I have to do now. Time to find a guy who doesn't have mommy issues.

MOA (move on already)! You can't change a person to be who you want. And if a person has to change in order for you to be happy with him, and he hasn't shown any interest or motivation in changing, you're wasting your time staying with him. Don't wait until you have another guy lined up; make a clean break now and focus on yourself for a while.

Nice post Evilsprinkles i think i can help you more..
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I agree fully that its time to leave him. I've been in that situation where my guy was picking up small work like cutting grass and doing erands for people (no set hrs or gurenteed good pay), carless, and living with granny- great guy and great personality but I kept breaking up because he wasnt as drivin as myself. Your situation is exactly the same and I had to realize that him not being on my level- ambitious and wanting the best for myself- was always going to cause problems and draw us apart. You need someone who wants better and is going for better.

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