OK, Where Is Prince Charming & Why Is He Hiding?

From all of the bad relationships that we've been in, you would think that it would be easier to weed out all of the jerks in the dating game. But for some reason, we keep falling for different guys who play the same tricks and it's getting really frustrating. Why is it so hard to find a genuine guy who isn't interested in playing games? Mr. Right, where are you right now — Is your bus just running late?

Sometimes, the constant let down of a date gone wrong can make it seem like there's something wrong with us. But that isn't true at all. Dating expert Dr. Karin Anderson says that it's totally normal to feel this way. When we see all of our friends pairing off and getting married, our natural instincts are going to make us wonder when it's going to be our turn. Come on, Prince Charming — What are we, chopped liver? When it comes to finding the right guy, the struggle is so real out there. That's why Dr. Anderson believes that taking ourselves down and trying to figure out what we're doing wrong does nothing to help our situation or speed up the process. She couldn't be more right. We can't control love; we seriously need to just let it happen and enjoy the ride.

More love advice from YourTango:

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Where should I go from here?

First off I apologize for the length. I am just really confused.
I started talking to this girl last August because we sat next to each other in a class(we are seniors). We got closer and closer and by November I realized I really liked her. In the beginning of December, I came out and told her how I felt. She responded by telling me how she did like me too but was not looking for a serious relationship at the time because she had been hurt by other guys and was playing it safe and felt we should get to know each other better so she could be sure. She ended the conversation by telling me "I hope you understand I am not crossing out the future between us".

Well I spent the remainder of December really trying to win her over and it honestly seemed like it was working. We were talking all day everyday, she began being a lot more open with me, and we were really starting to get to know each other better. She had even told what these past guys had done to her. Her first official boyfriend spiked her drink and sexually assaulted her after prom sophomore year( he was a senior) and was physically abusive to her the whole time they were together and the last guy she was with was psychologically abusive and cheated on her twice while she was in the hospital for a month and told her after she found out "I do not have to worry about you cheating on me because you are all screwed up and nobody would ever want you anyway." and just always made her feel worthless. I understood she has been through a lot but I always reassured her that I was different and that I genuinely cared for her and always told her I would always be there for her. I never made any physical moves on her though because I still was not sure exactly how she felt and exactly where I stood in her life.

But she randomly started to become distant with me at the beginning of January, winter break, (stopped responding to texts and began backing out or not following through on plans we made) and our relationship just kinda died out within those two weeks. We went back to school on January 13th and sit next to each other in two classes. Our relationship has rekindled into a close friendship and nothing more. We hang out outside of school sometimes with a group of friends and we text more often but nowhere near what it was like. Often times too, I find myself being used by her and find myself always trying to make her happy whenever possible.

My problem is that I still really like her and she has been on my mind everyday since the day I told her how I felt. Unfortunately for me she has since seriously talked to one other guy (at the time when she started to become distant with me) but that ended because she has a sickness, the one she was in the hospital for, he felt he could not handle(which has never been and never will be a problem for me and she knows that) and ended things with her(I know this because she told me) and it kinda seems like she has a thing now with a friend of mine but she denies it to everybody. (Keep in mind this is after she told me she was not looking for a relationship). We even had one interesting conversation two weeks ago when she texted me at 1 in the morning asking me why I used to like her. SO at that instant I realized she thought my feelings for her left. I responded to her by first reassuring her that I still liked her and then gave her basically an essay on why I like her. It seemed a little weird why she would ask so I also called her out on why she was asking me. When she responded, she totally avoided the part about me still liking her and that the reason she asked was because she had finally come to the realization that her last boyfriend(the mentally abusive one) was not good for her and the he could never tell her why he liked her and after the last guy she was talking to ended things because of her sickness, she asked me and a few of her friends why we like her so she could reassure herself that it was "personality that mattered most".

With us just being good friends after the "past" we have, does it seem like I am just forever going to be a good friend or could it ever turn into something more? I Know I am not just another one of her casual friends because I met her parents last week when I went to her house to help them move houses and her parents knew everything about me before we had even met so obviously she talks about me with her parents(who, especially her mom, LOVE me by the way).

We went from friends, to close friends, to more than close friends but not together in a relationship, to two weeks of no contact, to close friends again. Ultimately, I just want to be with her but I do not want to waste any more time if it will never happen.

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Where Can I Meet Great Men?

Are you sick of being disappointed over and over again in the dating scene? Wondering where to meet great men who are ready for relationship? If so, help is on the way.

In this video, Senior VP of Experts Melanie Gorman sits down with YourTango Experts Kavita Patel, Carmelia Ray, Barbara Becker Holstein and Ronnie Ann Ryan to dish on how to find a guy who could be your life partner.

More from YourTango: After A Bad Breakup, How Do I Get Back Out There And Date Again?

All of the experts agree that finding a true match starts with your openness to meet new people. "That's the purpose of dating: to meet men and weed through," says Ronnie Ann Ryan, "and find someone you're compatible with and someone you like."

Want to learn more? Check out the video above!

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Where Should You Meet Men? 5 Factors To Consider [EXPERT]

Looking for love? Are you trying to meet Mr. Right?

I got an email from a colleague about a friend who wanted to enter the dating world after her recent divorce. She wanted to know the best places she could meet single men. I told her that it's not a one-size-fits-all formula. Much of it depends on the individual.

More from YourTango: The Dos & Don'ts Of Traveling With A Singles Group [EXPERT]

For each of my clients, I create an individually crafted dating plan. In order to find love, the following ingredients ought to be considered:

1. Your personality. Are you an extrovert, comfortable in large groups? Do you meet people easily? Or are you shy and reserved? Do you feel more comfortable in smaller groups? If it's the latter, online dating may be your best bet.

2. Your energy level. Are you an energetic person who is always on the go? Or are you someone who needs downtime especially after a day's work?

3. The time of year. Where you meet a potential love interest depends on the time of year. The best time for online dating is January and Febraury. During spring, summer and early fall biking and hiking groups are popular ways to meet singles.

4. Your work situation. I take into account my clients' work life when creating their dating plan. Are you with people all day in a very busy, hectic environment (think sales manager of a retail store) or are you working all day by yourself on a computer as a software developer?

5. Your interests. Of course you want to meet people who share your interests. It may not be a deal breaker if your partner doesn't like bird-watching, however, it would be an added bonus if you do share this interest with your special person.

More from YourTango: 5 Ways To Revamp Your Online Dating Strategy This Year [EXPERT]

What do you take into account when you are deciding where to go to meet singles? What has worked best for you? Sound off in the comments!

More dating advice from YourTango:

Author, Dating Coach, Life Coach, Relationship Coach, Speaker/Presenter

Amy Schoen, MBA, CPCC

http://www.motivatedtomarry.com/

Illuminating Your Path to Finding Lasting Love

I work with marriage minded individuals who are ready to take charge of their dating efforts and learn a system of how to meet people who share their values so that they can find the right one and have the family life they so desire.

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Where do i go from here?

Hi guys and girls, give you a brief understanding of the situation. Theres a girl i like, ive known her for a while but she had a bf. She pm messaged me about a week ago and we met up in town on crimbo eve and shared a kiss in the taxi and shes not the haw type. We've been texting each other for about 5 days now and i arranged to meet up with her some time this week, only problem is that she hasnt responded. I put amongst other stuff ' did you still fancy meeting up this week? Be nice to see you again? She put 'Yeh that would be good, what eves are you free' Then i put 'Awesome im free tue wed and fri, when did you fancy?' Bearing in mind i text her in the morning as she had text me at night and i fell as sleep although i did apologize . Been a whole day and a half now, should i text her again tomorrow and say 'Hey how are you? Are you up to much tonight? Fancy going for a drink?

Not sure what to do people, some girls like to be pursued, is she expecting me to come up with a date and is that why she hasnt text me back? So in essence. Is she playing hard to get? Does she want me to pursue her? Shall i text her tonight or tomorrow about going for a drink tomoz night? Or maybe arrange one for next week? Or do i need to wait for her to text me, as i have the feeling she wont text me with a date? Please help me people

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Where To Find Sexy Men (Or Where Do Sexy Men Hang Out?)

Want to know where to find a great guy? Ditch the bars & look right in your own neighbourhood.

You know you are a great catch, but sometimes it's hard to find places to meet great, sexy men. Besides the old stand-bys like bars and restaurants, finding places where guys congregate can be a challenge. Well, relax and breathe a sigh of relief, because we have done our research to let you know exactly where to find your next date.

1. Take a spin class at your local gym. Our sources say next to weight lifting and the treadmill, sexy guys swear by spinning classes to keep them in shape. The class gives them a great workout without threatening their masculinity. (Many guys still shy away from some workouts such as yoga and aerobics.) So, even though you may love Pilates and your dance workout class, mix in a spinning class or two a week. You may like what you see as you peer over your handle bars.

2. Stop in to check out the merchandise at the computer store. Computers aren't for geeks anymore. Computer shopping is a great way to meet and strike up a conversation with that hottie next to you. Asking his recommendation, or his take on the latest gadget, is an opportunity just begging to happen.

If the studly "Mr. Fix It" sexy guy is more your type, try walking down the electrical aisle in a busy home improvement store. These stores are teaming with guys who jump at the opportunity to help a damsel in distress (to them, that is any woman who needs to tap into their vast knowledge of anything to do with construction or renovations).

3. Dog parks are one of our favorite spots to meet some of the best guys around. If he takes the time to walk and give his dog the attention it deserves, he is likely to have a soft, warm heart. What woman doesn't want that in a man? If you don't have a dog, borrow one. Better yet, volunteer as a dog walker at an animal shelter.

Dogs are natural born matchmakers, often getting their leashes wrapped around other dogs and their owners. If it's an off-leash park, your pooch will make a bee line for others while you follow. Once he picks a playmate with a dog who is owned by Mr. Gorgeous, you're in. Start talking. You can thank your dog with an extra treat or tummy rub once you get home.

4. Take a class, any class, on a topic that is testosterone infused. Some ideas? Car maintenance or repair classes. Karate. Wine or scotch tasting classes. My girlfriend met one of her boyfriends at a masonry class. He approached her, telling her he had never had a classmate who wore such a sexy perfume. (I never knew she liked rocks so much, but once I saw her new boyfriend's bulging muscles, I could see rocks really weren't all that boring.) You get the idea. You will learn something, and meet guys who share a common interest with you. Now that is smart thinking.

Now, roll up your sleeves, get out there, and start the next chapter of your dating adventures. Great men are just waiting to meet you. They just don't know where you are, so it's time to show them you are right where they have been all along. 

Join Norma Germain's fanpage to get more free advice on breakups, divorce, and relationships or read her blog to get inspiration every day to live your best life now.

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"lots of love" and other mixed messages...can't see where this guy is willing to go..

Hi all,

Apologies in advance for the very lengthy story ...
I met this guy (D) two years ago through my work. I live in Belgium and he lives and works in the UK. I work in an international NGO and the company for which he works is amongst our members. So now and then we get to meet. Since our first encounter, he has been very kind to me. Shortly after that first encounter, I helped him fix some hotel bookings for a meeting we were organizing and that he was going to attend. The meeting was a huge 3 day bash in Liechtenstein.On site, at one of the side meetings a guy who hadn't registered for it sort of roughhoused me and D came to the rescue . At that time, I had just been hired after 3 months as a temp and my boss was somewhat snooty with me. D witnessed him snapping his fingers at me during a coffee break and D had been previously told by one of my senior colleagues( who had befriended me since day 1 and who's nickname is Charlie aka "Charlie's angels") that my boss was sort of mobbing me ... so D came to me and asked how could I stand being snapped at? I told him in a jokey tone that my boss was so stressed out he was having hallucinations and was mistaking me for Jeeves ( famous butler character in PG Wodehouse's book)... D burst into laughter and asked how the hell I knew who Jeeves was ...And that's how the story began... during the rest of the 3 days of conferences and evening bashes, he would now and then come to me to start a conversation ... For instance: I was standing almost in front of the chart where all the airport shuttles were stated and he would ask me where the chart was ...and after that asking my help to locate his own schedule.... and so on so forth...We parted in a very friendly way and that was that for 2010 and in fact at the time, I just thought he was kind and very handsome, but not much more as I had just called it quits with my son's father ... and I didn't feel in the mood for flirt at all!
In 2011, we were going to Istanbul and he phoned me again to seek my assistance for hotel bookings, which I gladly gave :-). On site, there was some sort of evolution. I was bumping into him a lot... so much that it didn't look like a coincidence anymore. Every now and then, when I was popping of of our "on site office" bam, I bumped into D who also took the opportunity to make some small talk.... Okay, he needed to pass in front of our office to get to his room but ... :-) If I was carrying something heavy, he would insist on helping me , did I go upstairs by foot, he would follow suite... and even once in the lift, he sort of started flirting... The thing is I have a necklace with a key ( symbol of the hotel concierges:I worked for 7 years as a front desk clerk in a 4**** hotel) and so, when we were alone in the lift, he was intently looking at my necklace and said" very nice key you have there , I wonder where it leads to...", I answered him some gibberish about the key but didn't reply directly to his question. Instead, I asked had he shaved his beard... To which he said: "yep, this morning, do I look any younger ? ( D is 13 years my senior) ... Well, at the time, again , I didn't take any hints ... although I found him very attractive and kind... He was just so above my league (hierarchy wise and also experience, education...)... Arrives 2012 and another big bash is scheduled for April in Belgrade. During the planning stage, I notice there is a cock up in his colleague's flight plan and so I very diplomatically mail his colleague with him in copy. Ensued an incredibly long string of mails where each time he was in cc for info , he answered me ...like he wanted to get the conversation going on... and my, oh , my was I happy to see his mails popping in my inbox! April arrives and I go to Belgrade to be onsite...On the day 0 of the big 3 day bash, shortly after arriving at the hotel, guess who pops up in our "office" , casually enquiring if I was done with my work and was I going to attend the welcome cocktail... At my arrival at the cocktail I get the hint from my very good pal "Charlie" that my arrival had had a tangible effect on D who is tentatively making a beeline towards me in what is supposed to be a nonchalant manner... He tried to start a conversation with me in a casual way but I was so shy all over sudden that I cut the conversation short... later on he eventually caught up with me and we chatted for a bit, the rest of our stay there, I will spare you as it was on the same flirty tone... With D teasing me or paying me compliments ... Upon departure , we said, see you next time with a deadline for a huge conference in Qatar in October, then he said, maybe earlier, sweet wishful thinking .... on both our parts I have to say. Turns out he had to attend a meeting I was organizing for a Committee in Brussels. He had a problem with registering which I fixed and he sent me a short but very nice mail with the others concerned in CC it said: "L, Your'e a star it's Official!". When I saw that email and the ones that followed I was besides myself. He and my two other contacts were taking turns complimenting me ... for things I deem absolutely normal. That day, I befriended him on FB as earlier in Belgrade, he had sort of tried to know whether I was on FB , then, again, I didn't take the hint either ... Within, minutes, he accepted my request and from that day onwards we were communicating now and then via FB. Well, mostly him to begin with... I didn't want to appear too clingy ...then progressively , I also commented on his posts. One day, I posted I was going to go to London and his reaction was really speedy... he immediately proposed a drink ... Which onsite became drinks+supper+stroll along the Thames... seasoned with dollops of compliments on both sides. I had already fallen hard for him, but did my best not show it too much. He was going off on holidays the day after with friends . There , with his gang of dudes, they apparently met some gals and one fell for him. So hard, she is all over him like a rash. Posting things on his wall, left, right and center ... Putting a photo of them both as her profile pic(last week or so) , (when he didn't change anything relevant in his info), 2 weeks ago, I commented on one of his shares because it was unavailable outside the UK, so I was saying , "arrgh too bad" His reaction startled me as I wasn't expecting any reaction on that silly post of mine :-) " Well, There is 1 way to solve that problem:-)" Meaning I guess: "come to London"... I answered a bit too noncommittally as I didn't want him to think I was all over him like the other woman. The he started posting all the gold medal stamps RMG was producing for TeamGB.... In the meantime, we communicated a good deal last weekend and he even thought about my birthday. Last weekend , I received a postcard from him at my home adress. Concluding with "lots of love" when he never ever signed like that before... Just xx . When I thanked him in a FB private message ending with lots of love too , the conclusion of his answer was "I'm glad the card hit home. How sweet... :-). Means he is happy that I answered lots of love too ? guys please help me grasp the bigger picture, I feel like I'm in love with a riddle, an extremely kind and handsome riddle, but a riddle all the same ... Or is it our respective jobs ? or is it the age gap, he is worrying about ... , or am I pushing him away without doing it on purpose... Oh, BTW, when I logged in on FB to thank him, I noticed his groupie had changed her profile pic again and he wasn't in the picture anymore, when he was still in the pic24 hours before? Coincidence?

Am at loss and I really do love him to bits even if I try to appear as cool as a cucumber :-) out of fear of rejection...
By the way, i'm a Leo girl and he's a Libra guy. I'm not in all that astrology thing on a day to day predictions basis but I already noticed you could find some personality similarities in persons who were born at the same period of the year.

Please help me! Advice is strongly needed here

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