20 years old never had a gf PLEASE HELP

people easily feel lost on big campus for sure!! you can definitely try on a few girls if you wish!! if doesn't work, try ask someone in your classroom/when you participate a campus event or join a club something so at least you have something in common with the girl!). if you discover a girl who share the same values with you, that'd be even better!! GOOD LUCK!!

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3 Reasons Your Married Man Will Never Leave His Wife

He probably won't change his mind. You're dating a married man, but if you think he'll be yours one day, guess again.

At least 3 times a week I get an email from women asking me about the married man they're dating. The women are all frustrated because the guy hasn't left his wife, and they want some form of commitment from him.

If you're dating a married man, this going to be a virtual slap in the face, and it's one you need. I'm going to give you 3 reasons you're wasting your life, and why he'll never leave her.

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1. He has everything he needs—Why would he leave his wife and kids? He gets to have amazing sex with you, with no commitment at all. Then he gets to go home and play with his kids. It's the ideal situation for a guy.

He has the wife who feeds him, cleans up after him, and looks after his children, and then he has his lover taking care of him in other ways he needs. He has two girlfriends and everything done for him. He's enjoying it!

2. Divorce is too painful—Think about the repercussions of divorce. There's the hassle of lawyers, the fighting, the upset of the children, the financial burden, and a host of other problems divorce throws up. Why would he put himself and his family through that if he doesn't have to?

You seem happy to see him when he can fit you in, so why would he leave his wife?

3. He'd have left her already—If this guy loved you more than anything, then even with the pain of divorce and the upset of leaving his family, he'd have left her by now. If he wanted to be with you, and if he loved you like you think he does, he'd have already left his family.

Think about it. He hasn't left his wife because he doesn't want to. Simple as that.

So what do you do about it?

Very simply, you give him an ultimatum. What he's doing isn't fair on you, his wife, or his children, and he needs to make up his mind. You need to gather as much strength as you can, look him in the face, and tell him, "I love you. I want to be with you. But I'm not going to do this anymore. I'm not going to see you again until you move out of your home.

"I want to come to your new apartment. I don't want to keep meeting at my place or hotels. The only way you'll see me again is if you text me or call me with the address of your new apartment. I want proof you've left your wife."

Give him this ultimatum and you’ll know where you stand. Are you going to be his partner or will you only ever be, "the other woman"?

You see the "other woman" is never going to succeed. The other woman is never going to get the man. All she's going to do is waste her life waiting for a man who will never be hers. She's missing the chance to find a man who's devoted only to her.

I know women that have done this for four, five, six years even. You need to look at your own emotional needs, wants, and desires. Are you dating a married man because you like to live on the edge? Is it because you don’t want commitment yourself? Maybe you're scared of men hurting you?

A lot of women date married men because they're so afraid of getting out there and meeting men. They have relationships with married guys because deep down they know it's never going to go anywhere. They don't need to leave themselves 100% vulnerable.

Other women just love the chase. They love the drama of trying to win a man who isn't theirs. You need to figure out who you are. My advice is stop being the other woman. It's not fair any of you involved, and you deserve a man of your own!

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Reality Check: Your Love Life Will Never Be Like A Romance Novel

Pfft, love stories are overrated anyway. Stop wishing for Christian Grey to show up. Any guy like him in real life is a creeper.

Written by Natalie Zutter for Bookish

Let's face it: Romance novels tap into the wish-fulfillment part of our brains. The scenarios can be delightfully outlandish, the romantic leads perfect dramatic (and erotic) foils for one another. There are mistaken identities, swordfights for ladies' honor and often unrealistic sex scenes. More often than not, they remind us how mundane our real relationships can be in comparison. We've rounded up all the reasons we wish we were being courted by a fictional character — and one reason we're glad that's not the case.

Romance: He pulls up on a mighty steed or in his sleek car to pick you up for dinner.
Reality: Yeah, so, his car got stolen, but it's OK — it was a piece of crap anyway. Would you mind just taking the subway? Here's enough for one ride — oh, the fare's gone up? Um, you can make up the rest, right?

Romance: The rebellious prince kidnaps you and holds you for ransom in the desert, where you gradually fall in love.
Reality: You're sitting on the couch watching basketball again, and the only thing getting stolen is the ball.

Romance: You switch places with a supermodel and enjoy her fabulous life while worrying that your doppelganger might take advantage of your man.
Reality: When you dye your hair, he squints at you and asks why you look different.

Romance: When an old friend leaves him a dilapidated beach house in his will, your lover abandons his vagabond ways to settle down and save the community.
Reality: He weasels out of visiting your family. Every. Single. Holiday.

Read the rest over at Bookish: Romance vs. Reality: How Life Stacks Up Against 'Fifty Shades' And Other Reads

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10 Things You Should Never Lie To Him About

One thing never to lie about? Your marriage goals. One guy reveals the white lies that hurt.

A little white lie never hurts, right? Well, not exactly.

Sometimes we tell little lies because we don't want to hurt our partner's feelings, but when it comes to dating, honesty is important. And, there's certain things we usually fib about — like how many people we've had sex with or how we really feel about his inner circle — that can be even more hurtful to our guys and our relationships.

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What things should you always be honest about with your man? Our friends at Essence count down the big things you should never lie about.

See the list at Essence: 10 Things Women Should Never Lie to Men About

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Relationship Advice: 5 More Things Your Mom Never Told You

What did your mom forget to tell you about love? ... but you absolutely should know.

Last week, we gave you five things your mom forgot to tell you about love. Turns out, there's a few more things she forgot to mention.

Remember when your mom found your sex ed book and launched into a diatribe about how "heavy petting" (yes, that was a glossary term) is what led to your consummation? No, just me? Well, lucky you, readers. Either way, when it comes to dispensing knowledge on relationships, there are undoubtedly some things dear old mom left out. Hey, it's her job! Now don't tell her we told you, but here are our five more frontrunners:

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1. Timing > Love
It's possible your mother imparted on you the infamous "timing is everything" wisdom, but it's more possible she opted for the far more optimistic: "love conquers all". The fact is, the first one is true, and the second one isn't. There will be people you'll love in your life, who'll also love you, but that doesn't mean they're the "forever" ones. That may be life's biggest lesson: love isn't always enough. And what's more frustrating, you can be extremely compatible with this person, and everything seems so easy like you've always heard it should be — but if someone's not ready to move forward, they just won't. It's like a boulder, you can't move it on your own and you'll exhaust yourself trying, not to mention waste your time. Still, there is a sliver lining: these same people serve a significant purpose in your life, and more importantly, help both shape your character as well as make you realize what you want and need in a partner.

2. Don't, Um, Suck In Bed
Well, my mom actually did tell me this, in a somewhat round about way, but it was so shocking I'm convinced this isn't normal. When I was in high school, she received a wedding invitation in the mail, and informed me the two people getting married were both virgins; then said this verbatim: "Can you imagine? Talk about missionary position forever." It's only now, more than 10 years later, I realize what she really meant was: don't be afraid to experiment a little before locking it down, and especially with your current significant other.

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3. Sex Spells, They're A Thing
What is a sex spell, you ask? It's an unexplainable desire and pull towards someone you'd likely never even be in a serious relationship with, but you're both completely infatuated and bonded to despite little to no rational reason. This doesn't always have to equal great sex (though it almost always does), there's just a natural, almost unshakable attraction. And here's the real kicker your mother would never own up to: a true one can be harder to find, and at certain times in your life even more fulfilling, than love. Keep Reading ...

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Relationship Advice: 5 More Things Your Mom Never Told You

What did your mom forget to tell you about love? ... but you absolutely should know.

Last week, we gave you five things your mom forgot to tell you about love. Turns out, there's a few more things she forgot to mention.

Remember when your mom found your sex ed book and launched into a diatribe about how "heavy petting" (yes, that was a glossary term) is what led to your consummation? No, just me? Well, lucky you, readers. Either way, when it comes to dispensing knowledge on relationships, there are undoubtedly some things dear old mom left out. Hey, it's her job! Now don't tell her we told you, but here are our five more frontrunners:

More from YourTango: Would You Try SEXCEREAL?

1. Timing > Love
It's possible your mother imparted on you the infamous "timing is everything" wisdom, but it's more possible she opted for the far more optimistic: "love conquers all". The fact is, the first one is true, and the second one isn't. There will be people you'll love in your life, who'll also love you, but that doesn't mean they're the "forever" ones. That may be life's biggest lesson: love isn't always enough. And what's more frustrating, you can be extremely compatible with this person, and everything seems so easy like you've always heard it should be — but if someone's not ready to move forward, they just won't. It's like a boulder, you can't move it on your own and you'll exhaust yourself trying, not to mention waste your time. Still, there is a sliver lining: these same people serve a significant purpose in your life, and more importantly, help both shape your character as well as make you realize what you want and need in a partner.

2. Don't, Um, Suck In Bed
Well, my mom actually did tell me this, in a somewhat round about way, but it was so shocking I'm convinced this isn't normal. When I was in high school, she received a wedding invitation in the mail, and informed me the two people getting married were both virgins; then said this verbatim: "Can you imagine? Talk about missionary position forever." It's only now, more than 10 years later, I realize what she really meant was: don't be afraid to experiment a little before locking it down, and especially with your current significant other.

More from YourTango: Are We Sacrificing Our Relationships For Happiness?

3. Sex Spells, They're A Thing
What is a sex spell, you ask? It's an unexplainable desire and pull towards someone you'd likely never even be in a serious relationship with, but you're both completely infatuated and bonded to despite little to no rational reason. This doesn't always have to equal great sex (though it almost always does), there's just a natural, almost unshakable attraction. And here's the real kicker your mother would never own up to: a true one can be harder to find, and at certain times in your life even more fulfilling, than love. Keep Reading ...

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35 and never had a boyfriend

Hi,
I have a bizarre problem. I'm 35 and I've never had a boyfriend. I dated a couple of guys in my 20s but things never went very far. I always thought I would meet someone naturally but didn't. I recently moved to a small town and am awfully lonely. I tried signing up for online dating and went out on a couple of dates with guys who I did not find attractive at all. Should I try match.com? How do I meet people?

The best way to meet people that you might have a future with is to do things that you enjoy. Join a group or a club for something you like and start conversations with the people there, make new friends and they'll introduce you to more people and it will keep increasing! I don't have much experience with online dating sites, but if you joined one and you were at least semi-satisfied with the results, or you think it has potential, I say go for it! Taking the first step by making yourself available to people is probably the most helpful way to make sure you meet the kind of people that you'll actually have a future with -- making an effort is the biggest problem most people have.

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Why It's Never Too Late For Love [EXPERT]

Got love? Plus: three ways to meet Mr. Right at any age.

There are lots of myths about dating, sex and relationships. One you may have heard is that it's too late for you to find love. Well, we are here to tell you that regardless of your age, the mistakes you have made in the past or how long you have been seeking a relationship, love will always be available to you.

More from YourTango: Why You Should Never Stop Looking For Love [EXPERT]

We hear from people all the time who tell us that we are "lucky" to have found each other. But believe me, if you heard our stories and all the mistakes we made in relationships along the way, you wouldn't consider us lucky. We often joke that we became relationship experts because between the two of us, we've made nearly every mistake possible when it comes to love.

However, we both took an intentional path to create the spiritual partnership that we have today. Long before we knew each other, we let go of limiting beliefs about love, and the release of those beliefs allowed us to see the other in a new light. We had been attending the same business networking meeting once a month for over a year before we even spoke to each other.

Creating love on purpose is not about where you are, but who you are. Stop looking for places to find good men, or spiritual men or women who aren't superficial, and start paying close attention to what is going on inside of you that affects the choices you make every day.

Here's how you can create love in your life at any age:

1. Release the past. You have to create space for your beloved. The space must exist in your thoughts and in your heart. If you are hung up on emotional pain from the past or you're pining away for the "one that got away," there is simply no room for your beloved. So forgive yourself, forgive the other person, bless them and move on!

More from YourTango: Out With The Old & In With The New [EXPERT]

Keep reading ...

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We talk every day but we never go out!

My story is strange I'm afraid to say, and it has been taking a lot of my energy.

My name is Chloe Im 25 years old, and I'm originally from French Canada - I started talking to this guy (let's call him Ben) by internet, he is British. We just started talking because I had plans to study in Oxford, so I wanted to make friends with local people.
We spent 3 or 4 months talking everyday while I was still in Canada, and we would text each other all the time as well.... My first day here in England was more like a fairy tale and he took me for dinner and the rest is story

Well, the fact is that I arrived here in January, and since then we just went out around 10 times but we are still talking every day. He has some depression issue, I have counseled him to find help and he did, but it seems he isn't getting better.
Another problem is, the fact every time he gets drunk he texts me saying he loves me (I never reply)... I don't understand, if he loves me, why he has issues to make me his girlfriend? Every time I use the word relationship he gets mad, I feel like giving it up but I am too needy to let it go. After all, talking to him every day makes me feel '' less alone''.

There is another thing, every time we have met, he spends 1 week ignoring me then later he says he was busy and things go back to normal.

Really need help because I feel so attached to this man

If he is suffering from depression, then it's a really complicated and serious situation. Depression is not something that will just go away. It's such an awful disease and it is affecting whole life - maybe this is because he is acting so weird. If you care for him, you should be close to him, but it's not enough - so it's great that you insisted on him to find help, you just should do it again. Did he go to the doctor? Is he taking any medication?

I think you should persevere with the relationship because I don't think he means any harm, judging by what you have told us. He obviously has mental problems and I think you could help him overcome or at least manage his depression so that it doesn't make you feel bad. Be patient and understanding, listen to him.

Isnt strange the fact we talk every single day, but he doesn't mention about seeing me? He drinks a lot, and when he drinks he says he misses me and loves me (by text), otherwise he wouldn't talk about it.
These days, he said I have been the best thing to happen to his life f... but I don't understand how someone can say all this and don't make efforts to see me.

Actually even when he was treating his depression, he didn't get much better and now he stopped with the treatment. To me is everything too strange, because he can go out and get drunk with his friends... he says he feels very self conscious when he is with me and he doesn't know why (even in sex).

I love him and don't know why, his behavior is so selfish...

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Love Problems? Never Run From The Issue, Solve It [EXPERT]

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