10 Hot Ways To Use Date Night As Foreplay [EXPERT]

One tip? Feed each other sexy treats like strawberries. Chalenge #20: Consider date night a prelude to amazing sex later.

Did you know that sex starts outside of the bedroom? In fact, some dates can be so arousing that they qualify as foreplay! So how do design a date that's so sexy, you're gauranteed to be tearing each other's clothes off by the end of the evening? We asked 10 of YourTango's top dating experts to share their best techniques for turning up the heat on date night.

1. Billiards

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There are so many reasons I love a game of pool for date night. It's fun, competitive and sensual. Not to mention, it's a great opportunity for the man to correct your position as you're bent over the table. (Are you thinking what I'm thinking?) In a game of pool, you need to be very deliberate and strategic in your every move ... and this applies to what's going on off the pool table, as well. I suggest wearing a form-fitting pair of jeans that accentuates your derrière and hugs your curves or if you don't mind playing a little dirty, dress up in a short skirt, a peek-a-boo blouse, tights and your sexiest pair of heels. Display a hint of cleavage and spritz on an enticing perfume to tease him by appealing to all of his senses. You can trust the fact he will not be thinking about the game. Instead, he'll be wondering how your bet can be redeemed. —Carmelia Ray

2. Thrill-Seeking Activities

Adrenaline gets your heart pumping, quickens your breath and makes your face flush; remind you of something? From sky-diving to kart-racing, activities that leave you buzzing with palpable energy and excitement are likely to light a spark between you and your date. Check out your local amusement park and make a bee-line for the rollercoaster. Just climbing into the coaster makes you feel like a teenager again — as in unbridled enthusiasm and raging hormones. Plus, the adrenaline rush you get as you're plunging down a big drop, whipping around a corner or speeding though a loop, is not unlike the feeling of more intimate activities. —David M. Matthews

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Are You Dating A Cat Or A Dog? [EXPERT]

Don't fight like cats and dogs. ... the answer will revive romance in your relationship!

A lot of people think of acts of romance as being gender-specific. Men should bring home bouquets of long-stemmed roses and women should wear naughty lingerie to keep the fire burning in their relationships. The problem with this kind of thinking is that it perpetuates false gender roles and actually misleads people into following a set of rigid sex-centric guidelines that ends up hurting the relationship — and disregards your uniqueness as a couple. I have a solution. (And I'd love to have you join me on the Love On Purpose Revolution Telesummit, where you can hear top relationship experts like me share our best strategies for creating love on purpose in your life!)

So here's my secret technique: consider romance from the perspective of a cat or a dog.

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Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "What's the difference between thinking in male/female terms and cat/dog terms?" Bear with me for a moment.

If you're dating a "cat", your significant other's idea of romance is the thought behind the act. In the mind of a cat person, romance proves that you were thinking of him/her before you walked into the room. Your significant other gets all warm and fuzzy inside when you bring home flowers, make dinner reservations or send a thoughtful card.

If you're dating a "dog" (and I'm a dog by the way), romance is being told that he/she is a "good dog." When you praise your partner for his/her accomplishments or you let your partner know how much you appreciate him/her, this makes the person feel loved and more open to intimacy.

So where does the conflict come from? Dogs are not usually thinking about things or people in advance. We're always thinking and acting in the moment, so we don't think about the people in our lives until we hear the keys in the door. Once we hear that key click and that doorknob turn, we're excited because you're home! All we want is for you to tell us that we're a "good dog" and have you play with us and feed us.

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That's all. We're very simple. But of course, for cats, that's not very thoughtful. A cat will be wondering why you weren't thinking of him/her beforehand. So, what's the solution? Keep reading ...

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Do You Only Have One Soulmate? [EXPERT]

Do you believe in soulmates? Are you looking for your soulmate — and what if this actually limits your ability to find love?

As a dating coach for women over 40, I hear my clients talk often about the idea of searching for a soulmate. Many of my dating coaching clients talk about seeking their soulmates. They feel that there is one special man who is the perfect match for them. He's a wonderful, miraculous individual who will solve all their problems and brings boundless love and joy to their lives.

That's not exactly my perspective.

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Do I think there is just one person who is the perfect match for you? No. I'm not of that belief. My perspective is that there are a few people who could suit you quite nicely and make a great partner. Of course, you only need one — isn't that great?

A lot depends on how you define the term "soul" itself. Neale Donald Walsch author of Conversations with God, describes the "soul" as a group of individuals that you incarnate with over eons. With this understanding, he says your soulmate is just that — a partner or mate from the same soul, whom you recognize in life. I've also heard this theory before from the book Journey of Souls by Michael Newton, Ph.D. (Now we're getting deep into some philosophy, but I hope you'll come with me.) Newton is a hypnotherapist who regressed clients, not to past lives, but the time in-between lives. He claims we have "pods" of other souls we are connected to and we reincarnate over and over again with the agreement to help each to evolve and learn life's lessons.

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Both Walsch and Newton say the same thing — your soulmate might not be a romantic partner, but could take on many other roles including parents, siblings, best friends and even your enemies. That's deep. This concept certainly puts a new twist on the term "soulmate", doesn't it? Keep reading ...

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According to this New York Times article, conferences are the new hot trend not only for career and personal development, but also for meeting singles! Are you longing to meet someone with common interests? Do you enjoy travel? Are you looking to advance your career? Now you can bundle all three by attending one of the top conferences held around the ... Read moreBy Coach Ronnie Ann Ryan

Is it just me or is TV out of control with all the dating shows being aired? According to this New York Times article, three new shows aired the week of April 7, and apparently one was worse than the next. One show didn't meet NBC's expectations as they cancelled Eva Longoria's show Ready for Love after only two episodes. Three matchmakers were to ... Read moreBy Coach Ronnie Ann Ryan

Tax Day is upon us again and there are financial advantages to being married when it comes to your tax return. But thinking beyond deductions, what is the emotional impact of your relationship status when filing single? As April 15 passes again, I encourage my clients to use this yearly milestone as a springboard for creating the love life you want. This is ... Read moreSee More

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Love At First Sight: Why It Won't Find Your Match [EXPERT]

There's more to someone than meets the eye. How do you find love beyond looks? Get to know your date over time.

I was talking to one of my female clients in her early 40s who has never been married. She confided in me that she tends to be attracted to good-looking men, but that these relationships fizzle out quickly and don't move forward as she would have hoped. It raised a question that so many of my clients ask me: How do you find love beyond looks?

Yes, looks are important from the standpoint that you have to be attracted to your mate. Especially with women, attraction can grow as you get to know someone over time. However, most of us are looking for someone who makes us feel special, exudes warmth and is someone we can trust.  

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Case in point — my husband wasn't initially on my radar. He is a quieter guy who relates better to people one-on-one. I met him through a bicycling group. I had to give him a chance to get to know him. The more time I spent with him, the more I liked him. I found out we shared many values in common and shared some of the same life goals. He didn't catch my eye at first, but he became more attractive to me over time.

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In another situation, after dating someone whom I thought was cute and more of my "type" at first, I noticed some serious differences in personalities between us. He didn't appreciate me for who I really am — a social person. He became jealous when I talked to friends at a community pool that I have been visiting for many years. And yet, he was off swimming laps when I was having this conversation! This made him much less attractive in my eyes. Keep reading ...

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Author

Amy Schoen, MBA, CPCC

http://www.motivatedtomarry.com/

Illuminating Your Path to Finding Lasting Love

I work with marriage minded individuals who are ready to take charge of their dating efforts and learn a system of how to meet people who share their values so that they can find the right one and have the family life they so desire.

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Quiz: Are You A Match Made In Heaven? [EXPERT]

It's written in the stars ... literally. What's your planetary personality and how does it affect your love life? Take this quiz to find out!

Have you ever asked someone, "Hey baby, what's your sign?" Even more revealing and looked to by professional astrologers before zodiac signs are "Planetary Personality Profiles." Take the following quiz to uncover the truth of who you are — and who you'll attract!

1. When you meet someone you like, you're first attracted to:
a. Their heart.
b. Their body.
c. Their looks — what else?
d. Nothing. I'm not attracted at first. I have to be impressed over time.

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2. On a date, your favorite thing to do is:
a. Share our most personal feelings in a quiet setting.
b. Watch something exciting, like a sporting event or scary movie.
c. Drink and dance in a nightclub.
d. Date? Who has time to date? Besides, I hardly ever meet anyone tall, rich, young, or (fill in the blank) enough.

3. When you decide to pursue a relationship, you:
a. Obsess over the person and hope the feelings are mutual.
b. Go for it! I love the thrill of the chase …
c. Make sure I look hot and flirt like crazy.
d. Get to know them slowly over time and gradually let the person into my life.

4. The thing you value the most in a mate is:
a. Their listens to me and validates my feelings.
b. Their loves joining me in activities like hiking, camping or tennis.
c. Their romantic displays of affection (including sparkly presents).
d. Their helps me be more productive and organized.

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5. You'd break up with someone if he/she:
a. Didn't share my love of puppies and homeless people.
b. Didn't exercise — daily.
c. Didn't dress well.
d. Didn't work hard. Keep reading ...

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How To Use The Law Of Attraction To Find Your Soulmate [EXPERT]

ProConnect Subscribe to Experts Blog By Nanice Ellis. Posted on Apr 8th 2013.

Love yourself and others will be attracted to you! Follow the law of attraction and find the love of your life!

The law of attraction is the belief that "like attracts like" and that by focusing on positive thoughts, we can bring about positive results. By understanding and following this simple rule, you will be empowered to attract a lifelong partner. There is nothing you cannot be, do or have when you know how to activate and use this unlimited power that lies within you. Here are 10 ways to use the law of attraction to find and keep your soulmate.

1. Be positively clear about what you want in a mate. Each "failed" relationship has given you clues about what you want in your ideal partner. The problem is many women and men focus on the negative instead of the positve. For example, by saying that you don't want a man who "puts his work before the relationship" you are focusing on a man who puts work before love and that is the desire you are unconsciously sending out through your energy.

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The good news is, if you know what you don't want, you know what you do want. Your power to create lies in your ability to choose thoughts that are positively clear, so that you can tell the universe exactly what you desire. ("I want a man who puts me first and loves me unconditionally.") You can tell if your affirmation is positive or negative by the way it makes you feel. If it makes you feel great, it is positive. If it makes you feel bad, it is negative. It's that simple! If you find yourself thinking negative thoughts, simply turn them around and start focusing on the positive. You will immediately feel better and you will be in alignment with love.

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2. Continue to dream it. If you are ready for love, one of the best things you can do is get lost in day dreaming about your perfect mate. As you imagine your ideal partner, the universe receives these images as indicators of what to create in your life. In your imagination, you can create and improve on your desired relationship it until it meets your highest ideal. Once you have that ideal image in your mind, replay it over and over until one day soon you will find yourself actually living it. The power of your imagination is unstoppable and can transform your love life. Keep reading ...

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On the way home from power yoga, there was a man with a sign, asking for monetary help. Whenever I see someone asking for money, I always give. The giving is not out of sympathy or feeling sorry for the person. I see everyone equally powerful and entitled to  their own individual expression.  If I come across someone seeking help, that means that that ... Read moreBy Nanice Ellis

What is the element that almost guarantees the success and longevity of any relationship? It is fulfilling the emotional needs of our significant other. When we feel good and fulfilled in any relationship, it is because our emotional needs are being met, and when we feel empty and unfulfilled, it is because our emotional needs are not being met. Stop for a ... Read moreBy Nanice Ellis

Definition of "Pure Love"- an over abundance of self-love that spontaneously flows out to others and continues to effortlessly replenish itself. How is Pure Love Expressed? Pure Love can only be expressed through Love that has no filters and needs nothing in return. If love is expressed through fear, jealousy, scarcity or any type of need or ... Read moreSee More

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10 First Date Dos & Don'ts [EXPERT]

One tip? Show off your smile! First dates are nerve-racking enough without etiquette faux pas.

Let's not complicate things with too many rules. Here are a few tips that will get you through the first date and hopefully a second one (if you play your cards right).

1. Do show up on time. Being late is rude and a major turn-off. First impressions count.

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2. Do look your best. This shows your date you've actually put some effort in your appearance. The neater the better, so dress to impress.

3. Do show your smile. Don't be afraid to show off those pearly whites. A great smile can lighten up a room.

4. Do be courteous. Being polite and well-mannered shows your consideration for others.

5. Do show him/her you're listening. Always pay attention to what your date is saying. This shows you are interested in the person sitting across from you.

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6. Do give him/her compliments. Giving praise is very positive and welcomed. It's a great boost for morale. Keep reading ...

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"Where can I meet singles?" This is the number one question I'm asked! Since I'm a matchmaker, it's my job to locate matches for my clients. Through the years, I've found some of the best places for singels to meet. You can pretty much meet your anywhere if you look hard enough, but I will narrow down the search for you. I know ... Read moreBy Marshon Thomas

Understand me here, not all men are cheaters. These are just examples of men who give the good guys a bad name. There are plenty good ones out there and I only take on clients who are  of high character. Here's a few warning signs: 1. Increasingly Private - If he sneaks off to make phone calls or to send a text. You might ... Read moreBy Marshon Thomas

Gone are the days of going to an expensive restaurant on a first date. Do you really want to spend so much time and money on someone you don't even  know? What if you don't have a connection? Then, you're out of money and out of luck. It's best to go to an expensive spot, get to know your date and see if there's a connection. It usually ... Read moreSee More

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Tax Day: Are You Filing Single Again This Year? [EXPERT]

Tired of tax season? Check. Still single on Tax Day? Use this annual milestone to find love and change your relationship status.

Tax Day is upon us again and there are financial advantages to being married when it comes to your tax return. But thinking beyond deductions, what is the emotional impact of your relationship status when filing single?

As April 15 passes again, I encourage my clients to use this yearly milestone as a springboard for creating the love life you want. This is the ideal time to meet partners and find love. As the weather warms up, so do people! Spring is a time of rebirth that harkens back to our more primitive nature. Leverage this innate yearning within every human to find the love you want.

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Here are seven suggestions on how to open your heart to finding love, attract more men and take advantage of springtime.

1. Notice men around you. When dating coaching clients ask me, "Where are the good single men?" I tell them they are everywhere, mixed in with all the other men. That means you cross paths with single men in everyday life, not just at singles events and online. It's time to open your eyes so you can notice men around you.

For my clients who make a real effort to do this exercise, they are astonished by what they see. Men really are everywhere! Even if these same women swore they never saw single men anywhere, this shift in awareness changes everything for them

2. Quiet the inner critic. Many women have a strong inner critic who says something negative about every man they see. Sadly, this is normal, but it doesn't have to continue. Push yourself to wonder why a man (you would otherwise judge) is loved by his girlfriend or wife. This causes you to look for something good — a whole new way to think about men.

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Taking time to do this actually impacts how men see you too. Your attitude softens and opens as you see men in a more positive light. The end result? You actually become more approachable and attractive to them! Keep reading ...

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10 First Date Dos & Don'ts [EXPERT]

One tip? Show off your smile! First dates are nerve-racking enough without etiquette faux pas.

Let's not complicate things with too many rules. Here are a few tips that will get you through the first date and hopefully a second one (if you play your cards right).

1. Do show up on time. Being late is rude and a major turn-off. First impressions count.

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2. Do look your best. This shows your date you've actually put some effort in your appearance. The neater the better, so dress to impress.

3. Do show your smile. Don't be afraid to show off those pearly whites. A great smile can lighten up a room.

4. Do be courteous. Being polite and well-mannered shows your consideration for others.

5. Do show him/her you're listening. Always pay attention to what your date is saying. This shows you are interested in the person sitting across from you.

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6. Do give him/her compliments. Giving praise is very positive and welcomed. It's a great boost for morale. Keep reading ...

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Okay ladies, I'm about to break the man code and reveal some top secret intel. Are you ready for it? Well, hear we go! I know it's hard to believe ladies but some man cheat.(sigh) That's right, they cheat and some of them are serial cheaters. I'm gonna give you a few tips because I can't stand to she a good woman get played. Here ... Read moreBy Marshon Thomas

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How To Use The Law Of Attraction To Find Your Soulmate [EXPERT]

Love yourself and others will be attracted to you! Follow the law of attraction and find the love of your life!

The law of attraction is the belief that "like attracts like" and that by focusing on positive thoughts, we can bring about positive results. By understanding and following this simple rule, you will be empowered to attract a lifelong partner. There is nothing you cannot be, do or have when you know how to activate and use this unlimited power that lies within you. Here are 10 ways to use the law of attraction to find and keep your soulmate.

1. Be positively clear about what you want in a mate. Each "failed" relationship has given you clues about what you want in your ideal partner. The problem is many women and men focus on the negative instead of the positve. For example, by saying that you don't want a man who "puts his work before the relationship" you are focusing on a man who puts work before love and that is the desire you are unconsciously sending out through your energy.

More from YourTango: The # 1 Secret To A Successful Relationship [EXPERT]

The good news is, if you know what you don't want, you know what you do want. Your power to create lies in your ability to choose thoughts that are positively clear, so that you can tell the universe exactly what you desire. ("I want a man who puts me first and loves me unconditionally.") You can tell if your affirmation is positive or negative by the way it makes you feel. If it makes you feel great, it is positive. If it makes you feel bad, it is negative. It's that simple! If you find yourself thinking negative thoughts, simply turn them around and start focusing on the positive. You will immediately feel better and you will be in alignment with love.

More from YourTango: Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places? [EXPERT]

2. Continue to dream it. If you are ready for love, one of the best things you can do is get lost in day dreaming about your perfect mate. As you imagine your ideal partner, the universe receives these images as indicators of what to create in your life. In your imagination, you can create and improve on your desired relationship it until it meets your highest ideal. Once you have that ideal image in your mind, replay it over and over until one day soon you will find yourself actually living it. The power of your imagination is unstoppable and can transform your love life. Keep reading ...

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Author, Business Coach, Career Coach, Clergy, Consultant, Dating Coach, Divorce Coach, Divorce Recovery Coach, Family Coach, Hypnotherapist, Life Coach, Mediator, Mentor, Money Coach, Pastoral Counselor, Personal Development Coach, Relationship Coach, Speaker/Presenter, Spiritual Healer, Wellness Coach, YourTango Expert Partner

Nanice
Life Coach, Author, Spiritual Philosopher
http://www.nanice.com/
"Chai with Nanice" Radio - 170 Free Downloads
"Only Love is Real"

Specialties: Empowering Women, Life Transitions, Self-Esteem, Spiritual

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5 Warning Signs You're Dating A Womanizer [EXPERT]

ProConnect Subscribe to Experts Blog By Jane Garapick. Posted on Apr 8th 2013.

One red flag? He's over the top with romance. Is he your Prince Charming or a smooth Casanova in disguise?

You've just met a man who, at least on the surface, seems to be your dream guy. He's attractive, funny, charming, successful and his smile (let alone the thought of his caress) makes you weak in the knees. You go out on a date or two, and he's nothing short of perfect. He treats you like a queen, compliments your sense of style and tells you all of the things that you've been longing to hear from a guy.

So how do you know this guy's the real thing and not just some womanizer who's going to disappear after your first slumber party? While the only way to know for sure is to pass the test of time, here are a few red flags that would definitely indicate a potential for womanizer status.

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1. He has a reputation. If your girlfriends have warned you that he uses women and throws them away, you need to listen to them and know he's most likely a womanizer. Granted, there's a small chance that you are the woman that can change him, but even if you do, you'll just wind up spending the rest of your relationship worrying he's going to revert back to his old womanizing ways. It's very likely a guy like this will.

2. He moves fast. Before you've even had a chance to meet his friends and family, he's telling you that you're the woman of his dreams and he's been waiting his whole life just to find you. While this is certainly exciting and thrilling, how could he possibly know that this quickly? It's much more likely that he's just in love with love (best case), or he's just trying to get one thing from you (you know what it is). And this womanizer wants to reach his goal as soon as possible.

3. He's over the top with the romance. We all love romantic gestures, whether it be a hand-written poem or a bouquet of flowers delivered to our desks at work, but if your guy constantly wants to jet you off to the islands for a romantic weekend or often surprises you with lavish jewelry, then he's most likely had plenty of practice. While you might be thinking that you're just graciously accepting his gifts, to him, these come with surprise expectations on your part.

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4. He only has eyes for you … and anything else in a skirt. If you notice that your guy is checking out other women, or worse, flirting with the waitress, hostess, barista, etc., then he's most likely a womanizer. As he's telling you how beautiful you are and that you're exactly the type of woman for him, he's already thinking about how the woman that just walked by fits the same description. He's not lying — the womanizer feels this way about every woman that strikes his fancy — you just happen to be part of the (very populated) crowd. Keep reading ...

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There comes a time in everyone's life when something happens that causes you to re-evaluate the path you're on. A crisis of sorts, to set a change in motion to lead you to a different path, to get you to stop and take notice of what is and isn't working. This turning point will look different for everyone, but the point is to make whatever has ... Read moreBy Jane Garapick

One of my male readers pointed something out recently that really got me thinking about the whole idea of scarcity. He made a real point that there are many educated, responsible, interesting men out there who are complaining about the opposite of what we women are often complaining about — namely, the lack of available women. So how can it be that ... Read moreBy Jane Garapick

In the early years of my dating life, I thought I knew exactly what I wanted, and I was absolutely sure I was going to get it: a charming, great looking, well-built guy who dressed well, made plenty of money and drove me around to nice places in a nice car. He'd have been a bit of a bad boy in his not-so-distant past, but once he met me, he would fall so ... Read moreSee More

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9 Conversation Tips To Attract A Guy [EXPERT]

One tip? No man can resist a woman with a beautiful smile. Stand out from the rest of the dating scene and catch his eye with these tips.

When talking to a guy, getting his interest depends on two things: you as a person (something that you can't change so easily) and what you do during the conversation. You see, when a guy is talking to you he's looking for those little hints that show him if you are or aren't interested in dating him as well as general things that might turn him off.

So, this article is going to focus on some simple tips that will make you desirable in a conversation. It's not about changing your whole way of life but more changing the way you interact with any particular guy so that you can create attraction. Finally, know that when using these simple tips you need to already be interested in the guy yourself. There's no point in getting him interested if you aren't interested in him.

More from YourTango: How To Flirt - 9 Effortless Ways To Flirt With A Man [EXPERT]

These simple tips will help you stand out from the crowd and give you a better chance at gaining his interest.

1. Smile often. I know this may seem obvious, but unless a guy gets a smile out of you, he'll be more than sure that his advances aren't working. So, if you want to make a guy feel like his doing a good job, giggle at his jokes and smile when you look at him even if there's no particular reason. No guy can resist a girl with a beautiful smile.

2. Be a woman. Men are attracted by women who know how to play the woman role. As women are almost always attracted to chivalrous men, men are attracted to graceful and coy women. Do not misunderstand coy with shy and timid. It's not about that.

Have that female flare about you: Flutter your hair, gaze into his eyes, have your own cute expressions — be feminine. This attracts men more than you can imagine. If you learn to be a lovable lady, any guy will want to become your knight in shining armor.

3. Touch him. In my personal opinion, touching should always be initiated by the man; however, in this day and age, there are a lot of guys that don't know their place in the world. If you want to impress him a lot and I do mean a lot here, so touch him. It's that simple. Studies have actually proven that both men and women involuntarily start showing more interest and flirt more when they are touched by the other person in the middle of a conversation.

So, if he isn't touching you (thus showing some interest) touch him yourself! Occasionally, touch his forearm or place your palm on the edge of his shoulder, or any other place that would be appropriate for casual touches, and you'll see how his interest in you would grow in no time.

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4. Let him be a man. Instinctually men love to protect and provide for their women. When you connect with a man at this level he won't even know why he is attracted to you. You can do this with very simple things like holding his arm while crossing the street, smile shyly and ask if he can hold your shopping bags for a minute, hold his hand as a big scary dog comes near you, be afraid and seek shelter in him when watching a scary movie. Basically make him feel as if he was your protector and he will want to be by your side all the time. Keep reading ...

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How To Create Your Own 'Husband Material' Checklist [EXPERT]

Could he be 'the one' you've been looking for? Looking for a husband? Review our checklist to see what traits make a man husband material.

Are you a single woman in the market for a husband? This week YourTango has been featuring posts based on their survey about what makes a man husband material. Everyone defines what it takes for a man to be husband material differently, although there are some basic similarities for sure.

If you are dating to find your romantic partner, then it would probably be helpful to know how to tell if the men you meet measure up. Whether you have found a great guy but haven't married yet or are still looking for Mr. Right, The Husband Material Checklist is a must have for the single gal. I pulled the list together from the other YourTango experts and added a couple of my own from my dating journey to find my husband.

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Even though the list is fairly comprehensive, here's what you won't find: any external traits such as height, weight, body type, hair or eye color, fitness level, similar interests, job, level of success, salary, type of car, fashion sense or even religion.

I know some of these characteristics may factor into how attracted you feel to a guy. But overall, they did not make the husband material checklist for a good reason: They are not strong indicators for a long-lasting, healthy, loving relationship with the right man. This is particularly true based on the survey results, but I also know this as a dating coach for women with 11 years of experience.

Read over this 20-point checklist to see what qualities are important to you in a man. Then decide for yourself what matters most to know if your man is husband material and create your own checklist.

1. He's grounded. While you may prefer the excitement of a bad boy, it can also be nerve-racking. A man who is practical and grounded makes a better and more pleasant long-term partner.

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2. He's reliable. When you trust a man to make a plan and follow through, you know you can count on him as a stable partner. Reliability can never be overrated. Keep reading ...

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4 Brainiacs Every Woman Should Date [EXPERT]

These men make being a 'geek' look a whole lot sexier. If you've been passing over the nerds in your life, you may be missing out on The One.

Smart guys sometimes seem to get a bad rap. Their level of intelligence may make them appear to be pompous or they can even come across as standoffish. Or, because they have a linear train of thought, they may not have much to contribute to a conversation that is not of interest to them. These brainiacs are often misunderstood and just like other singles, they are looking for someone to date. 

Before you dismiss these types as incompatible or not your type, add these types to the list of guys to date while searching for The One:

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1. The Wine Snob Foodie. This guy is going to take you to the best restaurants, wine tastings and may even book you tickets on The Top Chef cruise. He knows the perfect Bordeaux to order with dinner, the best Zagat-rated restaurants and the names of all the James Beard winners for the year.

He will provide you the greatest culinary experiences and show you a world that often is limited to a chosen few. He can educate you on differences between farm to table or local, organic versus natural and how sparkling wines simply do not compare to champagne. He may be overly opinionated or slightly pretentious but you will never go hungry with him around. 

2. The Bookworm. The first date might be for coffee at Barnes and Noble. The second may be a live reading from the latest author on the New York Times Bestselling List. He is protective over his Kindle and prides himself on his extensive in home library. Not limited to one subject, his range of interest varies from classical fiction to literary trilogies.

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He speaks about characters in novels as if they are family members. He's never short on conversation because the latest book he's reading serves as his topic of the moment. You may not always know what he's talking about but Spark Notes and Google will get you through. You can always suggest watching the movie version to compliment his literary fascination. Keep reading ...

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'Data, A Love Story': 6 Things Online Daters Should Know [EXPERT]

ProConnect Subscribe to Experts Blog By Gina Stewart. Posted on Apr 3rd 2013.

Online dating doesn't necessarily mean that love is a mouse click away. Amy Webb's romantic memoir has several good lessons for online daters.

I just read Amy Webb's online dating memoir Data, A Love Story: How I Gamed Online To Meet My Match. In short, Webb is a frustrated singleton who's tired of a slew of bad online dates. She gets the idea to pose as her ideal man to get an understanding of how females react to him and learn how to reposition her own profile to gain this type of man's attention.

Spoiler alert: Her efforts work out for her and she meets her dream guy via online dating. I loved Webb's story and there were some very universal truths to it for anyone looking to increase their odds of finding love via online dating. There were some things that were specific to Webb's story though (she acknowledges this as well), as well as a few points that I disagree with her on as a professional online dating coach.

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1. Webb's story revolved around attracting a man specific to her. Webb realized the folly of her initial online dating attempt. She took for granted how men would respond to her profile and she wrote it like a resume. This is a point I scream from the mountain tops to my readers: Your profile needs to be positioned to attract the type of person you are interested in. This is marketing; consider your audience and how your audience interprets what you say. When she rewrote her profile and chose pictures, she made sure to keep in mind the man she was trying to attract. Her type of man may not be your type, so put your audience first.

2. Webb did not initiate contact as a "man". While posing as her own dream man, Webb only responded to females who contacted "him" first. This doesn't necessarily replicate the way men online date. Most men are initiators in online dating because they have to be (probably because most men in online dating aren't fictional dream boats). Therefore, her pool of women she decides to base her stats and advice on were only women who initiated, which isn't the majority of women or even the most successful online women daters.

Furthermore, we can't forget Webb is a woman. She can't say that she understood what men would be attracted to in a female, she only knew what she would be attracted to in a female. But she's a she, so does that help other females? Ultimately what she did helped her a attract a man, there's no contest about that. But I'd like to take her points a step further. 

I do online dating with men, speaking to them and learning what makes them pursue one woman over another. What Webb got right are the importance of attractive pictures and seeming friendly. What she doesn't know is the importance of the written profile to getting contacted by men.

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3. Correlation does not necessarily equal causation. Webb found a ton of very important data and changed her profile and behaviors to reflect the information she learned. Ultimately, Webb also met her dream man and married him. While Webb's story has a happy ending, it is important not to confuse her tactics with being a roadmap to love. What is important is that she increased her chances of finding the right guy. There is no telling which factors contributed to helping her meet her husband. The best you can do is position yourself in the most advantageous way possible. Keep reading ...

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Author, Dating Coach

Gina Stewart is the happy owner of ExpertOnlineDating.com, where she helps daters, especially men, get the more from their online dating experience and getting better dates. Chosen by DatingAdvice.com as one of the 10 Best Online Dating Experts, Gina's personal approach to coaching utilizes strategic marketing principals, clever and creative applications, and scientific data for a singular goal: getting dates. Her e-book Expert Online Dating: Advice for Men from a Hot Chick is available on Amazon and most other e-book retailers. Contact her via ExpertOnlineDating.com

Other Articles/News by Gina Stewart:By Gina Stewart

The other day I had a couple of girlfriends over. We had some wine and laughs and one of my friends pulled up her online dating account to show who had been contacting her (laughs continued). We were scrolling through one of the features where the site suggests people it thinks you may be interested in. A picture of a dark haired, blue-eyed guy that lived about ... Read moreBy Gina Stewart

When I first started my business, Expert Online Dating, it was to help men understand how they could best court women in the digital space. I was fascinated by the habits of the opposite sex, especially with regard to pursuing a woman online. So, when a little bird sent me some data on a recent study focusing on men and online dating, she was right that I would ... Read moreBy Gina Stewart

When people think about the hardest part of online dating, they often point to the written profile. Oh man, it's hard to write about yourself, right? Funny thing is that while writing about yourself is a skill, it's not writing about yourself, per se, which is the point most men struggle with and stops them from getting dates. They are simply bad at ... Read moreSee More

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5 Things You Shouldn't Reject A Guy Over [EXPERT]

Not everything has to be a deal breaker. You may want to rethink judging him for his less-than-cool profession or lack of style.

By Arnie Singer for GalTime.com

I firmly believe that a woman should not feel obligated to date every guy sent her way just because she might feel negative about her single status or "anxious" to get into a relationship. When it comes to finding that ideal significant other, we all have our list of desired traits along with the drop-dead deal breakers that we refuse to compromise on. Also, going out on too many bad dates will drain you of your positive energy, which is so vital to dating success.

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Some women go a bit overboard in the rejection department and write off potential matches for reasons that I believe are short-sighted and irrelevant to a happy relationship. Remember, your goal is to be in a committed, happy relationship that will lead to marriage. So here are some things that I believe you should not reject a guy over.

1. His clothing. On two separate occasions, I tried to set up women with men I suggested because they didn't like the way they dressed. They felt the men weren't "sharp" or cool enough for them. Admittedly, they were clueless in the clothing department, but I told these women that I thought they were making a big mistake by rejecting these men who were both highly intelligent, successful professionals and really nice guys — only based on their style (or lack thereof).

I guess living in big cities filled with metrosexual, GQ-reading men on the cutting edge of fashion trends can distort the reality that lots of great men are ignorant when it comes to style. They either don't know or don't care, so they continue to dress like college frat boys or Revenge of the Nerds extras. I can totally see how this can be a turn off to women who put so much effort into looking their best.

But here's the reason why it shouldn't matter: Most men will gladly upgrade their wardrobe for the right woman. Most men would love for a woman to take them shopping and help them pick out clothes. In fact, they probably wouldn't mind if you went shopping on your own and just brought them back stuff to wear. It's that simple.

In most areas you need to assume that a person will not change, and you must accept them as they are. Clothing style for men is not one of them. Once you're in a relationship, you can style your man. So don't reject a guy just because he can't figure out what to wear!

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2. His home furnishing. Similar to tastes in clothing, most guys do not have the sense of style necessary to furnish an apartment or home that doesn't look like a college dorm room or Austin Powers' bachelor pad. That's where you come in, if you end up living in the same house. Keep that in mind and look past the design disaster to see the real man. Keep reading ...

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5 Vacation Ideas For Cash-Strapped Couples [EXPERT]

You don't have to travel far; you just have to travel together. Want to reignite the sexual fire in your relationship? It may be time to hit the road.

Want to reignite the sexual fire in your relationship? It may be time to hit the road. A survey by the U.S. Travel Association found a weekend vacation is more likely to spark romance in a relationship than giving a material gift. Of the 1,100 American adults surveyed, 72 percent reported that traveling improves their sex life and strengthens their romantic relationship. Yet, the New York Times bestselling book The Normal Bar reports that 75% of all American couples have never taken a romantic vacation. 

It is easy to understand the benefits of a week-long vacation in a romantic beach villa. But you don't have to travel so far from home or spend a lot of money to reap the romantic benefits of traveling together. Here are five ideas for a simple weekend getaway that will offer all the sexual benefits of an exotic vacation — without busting your bank account. For each romantic getaway idea, we've included ideas to turn up the heat for an unforgettable weekend.

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1. Take a spontaneous roadtrip. One of the biggest romantic benefits of traveling together comes from the surplus of time together. A vacation allows you to talk, connect and rediscover your love for one another. A roadtrip is an ideal scenario for enjoying long conversations with your lover while exploring the world together.

Pick a destination no more than two or three hours away from home. A few hours in the car can be great fun, any longer can start to feel tedious. Look for a small town in your region with something special to offer: a great restaurant, a historic site, a winery or brewery or an artisan workshop that offers tours.

Take the opportunity to learn something new together by printing out the Wikipedia article about your destination and reading it out loud as you drive. Allow the road trip to help you feel free spirited. Crank up the radio, stock up on fun car snacks and open the windows wide. Amp up the erotic excitement by pulling over on a secluded road and making out (or more!) in the backseat of your car.

2. Find your muse. Seeing beautiful sites is one of the benefits of a romantic getaway. You don't have to travel far to get inspired by beautiful art. Most regions have a few towns that are known for art galleries or perhaps a city near you has an art museum. Dress up in your best clothes and spend the afternoon wandering the galleries together. Take the time to discuss art that catches your eye and be specific about what you find inspiring.

Taking the time to learn what you both find beautiful and inspiring will inspire you to see the beauty in one another. Consider buying a small piece of art for your home — there are often very talented artists selling original works on the streets outside of museums.

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Also stop into the museum store or a local art supply store and buy a paintbrush. When you get home, treat your lover's body like a work of art. Dip the paintbrush in warm water and run it up and down their body, creating a featherlight caress and bringing your lover's entire body to attention! Follow this full body warm up with slow, sensual lovemaking. Keep reading ...

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Are Divorced Men Capable Of Commitment? [EXPERT]

38.8% of married men divorce between the ages of 20 and 24. Does a divorce in his past signify marriage-mindedness, or is it precisely the opposite?

Are you a woman who wants to be in a committed relationship or married? If so, and you're only considering men who have never been married, you may be limiting your options.

A good segment of the male population has been married and divorced. In fact, 38.8 percent of married men divorce between the ages of 20 and 24; Twenty-two-point-three percent of men divorce between 25 and 29 years old; and 11.6 percent of men divorce between 30-34 years old.

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I still believe you can find happily ever after with a divorced man. I have even seen it first-hand with many of my good friends. You just need to know what to look for.

Is he marriage-minded?

A guy who has worked through his issues from his divorce and has healed himself is capable of committing to the right woman. He has committed before and will tend to choose better the next time around. He now knows what it takes to make a marriage succeed and will take responsibility to make things right. This guy will tend to be less self-centered and open to resolving issues that come up. If he has kids, he will tend to be more giving and nurturing.

A guy who is marriage-minded will be consistent with his behaviors and actions. He will spend time with you, call and text you during the in-between times, make plans with you in advance and talk about your future together. He will treat you with love, affection and respect. You'll meet his family and friends and he will meet yours.   

Or, is he incapable of commitment?

Don't get enamored with a divorced guy who has cheated on his ex-wife, is verbally, mentally, emotionally or physically abusive, is going through a mid-life crisis, has a substance abuse problem with drugs and alcohol, a gambling problem, pornography addiction, equates commitment with a jail sentence, can't hold a job and/or blames his ex for his problems and divorce. This guy is not able to commit and you won't be the one to change him. Keep reading ...

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Why Spring Is The Season Of Love [EXPERT]

Spring into love! Four ways to meet guys when the weather gets warm.

If you do a Google images search of the word "springtime," pages come up full of colorful wildflowers, fluffy animals and couples enjoying romantic outdoor moments. So, gorget about those New Year's resolutions. Springtime is about new beginnings, shedding old habits, cleaning out your closet and finding new love.

"Finding love in the spring?" you might ask yourself. Why, yes! The spring is as great a time as any for renewed spirits and finding a potential suitor. Let's take a look at some of the ways you can find love in the springtime:

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1. Get outside. Enjoy the warmer weather and sunshine. After all, it's what you've been looking forward to all winter. Chances are you probably spent the past few months indoors, so get out of your house, apartment or condo and take a walk. It's amazing the conversations you'll have by just strolling through your neighborhood. You never know; Mr. Right could be right next door.

2. Choose a new hobby. One of the best ways to meet people is by doing things you enjoy. Take a painting class, join the local community garden or take up kayaking. By doing what you love, you'll find similar people with similar interests.

3. Become a volunteer. If you're an altruistic person, spend those few extra hours of daylight saving time to do good for someone else. Ask your neighbors to pitch in on a book drive for the local library, enlist your Facebook friends to cook a feast for the homeless shelter or volunteer to plant flowers at the Boys & Girls Club down the road.

4. Get active. Bathing suit season is only a few months away, so why not spend the spring getting ready? Studies show exercise is an excellent way to boost your endorphins — resulting in better moods and reduced stress. So, grab a running buddy or commit to riding your bicycle instead of driving your car. You'll look hot and feel better about yourself, so members of the opposite sex will automatically take notice.

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American fashion designer Lilly Pulitzer once said, "Despite the forecast, live like it's spring." Sure, we should live every day to the fullest, but it's just a bit easier when surrounded by vibrant flowers and birds chirping. So, get out of your house, get active, take up a new hobby and don't be surprised if your next suitor is working on the garden plot next door.

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What Makes Men Husband Material [EXPERT]

Do you want a provider, a partner or both? Four factors to consider before making a life-long commitment.

What is "husband material" anyway? If you are single and looking for Mr. Right, this question has probably crossed your mind more than a few times. If you are a romantic, you probably think the sparks and fireworks you feel every time you are together will be your guide. If you're more pragmatic, you likely have a list of attributes you want, and you dismiss men who don't live up to those expectations. Both of these approaches require modification to accommodate real human beings with strengths and weaknesses. With that in mind, let's consider how to look for the best traits in a lifelong partner:

1. Know yourself. The more you know about yourself, the more you can share with your date. Sharing your whole life history on the first date is probably too much information. Ideally, give him little spoonfuls of information about yourself and see what he does with them. Does he change the subject back to himself, or does he seem interested in your feelings? Do you feel comfortable exposing your feelings to him, or would you rather keep them to yourself? The key to successful relationships is to find a balance between not sharing anything and sharing everything.

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2. Know him. If you want a quality man for a lifelong husband, then accept him for who he is today, not who he might be in the future. Everyone chooses to continue to grow, or they get stuck where they are at until they have sufficient motivation to change. What you want to see in him is the openness to change and grow over time. Take your time getting to know him; intentionally disagree with him and see what happens.

Pay attention and be aware of his habits. If he "forgets" to brush his teeth, remember, you don't have have to kiss him. Everyone, including you, has annoying habits. When you choose each other for a lifelong relationship there will be qualities you adore in each other and qualities that are a bit annoying.

3. Know your dealbreakers. Dealbreakers are behaviors and attitudes that would cause you to break off the relationship. They might include poor hygiene, poor employment history, and/or cheating. If you don't want to be cheated on or lied to, tell him. Look for clues from his behavior to tell if he is being open and honest with you. Identify for yourself how you want to be treated by a lifelong partner. Consider whether he is willing to accommodate your dealbreakers. If not, be ready to leave the relationship. He won't magically change in the future. Keep reading ...

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