Boyfriend Material: 7 Reasons You Need To Date A Divorced Guy

According to Patti Stanger, divorced men are a "girl's best kept secret". Here's why you shouldn't throw in the towel on a guy just because his past involves a divorce.

With the divorce rate hanging around the 50 percent mark, there's a decent chance that at some point in your life you'll find yourself smitten with a divorced guy and you'll be faced with the decision of whether or not dating him is a good idea. While it may seem a little shady at first— especially if he has extra baggage like kiddos — divorced men sometimes have more to offer than guys who have never taken the plunge.

According to the Millionaire Matchmaker, Patti Stanger, divorced men are a "girl's best kept secret".

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Well, we're letting the secret out now. Here's why.

1. He believes in serious, longterm commitment.
Although it may have not worked the first time around, the fact that he did get married shows that he believes in commitment. That’s a big deal in a society that's becoming more and more disillusioned with marriage.

2. The sex is awesome.
Statistically, married couples have sex less than those who aren’t hitched. According to The Social Organization of Sexuality, 80 percent of married couples only have sex a few times a month. If that was the case in his past relationship, just think about how buck wild he'll be in the sack now that he's with someone who wants to do it all the time, or at least more than his ex-wife.

3. He "gets" it.
He’s been there and done that. He understands about ups and downs, petty arguments, and the struggles that come with a serious relationship. It's not easy to keep things smooth sailing at all times, and just because his marriage didn't work out, it doesn't mean he's not up to the challenge to do it again.

4. Insta-family.
If you're cuckoo for babies, but aren't ready to have a few of your own, then a divorced guy who has a kid or two will give you the baby-fix you're looking for without overwhelming you and crowding your style.

5. He's housebroken.
I'm definitely not one to equate men with dogs, even when they're being the absolute worst, but Stanger says, "Divorced men come already housebroken. Another woman has done the hard work of teaching him to put the seat down, call when he's late, and tread lightly during a bad week." Good point, and definitely a plus.

6. He has his ducks in a row.
Having been married and then divorced, he's not only had his fair share of drama, both good and bad, but he's probably had ample opportunity to do some soul-searching. A man, who knows who he is and what he wants, is always a catch.

7. He's learned from his mistakes.
As with any relationship that has failed, romantic or otherwise, lessons are always learned. A divorced guy who signed up for the long haul, but didn’t quite make it can probably stare his mistakes in the face and realize how not to make them again.

Takeaway? Don't throw in the towel on a guy just because his past involves a divorce. Relationships start and end everyday, and if we didn't give people a chance just because they have a breakup under their belt, then we'd totally miss out on the potential for something great.

Have anything to add to the list? Tell us in the comments below.

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How To Create Your Own 'Husband Material' Checklist [EXPERT]

Could he be 'the one' you've been looking for? Looking for a husband? Review our checklist to see what traits make a man husband material.

Are you a single woman in the market for a husband? This week YourTango has been featuring posts based on their survey about what makes a man husband material. Everyone defines what it takes for a man to be husband material differently, although there are some basic similarities for sure.

If you are dating to find your romantic partner, then it would probably be helpful to know how to tell if the men you meet measure up. Whether you have found a great guy but haven't married yet or are still looking for Mr. Right, The Husband Material Checklist is a must have for the single gal. I pulled the list together from the other YourTango experts and added a couple of my own from my dating journey to find my husband.

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Even though the list is fairly comprehensive, here's what you won't find: any external traits such as height, weight, body type, hair or eye color, fitness level, similar interests, job, level of success, salary, type of car, fashion sense or even religion.

I know some of these characteristics may factor into how attracted you feel to a guy. But overall, they did not make the husband material checklist for a good reason: They are not strong indicators for a long-lasting, healthy, loving relationship with the right man. This is particularly true based on the survey results, but I also know this as a dating coach for women with 11 years of experience.

Read over this 20-point checklist to see what qualities are important to you in a man. Then decide for yourself what matters most to know if your man is husband material and create your own checklist.

1. He's grounded. While you may prefer the excitement of a bad boy, it can also be nerve-racking. A man who is practical and grounded makes a better and more pleasant long-term partner.

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2. He's reliable. When you trust a man to make a plan and follow through, you know you can count on him as a stable partner. Reliability can never be overrated. Keep reading ...

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15 Random Signs He's Husband Material

Choose the dude who puts that kind of smile on your face. Is he Mr. Right, or just Mr. Right Now?

Choosing whether or not to spend the rest of your life with a guy is a pretty weighty decision, on par with other scary decisions like whether you should eventually be responsible for the well-being of another human. Or whether you should have pizza for the fourth day in a row.

It's life-changing.

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So, how do you know if your beau is husband material? It's a toughie. How can you ever really know that he's going to be the type of guy you can count on when push comes to shove? The type who will still wine you and dine you after you've been together for five trillion years? The type whose happiness will always be crucial to your own (and vice versa)? The guy who understands that you're obsessed with cats on the Internet (even though he doesn't understand why).

So, without further adieu, here are 15 random signs this one's a keeper:

1. He indulges your guilty pleasures. A guy who's husband material comes home from a long day at work, bypasses his man cave, ambles on over to you instead and up-ends his backpack to drop five bags of Cadbury mini eggs onto the table—and he doesn't even like chocolate. Then he says, "Muffin top? What muffin top? I love your curves." Swoon.

2. He brags about you to anyone who will listen. A guy who's husband material talks you up to his friends, family, his dry cleaner, the guy at the deli on the corner, his hairdresser, the old woman who lives next door and is always concerned about whether he's "met a nice girl yet" … even (gulp) his mom. Because he thinks you're talented and amazing and gorgeous, and goddamn, everyone should know.

3. He loves your cats. Or at he least pretends to. Or at the very least he doesn't complain (too much) when, within one week of meeting you, every article of clothing he owns looks like it's growing a beard.

4. He likes your brand of crazy. A guy who's husband material sticks around, even when you're totally irrational or downright bitchy. He recognizes that he can be a pain in the butt, too. Because dude. You get each other.

5. He accompanies you on weekly visits to the nursing home to visit your grandfather. He knows that seeing your grandfather there breaks your heart. And then he engages in enthusiastic conversation with your grandfather, even though he's already heard every story the guy's ever told approximately 5,238 times since you first started seeing each other. That guy is husband material. 

6. He fights fair. A guy who's husband material takes a step back and becomes the voice of reason in the midst of your most volatile arguments. Perhaps he even suggests the two of you try that reflexive listening exercise your couples therapist taught you, even though he didn't want to go to a shrink in the first place. But he did anyway. Keep reading ... 

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What Makes Men Husband Material [EXPERT]

Do you want a provider, a partner or both? Four factors to consider before making a life-long commitment.

What is "husband material" anyway? If you are single and looking for Mr. Right, this question has probably crossed your mind more than a few times. If you are a romantic, you probably think the sparks and fireworks you feel every time you are together will be your guide. If you're more pragmatic, you likely have a list of attributes you want, and you dismiss men who don't live up to those expectations. Both of these approaches require modification to accommodate real human beings with strengths and weaknesses. With that in mind, let's consider how to look for the best traits in a lifelong partner:

1. Know yourself. The more you know about yourself, the more you can share with your date. Sharing your whole life history on the first date is probably too much information. Ideally, give him little spoonfuls of information about yourself and see what he does with them. Does he change the subject back to himself, or does he seem interested in your feelings? Do you feel comfortable exposing your feelings to him, or would you rather keep them to yourself? The key to successful relationships is to find a balance between not sharing anything and sharing everything.

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2. Know him. If you want a quality man for a lifelong husband, then accept him for who he is today, not who he might be in the future. Everyone chooses to continue to grow, or they get stuck where they are at until they have sufficient motivation to change. What you want to see in him is the openness to change and grow over time. Take your time getting to know him; intentionally disagree with him and see what happens.

Pay attention and be aware of his habits. If he "forgets" to brush his teeth, remember, you don't have have to kiss him. Everyone, including you, has annoying habits. When you choose each other for a lifelong relationship there will be qualities you adore in each other and qualities that are a bit annoying.

3. Know your dealbreakers. Dealbreakers are behaviors and attitudes that would cause you to break off the relationship. They might include poor hygiene, poor employment history, and/or cheating. If you don't want to be cheated on or lied to, tell him. Look for clues from his behavior to tell if he is being open and honest with you. Identify for yourself how you want to be treated by a lifelong partner. Consider whether he is willing to accommodate your dealbreakers. If not, be ready to leave the relationship. He won't magically change in the future. Keep reading ...

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