Hi everyone
My 1 year long relationship has turned into something that makes me really sad all the time.Well, to begin
She really has a problem with my exs. She always browses my history, I caught her few times in doing that. I saw that she was trying to log in into my facebook account several times. She also found some of my pictures with an ex and made a big deal of it, even though i destroyed them as soon as we found them. She was also very mad when she found in my history that I looked an ex's facebook profile twice in last 12 months (and that is only because my best friend wanted to see something about his gf, her sister). So I didn't talk to her or anything we just looked at something. Even though i explained it a billion times she was so mad and I ended up apologizing and feeling bad.I never gave her any reason to do such things, I never even thought about idea of cheating her or something. I had opportunity to cheat on her several times but every time I didn't and ended up explaining those other girls how much I love my gf and would never hurt her. (and some of those girls were my exs)
With the next I am not so proud but I think I don't think that I shouldn't have done that.
With her being so obsessive with exs, messages and pictures, I started thinking about it too. Few weeks ago I was alone with her PC and couldn't resist in looking at it. I have found screenshots of her conversations with her ex which happened around 3 months into our relationship.
They seem to be fighting all the time. But there are also hearts all over the conversations, and it seems like they spoke to each other all the time. But the fact that she took screenshots, and still has them next to my pictures really makes me think about it.She always talked about how much she respects me and how she and all her exs are completely over, she is 100 percent into this relationship and has got rid of all the things and deleted everything she has from past relationships. Never cheated on me or anything... blah blah... I never looked into anyone's PC history before, I found it completely breaking into someone's privacy. But after I found this I kind of felt that I needed to do this. And of course I found his facebook profile in her history, she searched for him even few weeks ago. I feel bad for looking at it as I never really broke into someones privacy before but I really had to it now. But I am really not proud of it.
Until this we were perfectly happy. Planned to live together in a few months. Even talked about getting married. Blah blah. It all seems ****** now. I mean if she had something with him while we were together for 3 months there is no way I could stay with her any longer. But yet again we are so close and I don't know what would I do without her.
Now, I still haven't told her about this and I am really afraid to bring up this topic as it may lead to our break-up. Or should I just try to forget it because there is nothing we can do anymore... It happened like 9 months ago.
I don't really know what to do, so any help would be good
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friends and their dating problems
I have a friend (no really, I do) who likes this guy. I'm very happy for her, but there are some red flags. She expects me to agree with every great thing she says about him, then when she's feeling that the situation is hopeless she wants me to agree as well. This new guy she's spending time with:1. His ex girlfriend just had a baby last month
2. He doesn't work, but he only texts her at night
3. He spends the night (she says they do not have sex)
4. His ex-girlfriend has his phone sometimes and he says that she was
upset when she read their text messages.
5. He won't give her a solid answer. He tells her time will tell.
6. He hasn't taken her out on a date.She tells me how unbreakable she feels their bond is. She says being with him is like "looking in the mirror." I feel that this guy may be bad news, but I feel badly about it. She is the type to think that people are jealous, but this guy sounds like a creep to me. I'm kind of torn. On one hand I want to give her my honest opinion, but on the other hand I feel like she only accepts the good things. She constantly talks about him, and it's a bit annoying to keep having to find positive things about this situation. Have you ever been in a similar situation?
Very much so. My best friend and I are very united in our feelings about relationship-communication things, though... we give honest opinions, but we're still supportive. It's a hard line to toe sometimes, but that's what we do.I've dated my fair share of creepers, and she was there for me when they'd hurt me and nodded along when I was happy with how things were. She always supported me regardless of how I was feeling about them at the time. Do I think you should just let your friend get dragged through the mud because of this guy? No. What my best friend did was she'd say something honestly to me when I was feeling good about the guy--something like "It doesn't bother you that he just had a baby with this girl, though?", because I went through that too--and even if I wanted to see him in rainbow lights, that little question from someone I love and trust was in the back of my head and ultimately played a part in my breaking up with the guy.
It depends on how much you value your friendship with this person. If you see this guy as being dangerous or something, then you definitely need to voice your opinion. If he's just obnoxious or a loser...well, there's not too much you can do about that. Be as supportive of her as you can, and once in a while in casual, relative conversation just ask an innocent question about him. That way, you'll have your "old" friend back once they break up, because she'll realize you've been there for her this whole time.
And, one day, you'll probably sit down together over margaritas and she'll say, "God, I was dumb."
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Truth is, even if you tell her, she will still see him and defend him. Sometimes you have let people make their mistakes, so they can learn from them. Either way she is not going to listen. But as a true friend I would voice my opinion about it.
You are good friend to her, so I think u should tell her about him and tell her forget him cuz he is not for truestable man..You may not create new Love Advice Forum threadsYou may not post repliesYou may not post attachmentsYou may not edit your postsForum Rules