Ben and I were the first ones to arrive at Luke and Marni’s Memorial Day barbecue.
“We come bearing rosé, mayo-free potato salad, and cupcakes,” I announced. “I made the potato salad. Ben made the cupcakes.”
Marni gave our offerings a once-over.
“Is that peanut butter frosting?” she asked.
“It is,” Ben said proudly.
Marni sighed. “Clearly I can’t go on a tirade about how I never see you guys anymore now. I’m eating one of those cupcakes before they’re gone.”
“So who all is coming today?” I asked.
“What she really means is, how many of her exes will be in attendance?” Ben teased. I elbowed him in the ribs.
Marni confirmed that Mike and Ed would both be in attendance, as well as Jane, David and Milo. I let her know that Jenna and Candy would be arriving at some point.
Ben and I got drinks – rosé for me and a beer for him – and headed outside to say hi to Luke. He was at his usual spot next to the grill, Olivia sitting on the picnic table next to him, chatting away. As we were catching up, out walked Mike, Ed, and an extremely tall, impossibly stunning woman. Ed, who was leading the pack, saw me and briefly hesitated before walking over.
“Hey Luke,” he said, giving Luke a pat on the back. “Hi, K.”
“Hi Ed. Hi Mike.” I turned to the woman. “Hi. I’m K.”
“That’s my fiancé,” Ed said. “Debbie.”
“Ed,” she said in a British accent. “I’m perfectly capable of introducing myself. Hello, K. Nice to meet you.” She turned to Ben. “And you are?”
“Ben. K.’s boyfriend.”
Ed pretended he had never met Ben before. Mike, to his credit, acted like a normal human being. Debbie, it turns out, is a former model (Ed made sure to point that out) turned fashion editor. Given the fact that Ed’s ex-wife could be a Megan Fox impersonator and his fiancé looks like she belongs in a lingerie catalog, I'm starting to think that maybe we didn’t work out because I’m too normal looking. Not that I’m complaining. I wouldn’t trade Ben for anyone, let alone a weirdo like Ed.
Jane, David and Milo arrived shortly thereafter. Milo settled in with Olivia, and Jane and I caught up while David chatted with Ben. Jenna and Candy showed up about a half-hour later, and shortly after they arrived, Debbie approached our group.
“Candace?” she asked, a look of surprise on her face. “Is that you?”
Candy looked panicked. “Uh, hi Debbie,” she said. She quickly introduced Debbie to the group, and after some awkward small talk, Debbie went back to Ed, who had been casting worried glances on our group ever since she’d left him to come talk to Candy.
“How do you know her?” Jenna asked.
“We knew each other in college,” Candy said. It was very clearly not the whole story, but her firm tone said she wouldn’t be discussing it further.
On the way out, Ben and I tossed around theories. Sorority enemies? Former lovers? (Me: Ew Ben, don’t say “lovers.”) Drug runners? Nothing really seemed plausible, so we gave up. I’m sure Jenna will tell me. If Candy ever tells her. Color me intrigued.
Posted at 10:02 PM
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