3 Chemicals Your Body Makes On Dates

Love is a chemical reaction. Wondering how to understand your feelings? It's chemical. Video

We are all a walking chemistry factory.  Everything we do.  Every action we make, affects our chemistry. I’m not talking about chemicals from drugs we take but the ones we make on our own.  It’s the chemicals created in our bodies that directly coincide with dating. 

Meeting people, falling in and out of love can be quite an exciting thrill seeking ride. Watch the video below to see what chemicals you're making when you date.

More from YourTango: Why Aren't We Having Sex?

Anyone can be surprised at how simple it is to dramatically change and improve your dating experiences.  I like to remind everyone that they don’t have to be perfect dating is all about practice.  So remember the person you’re with doesn’t have to be “the one” it can just be someone. 

Take these opportunities to learn from the experiences and interactions that come with dating which is a process I personally like to call "rehearsal dating." Now practice the tips shown in the video above and make sure to let me know how it goes.  All you have to do is leave any questions or comments below.       

P.S. If you're serious about relationship chemistry and commitment take these tips into consideration.

More from YourTango: Smart Successful Women: Do I Have To Dummy Down To Get A Guy?

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Thank you James!
I just went out with a guy who is just the way you described it (feminine energy man), and was such a turn off! He started as a ten and as you mentioned, he did not give me any material, nor protected me (he actually crashed his bike against mine and I fell off the ground), and he cares about his feelings, not mine. So even though he seems like an amazing guy (in so many other areas), all these things put together were such a turnoff! And he keeps himself poor! Jees...Thank you for putting it in such a clean cut way!

 Do you give too much?  Do you have trouble receiving? When you understand what to say and how to say it to a man you will attract and keep the man you want to be with for the rest of your life. Having been alone for many years I know how painful and frustrating it can be not to know why or what to do or say. However as a result of what I want to share with you I'm now happily married. It's been a long journey and I want the same for you because in the end love is all that matters. It's possible and you deserve to be loved for who you are inside. Contact me and find your way back to love from the "Inside out Outside in"..

Much love,

James

Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support

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How Men Screw Up First Dates And How To Avoid Making Them

I get a lot of guys who write in to ask me how to behave around*women. Many of those questions focus on the first meeting or the*first date.

I thought I’d share a concept that I feel is VITAL to understand if you’re wondering how to behave around a woman you've just met.

A Mistake Almost Every Guy Makes:
I’ve noticed a KEY difference between the way men and women act when they meet a “potential mate.”

Women usually act in a way that can be characterized like this:

“You’re interesting to me. I’d like to get to know you better, and we can see where this goes.”

Men usually act in a way that can be characterized like this:

“I am so interested in you that I’m nervous. In fact, I’m already thinking of you as a potential girlfriend or wife… or at least a one-night stand.”

In other words, women are usually casual and laid-back when they’re first meeting a guy…

But GUYS tend to act like every girl is a POTENTIAL WIFE.
As you can imagine, this creates a lot of tension and pressure.

And I’m not talking about the GOOD kind, but the kind that makes men shiver and shake with nervousness, and women feel uncomfortable because the MAN is acting uncomfortable.

I KNOW that you can relate to this in some way.

The Answer:

The simple solution to this is…

DON’T DO IT

If you start acting all freakish and nervous when you’re talking to a woman, stop yourself and try one of the different approaches I teach.

My favorite is to ASSUME that every woman has SOMETHING that’s going to annoy me, bother me, or SCREW UP HER
CHANCES with me.

The MAIN reason that I do this is…

SURPRISE…

BECAUSE IT'S TRUE!

Duh.

The fact is that MOST women are NOT compatible “long term” with most men. In other words, if you do get into a long-term relationship with a particular woman, the chances are that she’s going to have things about her that you don’t like.

One of my favorite Cocky & Funny themes to follow is “You’re screwing up your chances with me”.
Let’s say I’m walking down the street with a girl to have a cup of tea. Let’s assume that she and I just met the night before,

I got her number, and now we’re walking from my place to tea.
On the way, she trips over the doorway or spills her tea.

I might look at her, shake my head in an “overly dramatic fake annoyed” way, and say “This relationship just isn’t going to work” or “What did I tell you about this kind of behavior?”.

In other words, I’m communicating the very OPPOSITE of “You’re a potential wife.” I’m saying “I’m so comfortable around you that I can even make fun of you without caring what you think of me”.

Does this sound a little crazy? Good. It should.

But trust me

If you spend a couple of hours having regular, normal conversation… being Cocky & Funny, enjoying yourself, and generally demonstrating that you could care less how things turn out, you’ll be FAR more likely to take things further than if you act as if she might be the love of your life and you wind up acting so nervous, stilted, and DUMB that she runs away.

Lean back. Be cool. Make jokes about her screwing up her chances with you. Tell her that she’s a nice friend. Assume that she has qualities that are going to annoy you, then point them out (in a Cocky & Funny way, of course).
Don’t lose your composure. It can be fatal if you do.

Another note:

Most guys don’t “get” women.

They look for tricks and “pick up lines ”when it comes time to LEARN how to meet women and don’t realize that all the tricks in the world aren't going to help them if they don’t UNDERSTAND what’s “going on”.

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Bottoms Up! 7 Dates For Beer Lovers

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Cheers! Here's where to get your brew on this fall.

Oktoberfest starts Saturday! Can't make it Germany? Grab your significant other and get your brew on at one of these awesome venues around the country. Cheers! 

1. Throwback Thursday-Fest
Check out Pilsener Haus Biergarten in Hoboken on Thursday, September 26 for some seasonal brews and retro pop throwbacks. The venue has a beer and bratwurst happy hour special, and will be playing hits from the 80s and 90s from 8 pm to midnight. Offering both indoor and outdoor seating Pilsner Haus prides itself on being "the only authentic beer garden in New Jersey." Throwback attire not included.

pilsenerhaus.com

2. Fun For The Whole Family-Fest
The Great Northwest Oktoberfest located in the heart of downtown Whitefish, Montana offers fun and games for all ages. With competitions like log sawing, keg throwing and a kid's chicken dance contest, there's sure to be a little something for everyone (in addition to the abundant local and imported beer specials). The festival spans two weekends, September 26 to the 28th, and October 3 to 5.

whitefishoktoberfest.com

3. Brew Your Own-Fest
Who said anything about traveling? Create your own Mini-Oktoberfest right in your own kitchen! The Brooklyn Brewshop is famous for it’s beer making kits, all available online for just $40. With flavors ranging from Summer Wheat to Chocolate Maple, you're sure to find a draft you love. And if you wanted to spice things up with a sexy German Beer Maiden ensemble … we won't judge you. After all, 'tis the season!

brooklynbrewshop.com

4. So-Cal Sunny-Fest
Alpine Village hosts the largest annual Oktoberfest celebration in Southern California and is held every Friday and Saturday night up through October 27. In addition to providing patrons with thirteen different brews to choose from and almost twenty different shops to browse, this Oktoberfest is known for it’s charitable donations. This year's recipients include the South Bay Center for Counseling, Chive L.A., AIDS Walk L.A., and multiple Boy Scout groups. If you grow a little tired (or bloated) from all of the beer, this venue hosts a Champagne Brunch from 10 o'clock to 2 o'clock in the afternoon every Sunday.

alpinevillagecenter.com

5. Beer AND Wine-Fest
Take a trip to Southwest Harbor, Maine to experience the 18th annual Acadia Oktoberfest. Traditional German beers will be served on October 12, preceded by the 4th annual Wine and Cheese Festival on the 11th. At the cost of $27 a couple, wine and cheese night is accompanied by jazz entertainment and local refreshments, while the beer festival full admission ticket includes all-day access to the brew tent, 10 sampling tickets and a souvenir beer mug. The best part? This venue offers a shuttle bus to take you to and from the event safely. Sounds good to us!

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6. Bostonian Beer-fest
Check out Harpoon Oktoberfest in Boston on October 4-5 for a serious day of seasonal fun. Bostonians are famous for their ability to out drink almost anyone, and Harpoon beer sponsors a full day of authentic fun and games, including keg bowling and German chocolate cake-eating, alongside the gorgeous New England fall foliage. The doors close at 7:30 on Saturday so be sure to get there early!

Boston.com

7. Rock-tober Fest
If you're looking for some non-polka entertainment to wash down with your beer, check out La Crosse Oktoberfest located in Wisconsin. Rock and roll icon Bret Michaels will be performing on Monday, September 30, after the traditional buffet style Lederhosen Luncheon. If you're looking for some weekend fun, check out the Craft Beer Night on Friday, October 4 for unlimited sampling of guest brews for just $25.

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10 Valuable Lessons From Terrible First Dates

One lesson? If he shows up drunk, just go home. We've all been there. Now, here are the unexpected takeaways.

The best part about dating is that horrifying dates are inevitable. If you're shaking your head and wondering what's so "best," about that statement, then maybe you're the type who's never learned a lesson from a truly disastrous date. Bad dates are for learning, you guys.

We took to social media to see what people had learned after first dates from hell. It's hard to tell what's scarier from the stories we received: the dates, or the actual lessons the men and women were forced to learn. We'll let you be the judge.

1. Agreeing To A Health Food Restaurant For A First Date Won't End Well. 
Emily probably should have known better when a date suggested that they meet at the healthiest of health food restaurants in town. However, the reality of the situation didn’t sink in until after she ordered a creamy dressing at the restaurant, and her date said, "Ugh. That's gross. Creamy dressing is sick. Sickening. Nasty. Oh man, I feel like I'm going to barf." Then he tightly grabbed her arm, looked her right in the face and said, "Look, pretty girl — don't ever let me catch you eating mayonnaise." Emily picked up her bag and snuck out the back door with the stealth of Batman.

Lesson? "Don't go out with guys who schedule first dates at healthy restaurants. Have a drink. Relax. Eat some mayonnaise, if you like."

2. Computer Programmers Have A Weird Sense Of Humor
If the bottom of the email after your first date reads the following, then you know you've got a desperate attempt at both funny and love on your hands. Can we say awkward?

"This program uses a novel algorithm to quantitatively analyze and assess characteristics of Jessica--------'s male suitors (includes real-time objective quantitative data on charisma and personality, goals-set/goals-attained ratios, penis size [and associated wielding skills], potential for a happy and successful future, probability of divorce, various dating statistics among 768 other int value data inputs).

The compiled algorithm yields object [name] of Jessica's best match, saving much valuable time and opening up a world of unprecedented happiness."

Lesson? "When the talk goes to his penis — he also claimed in another email that followed that he was well-endowed — block him on gmail, then laugh at him with your friends."

3. Vampires Aren't As Cool As They Are In The Movies
The idea of gifts, in general, is great! But when your date asks if he can buy you a pair of fangs before you even meet him IRL, something is up. However, if you ignore this blaring warning, as Diana did and, to quote her, "get stupid and go out with him anyway, because he's THAT good looking, don’t be surprised when he tells you he thinks he's a vampire, and that he thinks you're one, too." Sigh.

Lesson? "No matter how good looking he is, just say 'no' to dudes who think they’re starring in The Lost Boys."

4. Never, Ever Date A Local Yokel Celebrity
Colleen thought the local weatherman seemed rather charming when he asked her out. But that's where the charm ended. She explains, "The aura of 'I am a local celebrity so you should be impressed' is palpable. Also, he used weather terminology in bed. 'Expect heavy precipitation in my Southern Hemisphere'?? I wish I was making that up."

Lesson? "Celebrities, big and small, are all delusional." And on that note ...

5. ...Don't Date Former Disney Stars. Ever.
Honestly, if we look at former Disney stars, there's a lot of wonky going on there. A shouldn't have agreed to be set up with this particular star when her friend suggested a double date, but he was famous so it could be fun, she thought. The former teen heartthrob spent the entire evening either snorting coke or trying to score more coke — the ENTIRE evening.

Lesson? "If someone tries to set you up with a former child star, JUST SAY NO, no matter how good his hair is." Keep Reading ...

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9 Summer Dates Inspired By YOLO

What's a better way to celebrate that love than by jumping out of a plane? Seven dates that will get your adrenaline pumping.

You only live once, you say? Then why not start acting like it? There's nothing that makes the adrenaline junkie feel more alive than when the norepinephrine, dopamine and endorphins kick in because you're doing something that's both scaring and thrilling you. That level of intensity is sometimes even better than sex.

So those of you out there who have a need for speed, the desire to be terrified out of your mind and lucky enough to have found someone who shares this idea of fun, here are seven thrilling dates that will get your adrenaline pumping and bring you two even closer.

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1. Departure Roulette
Would you be willing to skip that week-long trip back home and head to a mysterious location? Heineken recently asked travelers in JFK to take their spontaneity to the next level by ditching their travel plans and letting a board assign them a new, random place. If you're not lucky enough to spot Heineken at your terminal, make a DIY destination board with your partner featuring weekend getaways within driving distance that you know little about. Then, spin the wheel, drop everything and get ready to explore a new spot without an itinerary.

stuff.co.nz
2. Skydiving 
Fear of heights? No way! You're the type who lives for heights! So what's a better way to celebrate that love than by jumping out of a plane? Although I've yet to do it, I've heard from friends that after a few quick lessons, you're ready to go and the experience will forever change you. I mean, you did just free fall from thousands and thousand of feet above the air.

kymbee.com
3. Water skiing
Talk about an awesome summer date! Not only do you get the thrill of being dragged along by a boat, but it's an amazing way to cool off in this ridiculous heat. It may take some practice to learn to stand on those skis without falling into the water, but in the end, the rush that comes with it will have you addicted in no time.

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4. Base Jumping
Although you can probably do this one on your own if you happen across a proper a cliff that drops into the ocean, it might be best to actually pay a bit and do it somewhere where you're less likely to kill yourself. The key to making this a successful date is to jump as far out as you can, enjoy the free fall into the water below, and not bang your head on any rocks on the way down.

5000plus.net.au
5. Zip lining
If you've yet to try this, it might be the one on this list to start with before you really dive into true adrenaline junkie activities. Buckled safely into a harness, then attached to a zip line, you get to literally zip from one point, usually a tree or other secure place, to another point. Depending on where you do it, you can find yourself zipping over rivers, ravines and other places that when you look down, your stomach is definitely going to act pretty queasy. Enjoy!

 
gearjunkie.com
6. Highlining
I had never heard of this one, until a friend mentioned it to me. Basically, you walk a tight rope (yes, just like they do in the circus), without any safety equipment, and hope to hell you make it to the other side. If you choose to try this over water, then it's called waterlining.

 
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7. Get Inked
Afraid of needles? What better time than now to overcome it? After all, your partner is there to hold on to your hand for dear life. While we don't reccomend getting your partner's name or matching hearts drawn across your body, why not have your guy pick out something you'd like and vice-versa? With a permanent reminder in sight, this will be one date you really can't forget.

blog.themeadowsofmemphis.com
8. Rock climbing
Along with water skiing, this is probably the most strenuous onyour body, but totally worth it for the excitement. If you do your research and find a place that has a great view once you've reached the top, all that work on your legs and arms will give you complete permission to just drop to the ground like Jell-O and enjoy it all.

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9. Running of the Bulls
If you've yet to be inspired by the above dates, then why dont you really put the fear of god in yourself by running with the bulls. Although the most famous "running" is in Pamplona during the seven-day festival of Sanfermines, you can also get in on the action in Spain, Portugal, Mexico, Nevada, and Southern France. Now that's some seriously YOLO right there.

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5 Great Gatsby-Themed Dates [PHOTOS]

How do you channel your inner-Daisy Buchanan? Can't wait for the film adaptation this summer? Here's how to bring the Roaring '20s to date night.

The film adaptation of The Great Gatsby hits theaters this summer and if Director Baz Luhrmann's latest film is anything like his other colorful, musical love stories (Moulin Rouge and Romeo & Juliet just to name a few), it's bound to be a blockbuster hit.

In case you need a refresher (sans Sparknotes), the novel is set in the summer of 1922 and follows narrator Nick Carraway who rents a small house on Long Island across from the sprawling estate of the enigmatic Jay Gatsby. The Great Gatsby provides a snapshot into a glorious age in America's history — the Roaring Twenties — a time of booming economy, flappers and jazz musicians, bootleggers and gangsters. And it was perhaps the first time in history when Americans truly felt liberated in their sexuality as individuals.

More from YourTango: 26 Things Ideal Girlfriends Do

But above all else, it's a love story and we fully expect Leonardo Dicaprio and Carey Mulligan to steam up the silver screen as the dashing Jay Gatsby and his love from the past, the darling Daisy Buchanan.

So needless to say, it's one of the sexiest books of all time. (Still don’t believe us? Did you know that before he decided on a title, the author considered calling his story The High-Bouncing Lover?)

Excited yet? Jazz it up with one of these five date ideas inspired by The Great American Novel. They would make F. Scott Fitzgerald proud.

More from YourTango: Weird News: Man Steals & Swallows An Engagement Ring

VIEW THE GALLERY: 5 GREAT GATSBY-THEMED DATES [PHOTOS]

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When women are taken on dates, do they expect and want a man to make a move on them?

I am in my mid 20s, and many times I would wait until the 3rd or 4th date before really getting things rolling with the physical stuff. However, I'm starting to wonder if it's just the same to do it on the 1st or 2nd date.

My question is: Do women want and expect a man to make a move on them by the first or second date if they like the guy? Is it a big disappointment for them if nothing happens?
*Note: By "something happening", i mean: holding hands, kissing, etc. It doesn't have to be sex. Thanks for your time.

I wouldn't say women in general expect it, but I am sure they are prepared for it. Maybe some like the way you do things, but I am also sure that most women would not mind being touched on first or second dates. It is no big deal really.

I wouldn't say women in general expect it, but I am sure they are prepared for it. Maybe some like the way you do things, but I am also sure that most women would not mind being touched on first or second dates. It is no big deal really.Thanks man. To be honest, I usually wait until the 2nd or 3rd date, but have recently been wondering if I could just do it on the first and it would be fine. For years I've assumed that women would be horrified if a guy they liked made a move on them on a first date. Recently, I have been reconsidering that stance.

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Creative First Dates: Think Outside the Cafe [EXPERT]

Abandon the Coffee Date - Transform your first dates from an interview to an adventure.

How many more getting-to-know-you first and second dates will you go on before you meet The One?  Would you even really want to know that answer?  Maybe not, huh? 

The secret to having GREAT dating experiences is to make each and every date an adventure.  A memorable, enriching event that gives you the chance not only to explore possibilities with a new prospective partner but also to engage in an activity that will be inpiring and worthwhile, whether the person you're with is a Keeper...or not.

Here's what some of our Cupid's Coach Clients have been doing on their first dates.

Jonathan and Susie are both surfers and she'd been wanting to try Stand-Up Paddle Boarding, so their first date was at the beach.  He brought the boards, she brought the picnic lunch and they had an absolute blast. 

Maggie and Stan met at the Getty Centerhttp://www.getty.edu/ to see the Gustav Klimt exhibit, which inspired lively conversation over Chardonnay and Pinot Noir afterward.

Bruce learned on his first date with Amanda that she loves gardening, cooking and entertaining and the Olympics.  He asked her to join him at the Farmer's Market http://www.farmersmarketla.com/on a gorgeous Saturday morning, after which they bonded over burgers at a sports bar and cheered on the US gymnasts. 

Laura and Rob are both dog lovers, and their first date was at the park, with dogs in tow.  They both brought snacks and drinks and they spent a delicious afternoon together people watching, dog play and enjoying each other's company.

Mark and Samantha met at a wine tasting and got to know each other over the study of Cabernets and Pinots.  They didn't click romantically, but now he knows the difference between a Merlot and a Zinfandel, and he's happy for that.

What's the purpose of the date?  To fall madly in love?  Well, ideally so.  And yet the reality is that the vast majority of people you meet up with for a first or second date don't end up being Keepers, at least in a romantic sense.  If you can broaden the interpretation of the purpose of the date, you'll find that it's never a waste of time, energy or money.  Our Clientshttp://www.cupidscoach.com are discovering all kinds of creative first and second date adventures. 

Make a list of activities you've been wanting to experience and offer up some fun suggestions when you next hear the words...."Shall we meet for coffee?"

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5 Tips to Find More Dates with Women, and Zumba? [EXPERT]

If you lost your motivation for dating or online dating, here are 5 tips to approach and find women.

One-liners may initially get a woman’s attention; however, what are you doing to keep the conversation going? I often get asked by my male client’s how they can get more dates. I often ask why first. Why do you want to date women? If you’re just focused on numbers or sex, then you’re not going to get many numbers, or go on many second dates. If you're stuck in the online dating world, and don't know how to get past the first face-to-face these tips will help you too. Below are 5 tips on how to talk to women more easily if the fear of approaching one makes you tongue-tied after hello.

1. Focus on her, not you.

Don’t let anxieties of being shot down or approaching a woman turn you off from talking to a woman. If they choose not to respond to you, it is not about you. It’s about them. They may not be looking for anyone, they have their own insecurities, or they are not interested.

If you are focused on what you’re going to say next or the thoughts in your head, she will pick up on the fact that she does not have 100% of your attention. Why? You’re too focused on yourself. Bottom line, if you’re both listening to your own thoughts or you get distracted by something else…, then you aren’t in a conversation with someone else in the first place!

The mere thought of having to initiate a conversation with other people, let alone a woman, can be draining, intimidating, and daunting for introverts. This isn’t bad; it’s just the way it is. Just remember, half of the population is introverted, so it can be equally hard for women to respond back…Especially after a long week of work for both of you. It’s doable, and is easiest to do when you are doing things that you enjoy doing.

2. Ask open-ended questions.

The difference between a close-ended question and an open-ended question is that when you ask a close-ended question the answer is either yes or no. An open-ended question uses What, When, Where, How and Why, but the purpose behind asking the questions is to illicit someone else’s opinions, thoughts, and feelings.
Before you head out the door, create a list of 5 or 10 things you can talk about—be it current events, politics, sports, or a hobby—and be open to listening and hearing differing opinions.

3. Be yourself.

We pick up on nonverbal body language faster than we register what you’re saying. This means if you are only interested in getting a number to get a date, we understand this on a visceral level, before we’ve even responded to what you’ve said.

One thing to think about is if you’re only interested in getting a number, then most women are not interested in you. We want to feel and be special. For us to give you our number or talk to you longer than 2 minutes, we need to feel a connection. Even if we’re physically attracted to you, this doesn’t mean we’re going to give you our contact information. If you’re relaxed, being honest, and genuinely interested in what we think and feel, then we may let our guard down long enough to see who you are as a person too.

4. If you do approach a woman at a bar or club, then bring a friend.

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