So, Is There A Cheat Sheet On Making Love Last Forever?

In what is shaping up to be the sweetest surprise of the year, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie finally decided to "make it official". With 10 years (and a growing family) under their belt, seeing how in love they are totally gives us hope. Even after being together for years, there's something beautiful about still being able to get that feeling of butterlies in our stomachs whenever our significant other looks at us. We all want to have that special connection with someone that makes us feel like waking up next to them in the morning is the best part of our day. Seeing so many people falling — and staying  in love seriously makes us wonder if there's a guidebook lying around that can show us all how to approach relationships. Seriously, can someone hook us up with the secret to finding real love — And actually making it work?

Hearing Human Behavior Researcher Dr. Helen Fisher, along with Senior VP Melanie Gorman, Therapist SaraKay Smullens, Relationship Retreat Guide Mary Ellen Goggin and Clinical Psychologist Dr. Alicia H. Clark talk about the science of love and the formula behind making things works makes us feel so relieved. In the beginning stages of a relationship, we sometimes spend so much time stressing over the little things, such as how we look or what we should wear on our dates, when we should really be getting to know the person. It doesn't happen overnight; being in it for the long haul means being willing to work on your bond (as well as work through your differences) with your partner and having more than just sexual chemistry and a superficial attraction. Having a long lasting relationship really isn't as complicated as we think — we honestly just have to work at it. The fact that there is even science to prove this makes us even more convinced!

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'N SYNC, And 7 More Music Preferences Making You Undateable

Everyone loves a good 90's throwback song — but if you're going on a date with one of these guys, you  might want to keep your long-standing relationship with 'N SYNC, to yourself.

Read on to see what other bands, soundtracks, and music tastes caused these men to press pause.

1. Heavy Metal
"A girl I dated in college listened to heavy metal. The kind where the singers are screaming, and you can't understand what they're even saying, and every instrument blends into one sound. It sounds like nails on a chalkboard...or cats mating." -Frank, 26

2. Modern Country
"Modern Country, like the Zac Brown Band. It's just a pastiche of declining trends being sold to middle-america under a sheen of pseudo-sentimentality. Modern country is just really bad rock n' roll." -Chad, 37

3. Dance, Trance, or Rave
"No, I will not take you out dancing to this kind of music. I can't believe they give out Grammys for being really good at computers..." -Steve, 45

4. The Grease Soundtrack
"What is it about these songs from Grease that fascinate women so much? If I have to hear 'You're the one that I want ooh ooh ooh' one more time I think I am going to scream!" -Dan, 33

5. Hip-Hop
"I hate going to the clubby places that play this kind of music. The music is cranked so loud, and I don't dance. The hip-hop scene is not something I'm into, so I wouldn't date a woman who is into it." -Kyle, 22

6. Rent
"I can't take a girl seriously when she starts telling me how the soundtrack to Rent is the most powerful, moving music she's ever listened to. That song about there being 52,600 minutes is so monotonous and annoying." -James, 27

7. Boy Bands
"I dated a girl who had an entire playlist dedicated to boy bands, old and new, from 'N SYNC, to One Direction. I'm sorry, but you're 28 years old, it's time to let your music tastes evolve." -Justin, 28

8. "Anything I can dance to"
"Not only is this a ridiculously vague answer to the question, 'What kind of music do you like?' but it's also subjective to the girl's dance abilities. It doesn't tell me anything about what you like, and it makes you sound kind of vapid." -Carl, 32

5. Yeah, so I'll be out here for the next few days if anyone needs me.

wehearit.com

6. OMG. This is so much better than chasing a ball.

wehearit.com

8. Why would I go for a walk when I can go for a ride?

wehearit.com

10. I was going to be productive today but then I got in the pool.

wehearit.com

11. Yeah, I went to Coachella ... both weekends.

wehearit.com

14. Care to join me? There's room for one more.

wehearit.com

16. Can I get a cocktail out here when you get a chance?

wehearit.com

16. It's not even my birthday but I think we should celebrate anyway.

wehearit.com

1. Did someone say ROAD TRIP?

wehearit.com

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I feel bad about making her jealous

I met a girl about a month ago (let's call her girl A) and slept with her on the same night. We had both just been cheated on and neither of us wanted a relationship, but we started seeing each other once or twice a week. About a week ago I invited her over for dinner (second time) but she ended up cancelling on me. She told me that she had gone to her ex to pick up her things and it had caused her to start thinking a lot. She said she could only offer me friendship and that we could meet up for a movie instead. I declined. I said I don't appreciate her cancelling our plans; that I had already bought ingredients for the dinner and all that. I didn't act like a dick or anything, but I let her know that I am interested in more than just friendship with her and that she should call me if she changed her mind.

A few days ago I coincidentally ran into her while she was working at the café. I was there to kill some time while I waited for another girl (girl B) I had just met, with whom I was supposed to watch a movie with just around the corner. I chatted a bit with girl A and told her I was going to watch a movie in a bit. I didn't tell her anything about girl B. I had assumed girl A was back together with her ex, but when I asked her she said no. She said that she has been in and out of relationships for too long and that she needed a break. So I told her that I think it's a good thing for her and that if she wants to get together to let me know. Then she said that she thought I didn't want to see her anymore. I explained that I just didn't feel like being only a friend while she was in a relationship with someone else, but otherwise we could hang out. She told me that she was working at the café again next weekend and that I should come by. I thought that was a stupid idea because we can't really hang out 100% if she is working. For some reason I didn't say that though.

Girl B called me and told me she didn't feel like seeing the movie. So I told her that was messed up because I had come to the city just to meet with her and see the movie. We agreed that she would come to the café instead. I actually thought that was a better idea because we would have a better opportunity to talk and get to know each other. I also thought it might be a good way to make girl A jealous, but I wasn't 100% sure about that because I felt it wasn't a nice thing to do! I decided to see what would happen anyway. I ordered coffee together with girl B and girl A seemed kind of bothered. Then I thought it would be better for us to sit upstairs out of view of girl A. When I came to the bar again (alone) girl A asked if I wasn't going to the movie and I told her no. She asked why and I could tell from the way she asked that she was really bothered. I just told her I had changed my mind. I made a little small talk with her every time I came to the bar.

Eventually I realized that I wasn't attracted to girl B at all and I started feeling worse about making girl A jealous. Girl B and I eventually came downstairs within view of the bar to watch a guy playing guitar. Girl B and I didn't really talk or sit very near each other. I was totally uninterested at this poitn and all I was thinking about was girl A. I thought it might be good that she saw I wasn't interacting with girl B. Eventually girl B left and I stayed. I thought about going so that maybe girl A would think I went home with girl B, but at this point I was feeling so bad about making her jealous that I actually wanted her to see there was nothing serious with the other girl. I just didn't want her to feel bad or have negative thoughts about me. I stayed at the café and left about half an hour before closing time. I'm still not sure if I did the right things. As I was about to leave girl A asked me when I was leaving and I told her "now I guess." She said "we will talk" or something like that, and I agreed.

So now I'm not sure how to proceed and I'm thinking I should probably not contact girl A at all. I think I should wait for her to call me but what if she thinks I'm a dick and never calls me again? I'm considering calling her in about a week and asking her to meet up. Then we will have a chance to talk. My gut is telling me don't call her at all, but on the other hand I'm afraid I'll never see her again.

And this is all despite the fact that neither of us wants a relationship. And that's another thing. If we have already let each other know this, then what's with the "I need to be single for a while" thing? I never asked her to be my gf, we were just having fun. So what's the problem? I guess either she was falling for me or lost interest. What do you think? Girls, how would you feel after this half-assed jealousy stunt? Should I ever call her again? Do you think she still likes me, do you think that she is more interested now?

My guesses: she likes me but felt like we were getting too boyfriend/girlfriend-like, which she didn't want. The jealousy thing sort of worked and she is wondering about me now. Although I feel a little bad about it, I don't think she thinks I'm a dick. I should not call her. Yay or nay?

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How Men Screw Up First Dates And How To Avoid Making Them

I get a lot of guys who write in to ask me how to behave around*women. Many of those questions focus on the first meeting or the*first date.

I thought I’d share a concept that I feel is VITAL to understand if you’re wondering how to behave around a woman you've just met.

A Mistake Almost Every Guy Makes:
I’ve noticed a KEY difference between the way men and women act when they meet a “potential mate.”

Women usually act in a way that can be characterized like this:

“You’re interesting to me. I’d like to get to know you better, and we can see where this goes.”

Men usually act in a way that can be characterized like this:

“I am so interested in you that I’m nervous. In fact, I’m already thinking of you as a potential girlfriend or wife… or at least a one-night stand.”

In other words, women are usually casual and laid-back when they’re first meeting a guy…

But GUYS tend to act like every girl is a POTENTIAL WIFE.
As you can imagine, this creates a lot of tension and pressure.

And I’m not talking about the GOOD kind, but the kind that makes men shiver and shake with nervousness, and women feel uncomfortable because the MAN is acting uncomfortable.

I KNOW that you can relate to this in some way.

The Answer:

The simple solution to this is…

DON’T DO IT

If you start acting all freakish and nervous when you’re talking to a woman, stop yourself and try one of the different approaches I teach.

My favorite is to ASSUME that every woman has SOMETHING that’s going to annoy me, bother me, or SCREW UP HER
CHANCES with me.

The MAIN reason that I do this is…

SURPRISE…

BECAUSE IT'S TRUE!

Duh.

The fact is that MOST women are NOT compatible “long term” with most men. In other words, if you do get into a long-term relationship with a particular woman, the chances are that she’s going to have things about her that you don’t like.

One of my favorite Cocky & Funny themes to follow is “You’re screwing up your chances with me”.
Let’s say I’m walking down the street with a girl to have a cup of tea. Let’s assume that she and I just met the night before,

I got her number, and now we’re walking from my place to tea.
On the way, she trips over the doorway or spills her tea.

I might look at her, shake my head in an “overly dramatic fake annoyed” way, and say “This relationship just isn’t going to work” or “What did I tell you about this kind of behavior?”.

In other words, I’m communicating the very OPPOSITE of “You’re a potential wife.” I’m saying “I’m so comfortable around you that I can even make fun of you without caring what you think of me”.

Does this sound a little crazy? Good. It should.

But trust me

If you spend a couple of hours having regular, normal conversation… being Cocky & Funny, enjoying yourself, and generally demonstrating that you could care less how things turn out, you’ll be FAR more likely to take things further than if you act as if she might be the love of your life and you wind up acting so nervous, stilted, and DUMB that she runs away.

Lean back. Be cool. Make jokes about her screwing up her chances with you. Tell her that she’s a nice friend. Assume that she has qualities that are going to annoy you, then point them out (in a Cocky & Funny way, of course).
Don’t lose your composure. It can be fatal if you do.

Another note:

Most guys don’t “get” women.

They look for tricks and “pick up lines ”when it comes time to LEARN how to meet women and don’t realize that all the tricks in the world aren't going to help them if they don’t UNDERSTAND what’s “going on”.

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Kissing Photobombs: 10 Photos Ruined By Couples Making Out

Have you ever had picture hijacked by a couple making out?

Ever take a photo that's so Facebook profile worthy that you want to just stop talking to your friends and upload it right then and there on the dance floor? That is, until you notice the couple going at it in the background. Yup, looks like you've been photobombed — kissing photobombed.

We've started to notice we're not the only ones with photos of ourselves overshadowed by clubgoers who can't keep their hands off each other. Turns out, the entire internet is having the same problem. Couples are making out all over our pictures, stealing the show one hand-on-the-butt at a time.

Take a look at some of the best pictures featuring the newest photobomb epidemic.

1. Nope, can't use this one as next year's Christmas card.

Humorwizard

2. You know you're in Vegas when you can't take a single photo without this background.

3. Forget the homemade sausage, what's their deal? They just meat?

Flickr

4. This one's getting fram— oh wait, no, no, definitely not.

5. Yeah, yeah, pretty dress, can you move to the right? Need to see something.

6. It might be your bachelorette party, but we all know who's having a better time.

Flickr

7. Young love: powerful enough to take attention away from the president. 

carbonated.tv

8. Well, here's something even an obsecure Instagram filter can't hide.

sharenator.com

9. How can two people steal the limelight from a wild and crazy group of 8? Like this.

Flickr

10. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Sometimes we learn this at a young age.

imgur.com

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Making Big Decisions

After much deliberation, Ben and I decided that the Mediterranean restaurant was the way to go. He was really sweet about it, telling me it was important to him that I have my dream wedding, but practicality won out. Unless we’re going to hire a wedding planner, doing the farmhouse will just be too much work. And a wedding planner seems too extravagant. Jenna offered to do it for free, but she’s already my maid of honor, which comes with its own set of obligations. I’d like to minimize the work my friends have to do for my wedding, and maximize the fun.

Ben and I were in the middle of comparing work schedules for the following day and figuring out who would have time to call the restaurant and hammer out the details, when Jenna called. She demanded to be put on speakerphone.

“You guys, I have the perfect space for you,” she began.

“Where are you?” I asked. “It sounds loud.”

“I’m here! Where you’re getting married!”

She gave us the scoop. An old gothic church that had been through various incarnations—nightclub, movie theater, flea market—had been granted historic status, and undergone renovation. They had reopened last week as an event space.

“It’s beautiful,” she said. “They have their own event staff, who handle all of the decorations, and one exclusive caterer, who I’ve worked with before and really like. And it’s totally affordable!”

“When can we see it?” Ben asked. He looked excited.

“Right now! I’ll text you the address!”

Ben and I got dressed and headed out to meet her. When we arrived, there were beautiful people in beautiful clothes spilling out onto the sidewalk. Jenna was waiting for us by the door in skinny black pants, stilettos and a fitted black jacket.

“Um, I don’t think we’re dressed for this,” I said, looking down at my jeans, brown flats and cardigan.

“Sorry. I should have warned you. There’s a fashion event here tonight. It doesn’t matter, though. Come in!”

She ushered us inside, and my mouth dropped. The darkness and heaviness of the church was offset by hundreds, maybe even thousands, of small twinkling lights. Jenna walked us through the various spaces we could use for the ceremony, cocktail hour, etc., and when we got to the large, lush green courtyard, I made my decision.

“Ben, I want to get married here,” I said.

“Me too,” he said, taking my hand.

And! They even had a white, modern-looking chapel space. When we got to that room, Jenna said, “Yeah, they’re going after the wedding market super hard.”

“How is this place affordable?” I asked.

“It has something to do with being listed as a historic site,” Jenna explained. “Because it was a church once, they get some sort of tax break if they perform weddings here, but they lose it if they make over a certain amount. It’s really complicated, but all I know is, you’re getting married here and you won’t blow your budget. And Leslie and I are probably going to have an event here like every week.”

I called this morning, and set up an appointment with the woman who books events. As it turns out, I can be practical and have the wedding of my dreams! Also, do I have the best maid of honor, or what?

Posted at 12:46 PM

Find your date here

Making Progress

James and I both made some progress this week in our writing class. He managed to lighten up his story a bit, and I managed to give my story a little heft.

I added a fight/ambiguous breakup to mine, during which, my main character sleeps with someone else and blogs about it (sound familiar?). She never had any intention of telling her boyfriend, and when he accidentally finds the blog in her internet history, the crap hits the proverbial fan. It’s not done yet, and it doesn’t have a title, but it’s getting there.

When class wrapped up, I asked James if he wanted to get a beer.

“Really?” he asked, surprised. “Yeah, sure.”

We headed to the pub down the street and settled into a booth.

“So how come you changed your mind?” James asked. “I’m assuming you didn’t really have plans last week, because you looked like a deer in headlights when I asked.”

“I am such a bad liar,” I admitted. “The truth is, I wasn’t sure how Ben, my fiancé, would feel if I suddenly made a new guy friend. And I wanted to talk to him about it. Navigating the waters of opposite-sex friendships when you’re in a long-term relationship is tricky.”

“You sound like you’ve been burned by that particular circumstance before,” he said.

“I was,” I admitted, and then told him the (very) abbreviated version of the Sebastian/Brendan debacle.

“But enough about me,” I continued. “I’m talking too much. What’s your story?”

James’ story is that he moved here a year ago from Atlanta, where he’d started a lucrative video production business with his ex-girlfriend. The relationship went south, followed by the business, and he’d packed up and moved here.

“I put all of my stuff into storage down there and just couch-surfed for about six months,” he explained. “Then I got the job, then the apartment, and over the past few months, I’ve been getting settled into the new life. But tell Ben he doesn’t have to worry. I’m completely uninterested in meeting women.”

“Because of the break-up?” I asked. He nodded. “But it’s been a year,” I pointed out. “It’s probably time to get back out there.”

“Nope. I’m done.”

“Forever?”

“Probably.”

“No you’re not.”

“You have this look on your face like you’re taking a mental inventory of your single friends,” he said. “And if you are, don’t.”

“I only have one, really,” I admitted, thinking of Ursula. “But she’s a little crazy at the moment, and probably will be for at least a couple of months. Maybe you’ll be ready by them.”

“Don’t count on it.”

James and I finished our beers and called it a night. I have a feeling we’re going to do this after every class. Maybe I’ll even invite Ben along next time. Or Ursula? Nah, too soon.

Posted at 10:56 PM

Find your date here

Making Big Decisions

After much deliberation, Ben and I decided that the Mediterranean restaurant was the way to go. He was really sweet about it, telling me it was important to him that I have my dream wedding, but practicality won out. Unless we’re going to hire a wedding planner, doing the farmhouse will just be too much work. And a wedding planner seems too extravagant. Jenna offered to do it for free, but she’s already my maid of honor, which comes with its own set of obligations. I’d like to minimize the work my friends have to do for my wedding, and maximize the fun.

Ben and I were in the middle of comparing work schedules for the following day and figuring out who would have time to call the restaurant and hammer out the details, when Jenna called. She demanded to be put on speakerphone.

“You guys, I have the perfect space for you,” she began.

“Where are you?” I asked. “It sounds loud.”

“I’m here! Where you’re getting married!”

She gave us the scoop. An old gothic church that had been through various incarnations—nightclub, movie theater, flea market—had been granted historic status, and undergone renovation. They had reopened last week as an event space.

“It’s beautiful,” she said. “They have their own event staff, who handle all of the decorations, and one exclusive caterer, who I’ve worked with before and really like. And it’s totally affordable!”

“When can we see it?” Ben asked. He looked excited.

“Right now! I’ll text you the address!”

Ben and I got dressed and headed out to meet her. When we arrived, there were beautiful people in beautiful clothes spilling out onto the sidewalk. Jenna was waiting for us by the door in skinny black pants, stilettos and a fitted black jacket.

“Um, I don’t think we’re dressed for this,” I said, looking down at my jeans, brown flats and cardigan.

“Sorry. I should have warned you. There’s a fashion event here tonight. It doesn’t matter, though. Come in!”

She ushered us inside, and my mouth dropped. The darkness and heaviness of the church was offset by hundreds, maybe even thousands, of small twinkling lights. Jenna walked us through the various spaces we could use for the ceremony, cocktail hour, etc., and when we got to the large, lush green courtyard, I made my decision.

“Ben, I want to get married here,” I said.

“Me too,” he said, taking my hand.

And! They even had a white, modern-looking chapel space. When we got to that room, Jenna said, “Yeah, they’re going after the wedding market super hard.”

“How is this place affordable?” I asked.

“It has something to do with being listed as a historic site,” Jenna explained. “Because it was a church once, they get some sort of tax break if they perform weddings here, but they lose it if they make over a certain amount. It’s really complicated, but all I know is, you’re getting married here and you won’t blow your budget. And Leslie and I are probably going to have an event here like every week.”

I called this morning, and set up an appointment with the woman who books events. As it turns out, I can be practical and have the wedding of my dreams! Also, do I have the best maid of honor, or what?

Posted at 12:46 PM

Find your date here

Making Progress

James and I both made some progress this week in our writing class. He managed to lighten up his story a bit, and I managed to give my story a little heft.

I added a fight/ambiguous breakup to mine, during which, my main character sleeps with someone else and blogs about it (sound familiar?). She never had any intention of telling her boyfriend, and when he accidentally finds the blog in her internet history, the crap hits the proverbial fan. It’s not done yet, and it doesn’t have a title, but it’s getting there.

When class wrapped up, I asked James if he wanted to get a beer.

“Really?” he asked, surprised. “Yeah, sure.”

We headed to the pub down the street and settled into a booth.

“So how come you changed your mind?” James asked. “I’m assuming you didn’t really have plans last week, because you looked like a deer in headlights when I asked.”

“I am such a bad liar,” I admitted. “The truth is, I wasn’t sure how Ben, my fiancé, would feel if I suddenly made a new guy friend. And I wanted to talk to him about it. Navigating the waters of opposite-sex friendships when you’re in a long-term relationship is tricky.”

“You sound like you’ve been burned by that particular circumstance before,” he said.

“I was,” I admitted, and then told him the (very) abbreviated version of the Sebastian/Brendan debacle.

“But enough about me,” I continued. “I’m talking too much. What’s your story?”

James’ story is that he moved here a year ago from Atlanta, where he’d started a lucrative video production business with his ex-girlfriend. The relationship went south, followed by the business, and he’d packed up and moved here.

“I put all of my stuff into storage down there and just couch-surfed for about six months,” he explained. “Then I got the job, then the apartment, and over the past few months, I’ve been getting settled into the new life. But tell Ben he doesn’t have to worry. I’m completely uninterested in meeting women.”

“Because of the break-up?” I asked. He nodded. “But it’s been a year,” I pointed out. “It’s probably time to get back out there.”

“Nope. I’m done.”

“Forever?”

“Probably.”

“No you’re not.”

“You have this look on your face like you’re taking a mental inventory of your single friends,” he said. “And if you are, don’t.”

“I only have one, really,” I admitted, thinking of Ursula. “But she’s a little crazy at the moment, and probably will be for at least a couple of months. Maybe you’ll be ready by them.”

“Don’t count on it.”

James and I finished our beers and called it a night. I have a feeling we’re going to do this after every class. Maybe I’ll even invite Ben along next time. Or Ursula? Nah, too soon.

Posted at 10:56 PM

Find your date here

Making Tough Work Decisions

Yesterday, I had the office to myself. Greg and Tex are in L.A., and Nate never came in. The latter is not so unusual–Nate is often off doing mysterious things. He does answer his phone if we need to reach him, though, so he gets points for that. I had set up two intern interviews, because I thought they'd be less nervous without Greg and Tex listening in. The absence of Nate was an added bonus.

1st candidate:

Molly is 22 years old. She's going to graduate from film school in the Spring. She's super short, like Snooki-sized, with a long brown ponytail, hipster eyeglasses, and Doc Martens. She's a creative type, with a million ideas, a never-ending stream of wry observations on the state of modern filmmaking, and encyclopedic knowledge of every big-and-small-screen documentary to come out in the past 20 years. She loved the small size of the company, and the office. She said it felt "anti-corporate," and like a place where she could have "artistic freedom." I liked her. A lot.

2nd candidate:

Rina is also 22 years old, but she's Molly's polar opposite. She showed up in a suit, with a fresh manicure, light brown hair with blond highlights that had been flat-ironed to perfection, and a resume that was entirely too long for her age and experience level. She's majoring in business and minoring in film, and she wants to eventually get her MBA and open her own film production company. She's really smart about business...probably smarter than Tex, Greg, me and even Nate. She has a ton of ideas about how we can grow Mammoth, and she has that "I'm about to graduate and I'm ready to take on the world!" enthusiasm that is quite endearing.

So I'm torn. Molly will certainly fit in here, and she'll be a huge help on the production side of things. Rina, on the other hand, will not fit in here at all, at least not initially, and she also has the kind of drive and ambition that might make her a giant pain in the ass. I can't really see Rina filing things, or transcribing tapes. But I feel like she brings more to the table than Molly does. I'm just not sure how we'd utilize it in an intern capacity.

Before I left work, I wrote up my impressions of both of them for Nate, with pros and cons, and how I'd love for him to meet with them and weigh in. When I got home, I checked my work email and he had written back, from his cell:

"Hire both."

And then another, five minutes later.

"Do we have budget?"

When I got into work this morning, I checked, and we actually do have the budget for it, if we cap them both at 25 hours/week. As far as who they'll report to, I'm going to recommend that Rina report directly to Nate, and that Molly report to me. When he gets in to the office, of course. If he ever gets in, that is.

Posted at 1:14 PM

Find your date here