Opinions needed, me vs. older man! am i reading into things a bit much>..

Hi all,
New to this forum and just looking for other peoples opinions on a certain lil subject??!!

Im single 26 yr old female, working in a retail environment, supervisory role (supermarket to be precise) job is a job right?!! lol.
Basically I am just looking for advice on how to work this older guy out, or what to make of him?
The gentleman in question is a manager of a different section, approx. 43/44 years old, smart and up together, although very serious in his duties. Im going to be upfront and not going to lie, I AM attracted to him. Bit of a crush you could say, haha.

To put this straightforward other staff members find him 50/50 to get along with, I have heard various rumours that he can be very abrupt at times and sometimes rude, he is serious with workloads and most of the younger generation of people who work under him have at some time or another been upset by him. calling him an a-hole lol, Although most seem to think its a "stress" thing and not totally intentional. His interaction with me is totally different, its rather odd. (or so I seem to think)
From what I can gather, and what iv observed, he is generally quite serious with other people, his own staff, it seems priority is spent dishing out orders or chasing people up...pushing them to bang out the workload. serious face with the odd laugh or smile.

I find him hard to work out, He seems to treat "me" very nicely, although I do not work under him. always a warm greeting when passing,and a good atmosphere when we are in each others space. He tends to show a lot of facial feature movement if we catch eyes, and say hello, for instance upon first greeting/passing in the morning his face kind of just widens,...hard to explain, the eyebrows raise a fair bit and the greeting has oomph,.. if I generally stop to chat he always has time for me and seems jolly whenever I talk to him, if not a bit giggly which is quite funny. He seems to laugh a lot around me or loud giggles, almost schoolboy-ish....by nature I am very mature and quite humourous, with fast wit, but he does seem to be quite loud with it if I ever seem to make him laugh, Its almost like a fast nervous giggle, his eyes widen a lot and he walks off laughing 9 times out of 10. sometimes blushing ever so slightly.
Its quite confusing to hear what other people say about this guy and yet experience something totally different, from gut feeling I can tell he is slightly nervous around me, although I am not loud or brash by nature, I get on with everyone at work and am generally liked all round. (bigging myself up here haha) so not quite sure why he reacts that way as I am definitely not threatening or horrible or moody in any way to cause any kind of nervousness?

Oddly he can be quiet at times, for instance if I have to enter a side office fetching replenishisment stock, and he is sat at a computer, he will be deadly silent, he knows its me in the office as I can see him briefly eye up who's just come in, but sometimes not a word is said, its like awkward silence, however if I instigate conversation, he will always chat and respond freely, with expression tending to swing the chair round to face me directly where I am stood. Its almost like if we are alone he finds it awkward and seems nervous. Not so long ago I had issues at work, stress all round, you know what its like, and with the lead up to xmas, everybody was feeling it, I was sat in our works dining area with another girl and he came and sat next to me, at the time we had been discussing all our issues and so on so forth, he briefly joined in the conversation and whilst eating his curry told me if I ever needed someone to chat to he was there. Again odd, as iv heard hes not too compassionate with his own staff.
This week made me feel a bit like whaaaat?? He was sat at the table with a coffee, opposite another staff member, I came and sat about 2 chairs down from him and instantly cracked a funny about how pissed off we all looked, they both laughed and nodded in agreement, at that point I casually started drinking my drink, and almost instantly he was mumbling to himself "whats this", and kind of started proof reading this news post stand on the table which had been there for like a month.... He seemed fidgety, like he didn't know what to do with himself, ..i wonder whether I make him feel that way I don't know?
Me and the other girl were chatting about relationships etc and we started having a joke about girls with older older men, saying why, etc, to which I pointed out quickly that hey my ex was 47 and age was just a number,etc etc but don't get all the 80 yr old business with young girls. when I mentioned about my ex he literally arched his brows right up as if it had shocked him and kind of cocked his head, but then went silent. lol Upon general conversation on another break (he had finished work and was sat in front of tv with coffee all quiet) I made enquiry about whether he had overtime on his section to which we got talking, and I mentioned I was going to drop my hours at work as it was getting too much hassle, i sat with him and he seemed to show a compassionate concern about whether I was doing the right thing....we chatted nicely for around 10-15mins although he just seemed to stare with arched eyebrows and hand on his chin...and seemed to hold his breath when I was explaining things and to be honest didn't really know what to advise me but kept saying I needed to def be sure of what I was doing..and asked if things were bad at home....blah blah blah and then it was time for me to go back to my shift.

Does anyone have an opinion on this? I feel that maybe he could be attracted to me in some way, but not sure whether im just reading into it a bit? He has confidentially spoken to me about his stress levels before as we were in a general discussion because I had been stressed and didn't know how to deal with it except walk away and lock myself in a room to calm down lol. I am very attracted to him, but do not put myself in his face or predominantly flirt with him, I just treat him like I do the other staff, always a smile, always a laugh, always a joke, and he always responds positively.
For someone so serious in his duties he just seems to treat me so different to anyone else, even if hes in a mood and I can see it from afar (or hear it from others) whenever I then say hi or generally talk to him, hes very enthusiastic and nice to me, and looks,...well...happy...could be a front I don't know.

Is there a good way to break silences?

For the record he is married. touchy touchy subject I know, and not really my style to get involved with....

Any ideas or comments about all this??? Thanks in advance

Married? Seriously, if you have to ask for advice on this topic then you're definitely not mature enough to handle an adult relationship.

Sorry for any confusion, I was actually asking on opinions as to whether the general feel is that this guy may really like me due to how he reacts/responds to me. not on whether I should try and get involved.

If what you say is true, then yes. He likes you.

I find it so hilarious how little women catch on to our hints, and we catch women's hints so little. So funny.

Also, if you aren't worried about whether you should try to get involved or not, then why bother worrying whether he likes you or not? lol. :P

I guess I just wanted to hear others thoughts as I am not always sure how to act around this fella, those awkward moments of silence and not knowing what to say when you are in a work environment, I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable around me, if the general feel is that he likes me, work situations can be difficult when you have to interact with someone and there is at times an odd silent atmosphere. I am generally a shy and nervous person so words don't always come out easy. Its kind of ice breaking, and knowing how to respond to his actions as I don't want it to be awkward whenever we are in each others company....after all it IS a professional environment we work in, and quite often due to job role, I do have to interact with him. I want things to be easy between us, and just do not understand his nervousness around me as it then makes me nervous to approach him when I have to. I know it prob sounds a bit stupid, but its that kinda anxiety thing. He is not like this with other people which is just odd.
Any suggestions on how to approach this? any hints or tips? Many thanks.

Well, don't act like anything around him. Be cordial, be professional, talk to him about the things you have to talk to him about and just move on with your day. If you aren't interested in a workplace romance, then you'll simply need to get over the fact that you know he likes you.

I mean, maybe he is only giving you special treatment because you're another boss and do not work underneath him? That could be why he acts differently toward you, but is a jerk to others. . . you did say you were in a supervisory role. So, try to jes' pawn his actions off on that and get over your anxiety.

And I dunno. It kinda sounds like you like him but are afraid to like him because of the potential issues that may arise. Maybe I'm wrong?

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Opinions and help needed please :-)

Met a Spanish girl in London on her 6 month stay here. I met her on her last month in London and got very close with her. Lots of dates we had, lots of kissing and affection, had sex with her a few times too, i felt very warm in her company. Text pretty much everyday. She said her best month in London was her last one with me. She was going home to see her family for Christmas but shes going back to Spain for 2 months as she is a student who wants to be a teacher, so come to London to improve her English as she wants to teach Spanish in England. She has a masters exam on the first week of February and she said these next 2 months are to revise! Our last weekend together was great! We done soo much, i wanted to give her a weekend to remember with me! At the end of the weekend i took her to the airport where it got a bit emotional between us and she said she is glad that she met me, i also wrote her a little message on the back of this picture frame she bought as a souvenir about what i thought of her and our time together.
She is now back in Spain and i cannot believe how much i miss this girl! I am having all sorts going through my head! The thing is, she told me she never liked talking about the future, or making promises. She did say she will see me again though. She said if she comes back to London it will only be for me. Now she is back in Spain she has told me how happy she is now that she is with her family. I haven't heard from her as much as i use to when she was in London. In fact i hardly hear from her at all! Just the odd little 'hey how are you'. She has told me that she misses me and that our last weekend together was great, but i started a conversation with her the other night and from her reaction it seemed as if i was annoying her and she said, I'm with my friends at the moment. I cant talk right now. I haven't had a proper conversation with her since she has gone back to Spain! She has sent me photos of herself on Christmas day, so i did the same. But again, hardly spoke.

I am amateur when it comes to women. I'm a young guy, I'm 21. This girl is 24 and she is from Seville in Spain, but has lived in Barcelona on and off for 2 years, went to uni in Madrid, and spent 6 months in London. She is very clever. I just don't know what to think now she has gone home. Was this time i spent with this girl just a little fling? Or will something come of this!? I sure hope it does, hence why i tried giving her the best times when she was with me! She did say she will see me again, but said no more. She said she doesn't like making promises or talking about the future. I showed her this song i love when she was in London and the other day she posted it on her Facebook in Spanish saying 'this will always be the soundtrack to them amazing days i spent in London with you.' This made me happy :-)

Please can someone help me. I am just confused.! My mind is all over the place where i have never been in this boat before!
I don't want to message her due to how she is coming across. I don't want to annoy her. But, i would like to know what i should be doing/thinking because i like this girl and i want things to carry on as they were. Or should i stop thinking about this girl now, getting my hopes up that she is coming back because the chances are that she wont!? Will she come back? What is she most likely thinking right now about all this? If she is thinking, she doesn't talk much about it to me!? Is she playing games? Or is she just simply getting on with her life now she is in Spain and I'm just over thinking about the whole situation!?

Any help, much appreciated. Thank you :-)

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Answer to simple question needed.

Sorry about this, i havent dated for 5 years so dont know how to do this.

Met a girl xmas eve in the pub, we chatted for half an hour and got on well. She said her and her friends were moving on to another place, but gave me her number and said we should meet for coffee sometime in the next week, before she goes back to uni in early january.

So, when do i text her and what do i say? I'm clueless it's been so long since i've done this... Today is boxing day night - so its been two days since we met, xmas day and today - should i write tomorrow?

I would say don't text her, call her up and set a time to meet her. I wouldn't try to do too many texting because meeting face-to-face will help you figure things out, but if you're the kind of person who wants to text first, then just send her a normal text like the way people say hi, you know. I would go from the bottom of the line first before I jump further, that way she won't feel scare about it.

I would send her a simple, "Hey, how's it going?" or something along those lines. You could do it as early as the next day after her giving you her phone number or even the same day. I agree with pandandesign, it would probably be better to call her. Ask her when a good time to meet up would be and go from there.

i like it when guys text me the next day. but anytime really. just say
"hey it was nice meeting you the other day, just wondering what youve been up and if you want to grab coffee or something "

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advice needed!!

me and my ex of 15 months split up in june 2011,we had no contact from then untill march this year,9 months in total!!
we made amends in march and i still love him deeply and he says he loves me 2,but he has a girlfriend who he has been with for 12 months,
are relationship has turnd in 2 friends with benefits and we are having sex n we speak every day by text,fone calls and facebook,
he told me he loves me and his new relationship is more a friendship,hes split up with her a number of times but always seems 2 go back,he breaks promises 2 me n has told lies 2 me,he wont do normal things with me like he does her and it hurts i feel like im just a toy 2 him and ive told him i cant take much more of this situation as i love him and have started 2 back off,and advice plz ?? x x

You have fallen in love (or possibly "in lust") with a Player. He's sleeping with you and his FWB and apparently both of you are allowing him to do this (unless she doesn't know he is sleeping with you). Furthermore, if he does stop seeing her to get back with you, exclusively, it will only be temporary. So unless you want to continue to be involved with a guy who is not satisfied with one woman, it's best you move on.

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help advice needed

hi its a little difficult... my brother has a friend who is not my type at all but has fancied me for about 9 years... 9 years ago at a wedding we had a little thing although nothing happened.. he live a long way from me so only ever see each other at weddings funerals ect.. last year on a night out we ended up kissing(a lot) and he seen me hoe in taxi said good night and exchanged numbers... after a day we were texting and he said he felt really uncomfortable with me being his best mates sister.. a little dissappointed but i got on with my life.
i was out with friends on sat and bumped into him, said hello and a bit chat and left to move bars, he then starting texting saying how nice it was to see me and i suggested we meet up for a drink. so we did... drinks, dance and walk and talked for a bit, we came home and ended up spending the night together.. i was so happy i say he isnt my type but i do have feelings for him... he the kind of guy you know would look after you (safe)
so after not much sleep!! woke up and i could tell he felt uncomfortable i dropped him at home and said goodbye....
i text and said thanks for good night and nice to see you, after few texts he said fells really uncomfortable and finds it all a bit weird... i was kinda a bit stroppy and just text same story i should of let you make me believe it would be different.. no reply still so i have appoligised for being stroppy and just said take care :-( i am gutted what can i do to make him want me???

i know this might sound a bit silly and i should just forget and move on, but i know that if/when we bump into each other again the feelings will still be there

Honestly, I don't think there's one "right answer" for your conundrum. It's difficult to "make someone like you" if they don't...although, in this situation, I don't think the issue is him not being interested. It sounds as if his issue is entirely about his discomfort, and it may suck, but you can't push him if he's feeling uncomfortable. After all, if a man pushes a woman when she's uncomfortable, it's considered practically a crime, so women ought to treat men the same way.

I really think you just need to kind of let it go, because you have to be fair to how he's feeling about it. Lack of interest is one thing, but when someone is uncomfortable, the worst thing you can do is push them. If he's able to get over it, he will, and things will develop naturally. For now, though, I'd say just keep him in the friend zone for both his and your sake.

My friends call me "The Love Guru" (but nothing like Mike Myers!).

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For everything else, I'm just gonna give you my personal opinion, and you'll just have to like it! Just kidding, but I'll do my best.

thanks for the reply... i now what your saying is right and that is what ive been thinking.. just let it be.. but its so frustrating when i know (as he kept saying how much he likes me)) nothing much i can do thou.... :-(

just feeling a bit down in the dumps about it

thanks for the reply... i now what your saying is right and that is what ive been thinking.. just let it be.. but its so frustrating when i know (as he kept saying how much he likes me)) nothing much i can do thou.... :-(

just feeling a bit down in the dumps about it

It's understandable that you're feeling upset about it. But you have to just look at it as a crush that didn't pan out. I know it's easier said than done, but there's plenty of fish in the sea to be had!

My friends call me "The Love Guru" (but nothing like Mike Myers!).

If you're looking for dating tips, I've got some awesome recommendations!
Online Daters
"Real Life" Dating for Men
"Real Life" Dating for Women

For everything else, I'm just gonna give you my personal opinion, and you'll just have to like it! Just kidding, but I'll do my best.

may be he got a feeling that your were uncomfortable and you don't really like him? you can try to call him and ask him out, if he won't agree that means that he's not that into you and you should perhaps move on

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That's very unfortunate and I'm sorry that happened to you! As someone already said, there really is no good answer. There's simply no way to force somebody to like you, unfortunately!

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