Why He Keeps You Waiting By The Phone & How To Handle It [EXPERT]

Think before you text! Before you get impatient and call him, consider this advice.

Has this ever happened to you? You meet a new guy for coffee and have a great first date. He was easy to talk to, had a good sense of humor and had good answers to your questions. You feel tentatively positive. The week goes by. He texts once or twice, but does not ask about the weekend.

Then, he finally calls you, on Friday, to talk about the weekend. "Are you free tonight?" he asks. Well, you purposely left the weekend open hoping he would call. So you say, "Yes". You go out and have another great date. It is so nice to talk to a man who you can have a great conversation. You smile, laugh and share similar ideas about life. Single? Why You're Crazy Not To Try Online Dating [EXPERT]

Then, you don't hear from him all week, except for some texting. This time, you can't take it. You want to know what is going to happen for the weekend. You can't stand this waiting game. You assume, of course, you will have a date.

So, you decide to be bold and just call him. What's the big deal, right? This is 2012. When he answers, he seems happy to hear from you. When you ask about the weekend, he says he hasn't given it much thought. You tell him you are trying to make plans, so you need to know when he wants to get together. The good news is he suggests going out on Saturday night.

You have another great date. This relationship is going great and you have some momentum. The next week ticks by with a few fun texts, but not much more. Thursday arrives and you start wondering, "What the heck? Is he not going to plan ahead, again? Should I call him? Why is he acting like this, especially when we have such a good time together?" How To Turn Off A Man On Your First Date [EXPERT]

So, why doesn't he call sooner? Good question. As a dating coach for 10 years, I have some answers about why he doesn't call that might help clear things up. This dating advice offers possible reasons and not all of them will likely apply. But, you will get the idea.

1. He's just not that into you ... as Greg Behrendt says in his book by the same name. This simple answer cuts deep, but has a great deal of validity. While you and your date may have a great time, it doesn't mean the same thing to him as it does to you.

2. He's not in relationship mode. While he certainly enjoys your company, he is more relaxed about seeing you.

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A Dating Disaster Waiting to Happen

"I wanted to call you," Tex said, suddenly. We were on our way to shoot my interviews with the student Tea Party group. I hadn't exactly been giving Tex and Greg the silent treatment since they got back, but I was still annoyed by how uneventful their L.A. trip had been, and I wasn't going out of my way to interact with them.

"So why didn't you?"

"Greg figured we could line up something else. He wanted to show Nate that he could handle it."

"Well, when it became apparent that he couldn't, someone should have called. We're supposed to be a team, and our deadline is more important than Greg's ego."

"I know. I made a bad decision supporting him. Won't happen again."

We rode the rest of the way in silence. When we arrived, we had one less student than we were supposed to.

"Amber made a last-minute decision not to participate," Gwen, the leader of the group, explained. "I think she had a panic attack or something."

Trying to quell my own panic attack, Tex and I started setting up.

"It's going to be fine," Tex whispered. "You have two high school student leaders. Greg and I got two college student leaders, their adult advisor, and two loosely-affiliated students. We're almost there."

I took a deep breath and started the interview. And it went really great. The students were really well-spoken, and not just for high schoolers. They blew away the college kids that Greg had interviewed. While I don't necessarily agree with all of their viewpoints, I found them impressive. They had done their homework.

When we were done, we locked the equipment in the trunk of the car and drove to meet Brad and Meg for the happy hour Brad tried and failed to schedule weeks ago. Ah, the busy city life. Meg and Brad were already there, and we slid into the booth, Tex next to Meg and me next to Brad.

"Brad was just filling me in on the Dina situation," Meg said, her eyes wide. "Um, K., do you know about this?"

"I do. And I do not approve."

"What Dina situation?" Tex asked, puzzled.

"Brad is dating a girl that he went to high school with," I explained. "Only he lied about his name so she wouldn't remember that he was a jerk to her. Brad, you didn't tell him?"

"I told him I was dating someone," Brad said. "I didn't think the rest was important."

"You are such a bonehead," Tex said, shaking his head with a laugh. "Truly, truly a bonehead."

For the next hour, Brad was subjected to our endless questions, what ifs, worst-case-scenarios, and mostly-good-natured ribbing. Then Meg filled us in on her promotion at work. She's loving the new position (Senior Producer), though she's having some friction with Ian about content, the old ratings-versus-quality debate.

"So you two are cool then?" she said, changing the subject, looking from me to Tex. Tex looked at me, and I nodded.

"Oh good," Meg continued. "Because Tex has been whining for days about how you hate him."

Meg did her Tex whining impression, and we all had a good laugh at his expense. Being out with the three of them was so much fun, and I hadn't realized how much I missed it. On the way home, Brad mentioned that Dina would be stopping by Saturday, and asked that I either not be there, or not call him Brad. I reminded him that this was all going to blow up in his face. Again. He agreed.

Posted at 11:02 PM

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