My boyfriend is in an enmeshed relationship with his mother.

He recently moved in with me and as soon as he told her he would be moving she changed. Snide little comments, telling him she felt forgotten and like he had abandoned her (she has a husband and two younger sons who live with her) making him feel guilty by turning on the water works. She has also started being rude to me. She called him a traitor for taking me out instead of her and the last time i went to their house she completely ignored me.

Their relationship has always been weird. There were times when we were at his parents watching tv. He would be sat with his arm around me or holding my hand and all of a sudden she would start holding his other hand, start poking/tickling him or playing with the hair on his arms. I felt extremely uncomfortable, like i was the third wheel. She would often turn up at his work (which is nowhere near where she lives or would need to go) just to give him a hug or slag off his dad. On the phone she would constantly tell him she missed him and loved him (even though he was still living at home at the time) It started to feel like i was the mistress and his mother was his wife ?! I thought things would improve once we moved in together but if anything its just pushed me out and caused friction between us because im now uncomfortable going to his parents.

Well my issue is. This is our first christmas together and im not going to see him. He says his going to "let his mum have this christmas" then we can spend next christmas as a family. So he is leaving ours early christmas morning and sleeping at his parents christmas night. Which im not happy about but i let it go. Now im expected to go to his parents boxing day (even though his mother totally ignored me last time) and if i dont i wont see him boxing day either. I really dont want to go because i hate conflict and his mother is very intimidating.

I have told him that i would like to spend New Years at home. If he goes with what his mum wants (because she will prob kick off if she doesnt see him New Years Eve) should i break it off? I love him so much and i want him to be the man i marry etc but i dont want to be second string to his mother. If he was ready for a proper relationship and truly loved me i would be the main woman in his life right?