Hello,I know this girl from my college days, past 7 years. We both were in the same college, same academic batch but different classes. We also used to meet at the College Music club, where we have done some stage performances for the university and musical performances together. I had a crush on her but was little shy of speaking to her, so our interactions in the music club was restricted to music only. She sings really well and plays the guitar too. I play the keyboards.
After finishing our studies in college, we went our separate ways. I went to Europe and she went to the US to pursue higher studies. I have occasionally pinged her on Facebook like how're you etc, and have "liked" some of her photos she has uploaded. That is when somewhere I have started getting attracted to her. She's very lovely, sweet and pretty. And she has such a cute face with those lovely dimples !! Wow !!
A couple of weeks ago was her birthday, I got her phone number from one of her friends and called her. She was quite surprised and felt nice, then I spoke to her for around 15 minutes. After that I have been sending some messages on WhatsApp or Facebook. Like Christmas / New year wishes, and discussing what she s been doing for the winter holidays, what I m doing in my December vacation etc. till now I haven't told her that I find her pretty/ attractive, What if she thinks that I am desperate for her / cheap person? I ve noticed that sometimes she responds to my messages, but most of the time, she says that she was at work when those messages came and forgot to reply. Sometimes she doesn't reply at all.
I'm a little confused about her myself. Yesterday evening, I ended up downloading her prettiest and hottest Facebook photos to my IPad , and was browsing through them for quite some time. Throughout the day, I keep checking her old photos, status updates. I still have a video collection of songs she sung during the Music Club in college on my laptop.
The problem is that I don't even know what she's thinking about me because she's so far away I can't meet her (there is a 7 hour time difference between us). Also I'm not sure whether she is already dating someone. I think she considers me as a casual friend but not maybe her best friend. She completed her higher studies in the US a year before me, even though we both started at the same time. In the meantime , she has also worked in 4 companies at different positions there. Whereas I am now searching for my first job. This makes me feel little inferior in front of her , and I have the fear that she will start dating someone who is as smart or good as her and will get married too soon...
I don't want to spam her with messages and irritate her or give her the feeling that I am desperate for her, at the same time I want to speak to her more, say make her talk to me on Skype so that I can see her face.. I want to impress her some way or the other, I even had a crazy idea of sending her a gift but then I'm not sure what she really likes the most. We share a lot of interests in music, and we have studied the same subjects and courses, but I have never approached her. Now I really want to do it, but I just hope that it's not too late and I still have the time to win her heart..
Can someone please help me and give me some advice, and help me talk to her better, maybe in the near future if things go well, start a relationship with her? She is my first crush, and I want to give it my best shot and hope for the best !!
I'm pretty sure she has absolutely no idea how you feel about her. If you could meet her in person, it wouldn't be so complicated
I think you should confess her your feelings. Tell her that you realized how important she is to you. I'm afraid it's the only thing that you can do. If you aren't ready to do it yet, maybe try to call her more often to let her get to know you better and to find out more about her life.
I agree with Claudine, at this point, you should start sending hints that you like her, but don't expect too much, because for all you know she just likes you as a friend. Ask 1st if she's dating another guy or not before you start courting her.
I don't know how to ask it directly. What should I continue talking about? ( unfortunately , in this case talking means sending messages, at least for now, till somehow I convince her to come for a video chat),,,..You may not create new Love Advice Forum threadsYou may not post repliesYou may not post attachmentsYou may not edit your postsForum RulesShould I right now start messaging her by appreciating her good attractive looks etc etc ? Or should I wait a Bit more, maybe ask her about her new job. I also thought of reminding her of the times we spent in the Music club ( that was more than 4 years ago, maybe even send her some videos of her performances)??
We also like and listen to a lot of music, so I thought I could start some discussion there, maybe post some songs that I like, find out what kind of music she likes etc.. That could lead to some kind of discussion..but I don't want to send her romantic songs, I guess that would be pushing it too soon? Or is it ok to do so??
The trickier part for me is to find out whether she is already dating someone. Right now, I want her to start interacting with me more freely, and then maybe we would start video chatting ( at least that moves the friendship level up from some person who she just knows to a good friend, and maybe from there, she may to start like me as her Best Friend , but how do I find this out ? Any suggestions please!
Good thing is that we know each other, but in the past 4 years, I have wished her only for her birthdays. It's only after this time that we have started texting each other a bit more ( like wished her for the new year, told her about my future plan, job search etc),.. But how do I get to know what is running in her head ?
