Seriously twisted

Okay. So here it is: my situation that is. I met
a woman (24) a couple years ago. Let's call her Storm. I was instantly attached and while we worked together, we were nearly inseparable. Here's kicker number one: she's gay and I'm a guy. We got close for sure and after a few months she withdrew herself. I was very careful not to fall for her and I honestly didn't! (She was gay and therefore I didn't have a chance. I suspect, however, that she sort of began to have Feelings for me and that is why, perhaps, she withdrew from me. We actually lost contact for about a year. Then we got in contact again via Facebook and would just casually "run into" each other from time to time. Here's where the twisting begins. I found out that she had moved and only lived right down the road from me; so i insisted we hang out which she agreed to. Come to find out, though, the guy (40's) she was living with was not a good fella. He was creepy and a heroin addict and when she wouldn't do what he wanted her to do, like love him, he would get unfriendly. So i told her to come live with me. I never honestly expected her to take me up on this offer but she did. She moved in with me a couple days later. Now, some back story: when i first met her, she was a month sober from heroin. She ended up making it to nine months and relapsed and had not recovered since then. She wanted to though (yes seriously, she did. Don't question me! Lol) so i told her that she could live with me if she didn't use in my house or bring anything or anyone disagreeable into my house. If she did, i would kick her out. Further background: i have my mother, sister, sister's husband, and their son living with me also. (I know. Full house.) So needles to say, my friend, Storm, lived with me, in my room, and in my bed with me. (For the guys questioning at this moment, yes. She's out of this world, gorgeous. ) and no. She and I have not done anything. Only one night when she was in emotional turmoil over, who knows, she asked me to hold her while we fell asleep and so i did. And it was a simple arm around her waist and, per her request, gently caressing her bare arm. But that really didn't feel intimate. So anyway. .... The next night (i think) i caught her passed out from a minor overdose on my porch. I love her in an unconditional kind of way. So not romantically. Just always forgiving, slow to anger, always kind and putting others (her) before me. That being said, i wasn't angry. I helped her back to the bed and went searching. I found her stash and disposed of it. (I will be honest at this point however. I admit that it had been a struggle not falling for her. I mean c'mon! Can't live and sleep with a woman and not fall in love or at least struggle! That and she didn't make it easy. Like doing things for me. Cooking. Cleaning. Making my dinner plate. I never asked her to do any of that. Or if she hadn't seen me all day, she'd nearly knock me over with a big tight warm embrace when she did finally see me. Or sometimes just randomly hugging me and touching me. Which, by the way, is a fast track to getting my romantic attention. Even the occasional, " I love you Zuull," or, "i miss you." So yeah. Kinda difficult to fight that. I will say this, she was always modest. Never saw her changing or naked or anything like that. I'm going to give some further background: remember, she's an addict. And addicts will find any way they can to get the drugs or the money for the drug. I know for fact that she would offer guys sexual favors for money or drugs. Quite successfully, since she's so beautiful. She never once came onto me sexually, hit on me, stole from me, or asked me for any suspicious amounts of money. So either i should have been insulted that she thought i was way too disgusting or greatly complimented that she had respect enough not to. Side point: only thing that kept my feelings at bay was knowing that addicts are manipulators. So although she had never tried anything sexual, i still took everything she did or said with a grain of salt. Anyway, back on point and out of parentheses...) So i took her **** and pitched it. Morning rolled around and things unfolded her finding out that i had done what i did and she got pissed. She voiced her anger, gathered what she could carry and took off. I, caring for her and worrying about her, caught up to her. By then she had cut (that's right. Cut. It's kind of expected with what an addict will go through in such situations.) her self but had calmed down. We talked. She said she understood why I did what i did, she just wished i would have given the stuff back to her and kicked her out. Nevertheless, after some crying and hugging, i brought her home and we talked a lot. She was very honest about everything. We agreed she could stay. The next two days, as she got more and more sick, the less she'd talk to me. She avoided me. Slept on the couch. But if I spoke to her, she'd respond. If i told her that i loved her, she'd respond that she loved me. Needless to say, i was torn apart thinking that I had lost my friend. My dear friend who i probably had never loved any other friend more. This past Monday night, she asked my brother in law to take her into town. So he did. Not going to get into the details but she went there, lied about what she was getting and instead got heroin and shot up in the bathroom of the store she was in. In a series of freak events, due to her over dosing, there was an accident that should have killed her. She came out of it with a broken neck, ribs, pelvis, fractured jaw, and with burns, scraps, and cuts. This entire week she's been in the hospital. And i took off work for the week and have been by her side every chance I could other than when I had to get sleep. It's been a series of 36 hour stretches before sleeping or eating. I know the panic i went through when i got the call. The heart dropping panic when i got to the scene and saw what i saw. Images I'll never get out of my head. Only being able to think, "i can't lose her. Please God please! " this has been quite the eye opener for her. After she leaves the hospital she is going to have 8 to 12 weeks of recovery. And when they asked her where she was going to live she didn't hesitate to give my address. When they confirmed with me, I didn't hesitate to agree and agree to the accommodations in my house that I'd have to make. Mind you, my family that lives with me love her also and didn't think twice about her coming back home. So what is my struggle? Am i falling in love? Have I already? How can I stop it without hurting her? Her ex girlfriend has been coming around and she and I have become quite the team. Anytime someone asks who we are to Storm, we both say, "significant others. " But.... Sometimes the ex will touch Storm or caress her in such ways that I don't like. I don't know if it is me being jealous or if it's because I know that the ex wants it all to be over and Storm doesn't and those sorts of affections are misleading Storm. I don't want to see her hurt. Oh! I almost forgot. Okay so for those of you have never encountered an addict, one thing you either do not do is take their drugs. Unless you're ready to fight. So when I told Storm's AA sponsor that Storm had gone two days without speaking to me, she nearly fell down in amazement. When someone asked Storm why she hadn't gotten violent with me, her answer was, "Because I love Zuull too much to hurt him." One of the nurses had some "girl talk" with Storm then came and told me, without telling me, Storm really cares about and loves me. (The nurse kept giving me that, "you dawg, you" look. ) Storm's mother came in from another state. When she arrived i gave her time with her daughter alone. When the nurses came in and kicked everyone out (because it was bath time) her mother came out into the waiting area with me and told me that Storm REALLY loves me. But this love that Storm keeps telling people she has for me.... i don't think she means it as romantic love. She apparently talks about me all the time though. Her mother and I had never met prior and not only did she recognize me but she knew stuff about me that Storm told her about. Any visitors from her AA meetings that visited also knew me well. But her actions, words, etc toward me just don't speak romantic love. She's gay. But had said that if she ever found a cute guy, she may consider it. I'm not a cute guy by the way lol. How do I distance myself without her realizing that I'm distancing myself so as to build the necessary walls so as to not fall in love or to reverse what's already been done? I don't want to fall in love because i don't want to get hurt. And falling in love with a lesbian is a sure fire way of getting hurt. So what do you guys have for me? Any advice or perspectives or considerations I've not thought of?

addictions can often go beyond what a normal person can handle. Storm might need professional help. are there addictions services in your local area? Get a hold of them and ask for their advice on Storm's addiction. and you might try ask Storm directly when she's at a good state whether she's interested in having a romantic relationship with you. if not you know you are free to move on-just what i thought.

Storm is really lucky to have you be her friend. while taking care of her, do whatever you need to take good care of yourself because your needs matter too.

Last edited by aiy; 08-24-2014 at 01:12 AM.

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Seriously need some help on this one

Ok, this is a little more complicated issue that I'm used to dealing with when it comes to women. This is going to be long so if you read this and offer some advice on what to do, it would be greatly appreciated.

Basically I have worked with this girl for over a year now, and we've always got on pretty well. I've always found her attractive, but never really started liking her until about 3 weeks ago. She just came out of a relationship, and before that she's always pretty much been with someone while I've been working with her. When I first started working at this place, she was in a 2 year relationship with someone who also worked at the place too (he moved on later on however) I got really friendly with that guy too, but would later find out that he cheated on her, so she ended it with him.

Ever since she's been in and out of relationships, very casual ones, who in fact were often labelled as "friends" in her words rather than boyfriends. I also always got the feeling that after breaking up with the guy who cheated on her, that she really was very flirty with me, started texting me, and would constantly leave subtle hints. I decided not to make any moves, mainly because I am friends with the guy who cheated on her, and at the time was pretty broken about the whole thing (his own fault I guess). I was also not interested at the time as I just came out of a relationship myself, and wanted to focus more on my sports and other things.

After noticing my interest levels were low, she started to flat out ignore me, even as friends. She would be on and off with me, but she would often talk with everyone at work but me. Even at her staff birthday meal, she invited pretty much everyone, apart from me. She met some guy who she kept calling her friend, but eventually, they started a relationship.

So about 3 weeks ago, she became single, and I noticed that she started to become a lot more friendly around me. She even started to flirt quite often. She then eventually asked me what type of girl I go for and then asked what I'd rate her out of ten. I teased her a little before revealing that it was a good rating, and that I did find her attractive. She was really surprised, For whatever reason, she might be insecure.

Last Saturday, for the first time in about a year, she texted me asking if I was out. I replied saying yes telling her the club I was at, and she was there too. We met up, I was with my friends, as was she. We started dancing and had a good time. She even went to my friends and said that she wanted to get with me, but she would feel awkward about it as we work together. I was too drunk to do anything and tbh I don't remember much of that night, but nothing really happened between us.

The next week we exchanged more texts, and talked a lot at work. She has always gazed at me and smiled whenever I've spoke with her ever since we've worked together. But since we met at the club, she's been staring and smiling a whole lot more at me, and constantly flirting. She called me gorgeous the other day, and even though you should never read too much into nicknames, she just said it out of the blue. I would later call her beautiful, and she got really excited by that.

Now with all that said, you all probably think I'm an idiot for not asking her out on a date, but here's why I'm skeptical about her interest levels. The other day, we started talking about what happened on Saturday, as we were both very drunk. I told her what my friends told me about her wanting to get with me. She then quickly brushed it off and gave a strange answer. She said that she doesn't want to give me the wrong idea, because we're friends, and failed to answer about what she told my friends. She then sent me a text that night asking if we were cool, and that we're still friends. I acted cool about it, and left it at that. She is still flirting with me at work, but I'm kind of giving her the silent treatment to see how she'd react, and she seemed irritated by that.

We are meeting up at the club again tonight, so should I risk it and make a move? I'm really in two minds about this whole thing.

Please note that I've noticed that she's labelled just about any of her previous boyfriends as just friends to start with, which does make me a little more optimistic, her previous boyfriends haven't exactly been Brad Pitt either. But I also get the feeling she's trying to play games for attention, as she now knows that I like her. This has led me to 3 possible answers....

1. She doesn't like me but likes the attention, and wants to play games.

2. She is playing hard to get, and wants to see how I'll react to the friend thing.

3. She likes me and repeats this same cycle with the majority of guys she's been with, and wants me to make the next move.

Please help never have I been so confused with a girl this much!!!

Thanks to those that read this.

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