The Most Desirable Woman On OKCupid Spills Her Profile Secrets

SEE MORE VIDEOS For every 36 pounds an overweight man loses, his penis appears to grow 1 inch.

Love Buzz Subscribe to Love Buzz By The Frisky

She has more than 8,000 five-star ratings from men! Get 5 online dating tips from the woman who receives 245 messages a week.

There have been studies that broke down what the perfect dating profile looks like, but we have yet to come across someone who has one until now. NYMag.com went to OK Cupid co-founder, Christian Rudder and OKTrends data to find the most desirable singles on OKCupid. One was awesome enough to them give five online dating tips.

The most desirable straight woman in New York City is a 23-year-old makeup artist named Lauren. She receives 245 messages a week and has more than 8,000 five-star ratings from other men. Lauren has been on the site for two years and she has gone on about 20 dates. Although she has a lot of success getting attention online she has yet to really find love from it. But, she has seemed to crack the code that a lot of people are still navigating through. 

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So what does she think is the most important thing for a dating profile? What should you say exactly that you are looking for? She has all the answers!

Find out what her 5 online dating tips are here: 5 Online Dating Tips From The Most Desirable Woman On OKCupid

More dating tips from The Frisky:

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4 Secrets To Get A High Quality Woman!

ProConnect Subscribe to Experts Blog By Antoinette Cabral

Compliment her. She will have a glow about her for days! Men, pay attention. I share some great tips here for you.

A high quality woman is the type of woman that you normally don't meet at a bar, club or party. This type of woman usually hangs out with her girlfriends, at the yoga studio, Whole Foods or a women's business event. One thing you'll notice about her is her positive energy and the happiness that radiates from her.

I know many of these amazing and  awesome women because they are my clients, friends and in my social network.  I meet these women weekly and when I travel. Problem is many of these gorgeous and amazing women are single!

More from YourTango: 9 Reasons To Date A Drama-Free Woman

Do you want the inside secret on what this type of woman is looking for in a man? Shhhh! Can you keep a secret?

Quality Connection: In the past, it was the man's role to financially provide for the women and children. The modern woman enjoys making her own money. She will also gladly accept a gift or a dinner out if that is what you want to provide for her. Want to learn secret number one? The modern woman wants a quality connection with you. The limbic region of the woman's brain is twice the size of a man's. The limbic region is in charge of feelings and connection. The nature of a woman is to connect. She wants to share feelings. If you learn how to provide "connection" with a  woman, then she can feel safe with you.Trust: I know you men are visual. When you first see a woman, you check her physical appearance. If you aren't physically attracted to a woman, then you won't be sexually attracted to her. For a woman, the key to attraction is through her heart. Make her feel safe. Connect to her. Make her feel special. If a woman can trust you, then you open up a whole new universe with her....in more ways than one. Notice her beauty: When your woman is happy, then you are happy. You are happier when your woman is happy and content. One way to make her happy is by complimenting your woman. "I love that color on you. That brings out your eyes." When you authentically compliment a woman, she will notice that you are paying attention to her. Notice how much happier your woman is when you compliment her. She will have a glow about her for days. Hint, hint! 

Now that you have learned these powerful secrets to capture a quality woman's attention, please put them to use. Stick with me, I will share with you the keys to the kingdom!

If you would like additional support, then please click here for a complimentary "Get That One Special Girl" Session.  I look forward to hearing from you.

More from YourTango: How to start a conversation with a radiant and confident woman

More dating tips for men on YourTango!

Other Articles/News by Antoinette Cabral:By Antoinette Cabral

I am Antoinette, Dating Expert for Men. I share the female perspective. I want to share with you some important details for you, so that this Valentine's Day is romantic, enjoyable, and memorable. The restaurants are going to be packed! How is this going to be romantic when there will be 200 others with you on the same night doing the same thing? If you ... Read moreBy Antoinette Cabral

Your dream woman does exist. While attracting her, your lack of expectations might be getting in the way of finding her. Current studies show that online daters have pretty specific ideas on what they are looking for in their ideal partner. While working with female clients, I agree that women have a long list of expectations of what they are looking for in ... Read moreBy Antoinette Cabral

Yes, you read the title right. Drama-free women do exist! If in the past, you've attracted women who are never happy and you are done with the drama, then listen up to these 9 stellar reasons why a low-key lady might be the best thing you didn't know you were missing! You love being around her positive energy. You feel happy being around ... Read moreSee More

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The 7 Secrets Of Blissfully Single People

You're not afraid to soar down this road alone, baby! Why do some single people just glow? Harvard PhD Bella DePaulo spills their secrets.

Producers of shows such as The Bachelor don't want you to know this. Peddlers of dating guides try to keep it a secret. Some of my fellow scholars pretend it's not true. Even some of your closest friends might contort their faces into expressions of disbelief if you were to suggest it to them. But it is true.

Plenty of single people are leading happy and successful lives.

They are not pining for "The One" or crying into their beer. Instead, they are living their single lives fully, joyfully, and unapologetically — whether they plan to do so for one month, for one year, or for the rest of their lives.

What are the secrets of these happily single people?

I've been studying singles for well over a decade, and I think that the happiest and most fulfilled single people have a strong sense of self. They know themselves and trust themselves. Stuck in a matrimaniacal culture — one that is laden with over-the-top hyping of marriage, weddings, and coupling — they are secure enough to know that they can live meaningful and rewarding single lives if they choose to do so — even if they're open to finding a partner, but just not actively looking.

It can seem so much easier to follow the prescribed path that is supposed to lead to happiness: finding your soulmate as soon as possible and then investing just about all of your time, energy, wishes and dreams into that one person. But what if you decided to forge your own path? What might your life look like then?

Strong, happy, successful single people who resist the relentless matrimania and listen to their own hearts practice these habits:

1. They observe themselves. That's an important step toward knowing yourself. Take, for example, the issue of "finding someone." Do you tell yourself and others that you are interested in finding The One — yet, somehow, take specific steps to do so seems to rank somewhere below cleaning out your sock drawer and deleting old emails? Maybe you just think you should "find someone" because our culture is teeming with such messages, but it's not really what you want to do. Mabe not now. Maybe not ever. Know yourself. Then honor your sense of what kind of life is the best life for you.

2. They decide for themselves who counts as special. Maybe they have one special person in their life, but that person is a close friend or a sibling and not a romantic partner. Or maybe they have a whole convoy of important people in their lives, including friends and relatives, mentors and neighbors.

3. They recognize that not everyone wants to be with another person all the time, no matter how special that person may be.

4. They know that all of us want to spend some time alone and some time with other people, and that the preferred mix of solitude and sociability is different for different people. If they crave plenty of time alone, they give themselves the gift of solitude. If they like lots of time with other people, they create a life filled with togetherness.

4. They know whether they like being self-sufficient. And if they do, they go ahead and deal with things and make decisions, mostly on their own. A study of more than 100 Americans who were over 40 and had been single all their lives found that self-sufficiency was linked to their well-being. The more self-sufficient they were, the less likely they were to experience negative feelings. For married people, it was the opposite: The more they liked dealing with things on their own, the more likely they were to experience negative feelings. Self-sufficiency does not necessarily imply a lack of interest in different perspectives or opinions. Instead, I think it means that after considering whatever input you find valuable, you ultimately make the decision that feels right to you.

5. They realize that some people are single at heart. People who are single at heart live their best lives, their most meaningful lives, and their most authentic lives as single people. 

6. Single people who do want to marry are wise about what marriage really means. They do not expect marrying to transform them into something they are not. Studies that have followed the same people over many years of their lives, as they stay single or get married, have produced some remarkable, myth-busting results. For example, 18 long-term studies have shown that getting married does not make people lastingly happier or more satisfied with their lives than they were before. Sometimes there is a honeymoon effect — when you first get married, you feel better about your life than you did before. But that feeling dissipates, and eventually, people feel about the same as they did when they were single. A study of American marriages found that people who had been married more than three years were not any happier, they were not any less depressed, they were not healthier, and they had no higher self-esteem than when they were single. 

7. They know what the purveyors of conventional wisdom do not – for many people, single life gets even better with age. By studying the stereotypes of single people, my colleagues and I learned that most of society tends to think that single people are not very happy, and as they get older, they become even more miserable. In fact, though, many single people become more secure about their lives over time, and they are less buffeted about by the opinions of other people. They may not even think all that much about being single; they are too busy living their lives.

Bella DePaulo (PhD. Harvard) is the author of Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After and Singlism: What It Is, Why It Matters, and How to Stop It. Visit her website here.

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The Secret's Out...

“If it’s positive, we can get married and raise it together.”

When Ben said that, I burst into tears. Big, hysterical sobs.

“Uh… or not?” he said.

“I don’t want to get married just because I’m pregnant,” I said through sniffles. I waited for Ben to say something. When he didn’t, I started crying harder. I’m totally pregnant, I thought to myself. If I weren’t, I wouldn’t be such a basket case right now.

“Are you going to say anything?” I asked.

“What do you want me to say? You just told me you don’t want to get married.”

“You don’t want to get married!” I accused.

“I’m the one who brought it up! You shot it down!”

“I didn’t shoot it down. I said I didn’t want to get married just because I was pregnant. You’re the one who proposed it for that reason.”

Ben looked confused, then like a realization had just dawned on him. “So are you saying that if there was a different reason, you’d want to?”

“If you wanted to.”

“Then what about all that stuff you said in New Zealand?”

“All what stuff?”

“About the sunset.”

I wracked my brain, trying to remember the conversation. Nothing. I shook my head and shrugged. Ben’s eyes bugged out of his head so far that I might have laughed if I hadn’t still been crying.

“I said to you, ‘I wonder where our next sunset will be,’ and you said ‘I don’t want to think about the next sunset. I just want to enjoy this one.’ And then you started talking about how you’re trying to live in the present more instead of thinking about the future.”

“And that made you think I didn’t want to marry you.”

“Well, yeah.”

“Um, that’s completely insane.”

“No it’s not! You’ve been completely weird ever since that conversation.”

I didn’t have the energy to carry on the charade anymore. I just didn’t. The staked had gotten too high, and I was sick of half-lying all the time.

“No,” I began, slowly. “I’ve been completely weird ever since… I found the engagement ring in your bag… and then you didn’t propose.”

Ben didn’t say anything for a moment. I could see him turning things over in his head, trying to make sense of everything. Finally, he squinted his eyes, pressed his lips tightly together, and nodded.

“And I didn’t propose because you were being completely weird, and I thought you weren’t happy anymore, and that you were going to say no.”

“I wasn’t going to say no.”

The timer went off, and we both jumped, then started laughing nervously. I stood up.

“Stay here,” I said. “I’ll go check.”

As I walked into the bathroom, I had a thought I hadn’t expected: I’m going to be okay either way. I looked at the test. One pink line. I walked back out, and Ben was looking at me expectantly.

“Not pregnant,” I said. He pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms tightly around me.

“So now what?” I asked.

“Well, the whole surprise aspect of proposing to you is obviously ruined,” he said.

“You still want to?”

“I do, but I want it to be romantic. I don’t want to have to tell our kids that I did it after we thought I accidentally knocked you up.”

I laughed. “Me either.”

“And now I want to wait until after my dad’s wedding,” he said. “Because I don’t want to take anything away from him, or us.”

“I get it.”

“So sometime this summer I’ll be proposing to you,” he said. “Does that work for you?”

“It does.”

“Want to move in with me?”

I smiled and shook my head at him. He rolled his eyes, but then shook his head at me and smiled back. So it sucks that the surprise is ruined, but I am so, so happy that everything is out in the open now.

Posted at 9:02 AM

Find your date here

The Secret's Out...

“If it’s positive, we can get married and raise it together.”

When Ben said that, I burst into tears. Big, hysterical sobs.

“Uh… or not?” he said.

“I don’t want to get married just because I’m pregnant,” I said through sniffles. I waited for Ben to say something. When he didn’t, I started crying harder. I’m totally pregnant, I thought to myself. If I weren’t, I wouldn’t be such a basket case right now.

“Are you going to say anything?” I asked.

“What do you want me to say? You just told me you don’t want to get married.”

“You don’t want to get married!” I accused.

“I’m the one who brought it up! You shot it down!”

“I didn’t shoot it down. I said I didn’t want to get married just because I was pregnant. You’re the one who proposed it for that reason.”

Ben looked confused, then like a realization had just dawned on him. “So are you saying that if there was a different reason, you’d want to?”

“If you wanted to.”

“Then what about all that stuff you said in New Zealand?”

“All what stuff?”

“About the sunset.”

I wracked my brain, trying to remember the conversation. Nothing. I shook my head and shrugged. Ben’s eyes bugged out of his head so far that I might have laughed if I hadn’t still been crying.

“I said to you, ‘I wonder where our next sunset will be,’ and you said ‘I don’t want to think about the next sunset. I just want to enjoy this one.’ And then you started talking about how you’re trying to live in the present more instead of thinking about the future.”

“And that made you think I didn’t want to marry you.”

“Well, yeah.”

“Um, that’s completely insane.”

“No it’s not! You’ve been completely weird ever since that conversation.”

I didn’t have the energy to carry on the charade anymore. I just didn’t. The staked had gotten too high, and I was sick of half-lying all the time.

“No,” I began, slowly. “I’ve been completely weird ever since… I found the engagement ring in your bag… and then you didn’t propose.”

Ben didn’t say anything for a moment. I could see him turning things over in his head, trying to make sense of everything. Finally, he squinted his eyes, pressed his lips tightly together, and nodded.

“And I didn’t propose because you were being completely weird, and I thought you weren’t happy anymore, and that you were going to say no.”

“I wasn’t going to say no.”

The timer went off, and we both jumped, then started laughing nervously. I stood up.

“Stay here,” I said. “I’ll go check.”

As I walked into the bathroom, I had a thought I hadn’t expected: I’m going to be okay either way. I looked at the test. One pink line. I walked back out, and Ben was looking at me expectantly.

“Not pregnant,” I said. He pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms tightly around me.

“So now what?” I asked.

“Well, the whole surprise aspect of proposing to you is obviously ruined,” he said.

“You still want to?”

“I do, but I want it to be romantic. I don’t want to have to tell our kids that I did it after we thought I accidentally knocked you up.”

I laughed. “Me either.”

“And now I want to wait until after my dad’s wedding,” he said. “Because I don’t want to take anything away from him, or us.”

“I get it.”

“So sometime this summer I’ll be proposing to you,” he said. “Does that work for you?”

“It does.”

“Want to move in with me?”

I smiled and shook my head at him. He rolled his eyes, but then shook his head at me and smiled back. So it sucks that the surprise is ruined, but I am so, so happy that everything is out in the open now.

Posted at 9:02 AM

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