The Drama Begins...

When we got to Marni and Luke’s yesterday, Marni opened the door.

“Congratulations!” she said, giving me a hug.

“You already congratulated me,” I reminded her with a smile.

“I know, but that was over email,” she said. “Get over here, Ben!” She hugged him, hard. “You better take good care of my girl.”

“You have absolutely nothing to worry about,” he said, grinning.

Marni dragged us over to Luke, who was manning the grill, while Olivia chatted with one of her dolls on a blanket on the ground beside him. Luke gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek, and gave Ben a half-handshake/half-hug. I left the boys to the barbecue and went inside to help Marni.

“Show me this ring,” she said when we were inside. I gave her my best Vanna White, lifting my ring finger up while motioning toward it with my other hand.

“Holy crap, that’s beautiful,” she said. “Is it too late to ask Luke to get me one just like it?”

“Probably.”

While we were getting the food together, people started filing in. When Jane and David arrived, I had to show off the ring again, while Marni and Jane oohed and aahed.

“So I wanted to ask you ladies,” I began. “Would you be in my bridal party?”

“Yes!” said Jane and Marni simultaneously.

“It will probably be hard for Sarah to plan stuff from L.A.,” Marni began excitedly. “Like showers and bachelorette parties and whatnot. Jane and I can totally help with that.”

“Um…Sarah isn’t my maid of honor.”

“She isn’t?” Jane demanded. “Who is?”

Here we go, I thought.

“Jenna.”

Marni and Jane didn’t say anything. I couldn’t tell what they were reacting to – the fact that Sarah wasn’t my maid of honor, or the fact that they’d both known me much longer than Jenna. I hoped it was the former.

“Yikes,” Marni said.

“Yeah,” Jane echoed. “That’s going to be an issue.”

They didn’t seem to be mad that neither one of them was my maid of honor. I breathed a sigh of relief.

“Are you going to ask her to be a bridesmaid?” Marni asked.

“Yes.”

They both winced a little.

“I’m sure it will be fine,” Jane said, regaining her composure. “I mean, you two aren’t as close as you used to be.”

When we went back outside, Ben, Luke and Mike were standing around the grill, talking. I approached them. Mike and I gave each other a friendly greeting, and after they finished their discussion about whether or not Google+ is going to beat out Facebook, Ben and I made our way over to Jen and David.

“Mike and Luke are best friends, right?” Ben asked. I nodded. “So he has to know we’re engaged.”

“Probably.”

“Don’t you think it’s weird that he didn’t congratulate you?”

I thought about it.

“Mike’s weird, Ben,” I said. “I’m not that surprised that he didn’t say anything.”

Ben seemed mildly agitated, and even brought it up again, asking if Mike and I were Facebook friends. I confirmed that yes, Mike and I were Facebook friends, and he probably saw that we had gotten engaged, and deliberately ignored it.

It’s funny. My ex-boyfriend doesn’t acknowledge my engagement, and my fiancé is the one who’s upset. I guess weddings bring out strange emotions in people. I wonder what feelings my maid-of-honor choice will inspire in Sarah.

Posted at 10:02 AM

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The Drama Begins...

When we got to Marni and Luke’s yesterday, Marni opened the door.

“Congratulations!” she said, giving me a hug.

“You already congratulated me,” I reminded her with a smile.

“I know, but that was over email,” she said. “Get over here, Ben!” She hugged him, hard. “You better take good care of my girl.”

“You have absolutely nothing to worry about,” he said, grinning.

Marni dragged us over to Luke, who was manning the grill, while Olivia chatted with one of her dolls on a blanket on the ground beside him. Luke gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek, and gave Ben a half-handshake/half-hug. I left the boys to the barbecue and went inside to help Marni.

“Show me this ring,” she said when we were inside. I gave her my best Vanna White, lifting my ring finger up while motioning toward it with my other hand.

“Holy crap, that’s beautiful,” she said. “Is it too late to ask Luke to get me one just like it?”

“Probably.”

While we were getting the food together, people started filing in. When Jane and David arrived, I had to show off the ring again, while Marni and Jane oohed and aahed.

“So I wanted to ask you ladies,” I began. “Would you be in my bridal party?”

“Yes!” said Jane and Marni simultaneously.

“It will probably be hard for Sarah to plan stuff from L.A.,” Marni began excitedly. “Like showers and bachelorette parties and whatnot. Jane and I can totally help with that.”

“Um…Sarah isn’t my maid of honor.”

“She isn’t?” Jane demanded. “Who is?”

Here we go, I thought.

“Jenna.”

Marni and Jane didn’t say anything. I couldn’t tell what they were reacting to – the fact that Sarah wasn’t my maid of honor, or the fact that they’d both known me much longer than Jenna. I hoped it was the former.

“Yikes,” Marni said.

“Yeah,” Jane echoed. “That’s going to be an issue.”

They didn’t seem to be mad that neither one of them was my maid of honor. I breathed a sigh of relief.

“Are you going to ask her to be a bridesmaid?” Marni asked.

“Yes.”

They both winced a little.

“I’m sure it will be fine,” Jane said, regaining her composure. “I mean, you two aren’t as close as you used to be.”

When we went back outside, Ben, Luke and Mike were standing around the grill, talking. I approached them. Mike and I gave each other a friendly greeting, and after they finished their discussion about whether or not Google+ is going to beat out Facebook, Ben and I made our way over to Jen and David.

“Mike and Luke are best friends, right?” Ben asked. I nodded. “So he has to know we’re engaged.”

“Probably.”

“Don’t you think it’s weird that he didn’t congratulate you?”

I thought about it.

“Mike’s weird, Ben,” I said. “I’m not that surprised that he didn’t say anything.”

Ben seemed mildly agitated, and even brought it up again, asking if Mike and I were Facebook friends. I confirmed that yes, Mike and I were Facebook friends, and he probably saw that we had gotten engaged, and deliberately ignored it.

It’s funny. My ex-boyfriend doesn’t acknowledge my engagement, and my fiancé is the one who’s upset. I guess weddings bring out strange emotions in people. I wonder what feelings my maid-of-honor choice will inspire in Sarah.

Posted at 10:02 AM

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Other People's Drama

“So do I go?” Ursula asked.

No, you absolutely should not go, I thought.

“Do you want to go?” I asked.

“Yes and no,” she began. “I mean, he’s leaving. I want to see him before he goes. But on the other hand, I’m so angry that he’s leaving. He’s running off to Chicago to be with that annoying comic girl instead of staying here to work things out with me. The idea of going seems humiliating. But if I don’t go, than it seems like I’m too upset to handle it. I want to appear strong, even though I don’t feel that way right now. Maybe I should go with a date. Should I bring a date?”

No, you absolutely should not bring a date, I thought.

“It’s an option,” I said without any real conviction.

“No, that’s a bad option,” she said, making me breathe a sigh of relief. “K., I don’t want him to go.”

“I know,” I said gently. “If it makes you feel better, Ben really does think this is temporary insanity on Mitchell’s part, and that he’ll realize it once he gets out there and come back.”

“He’d stay out there and be miserable before he’d admit he made a stupid decision,” she said.

“Really?”

“Yeah, he’s stubborn that way.”

In the end, Ursula decided that she was going to go to the going away party, but that she was going to show up on either the early side or the late one, where the crowd was likely to be smaller. I told her that once she figured out her timeframe, I’d make sure I was there so she’d have some lady reinforcements. When I got home, I called Ben.

“I talked to Mitchell,” he said. “He said he wasn’t really paying attention to the invite list, and didn’t mean to add Ursula.”

“Well, she’s going,” I said. “Do you believe Mitchell?”

“I think there was something subconscious going on there when he invited her.”

“Any word from the big boss lady?” I asked, changing the subject.

“Not yet. I checked in today, and she said she was still figuring things out on her end.”

To be honest, I was hoping to hear something along the lines of, “They said I’d have to be in North Carolina full-time, so I turned down the job, and then sent out 10 resumes for jobs here in the city.”

In a way, I think Ben’s being as stupid as Mitchell is. Neither one of them is looking at all of their options. They’re just gravitating toward the easy one that’s been offered to them. Mitchell doesn’t have to get back together with Ursula, but he doesn’t have to run halfway across the country and jump into a relationship with someone he barely knows, either. He could stay here, deal with his feelings, and maybe meet someone new when he’s ready. Ben, likewise, doesn’t have to settle for being miserable at his current job or take one in North Carolina. He can explore other possibilities, or even create new ones for himself.

I never realized how similar Ben and Mitchell were before. Here’s hoping Ben and I never have to deal with a real breakup, because I’m guessing it will be about as fun as Mitchell and Ursula’s has been.

Posted at 8:11 AM

Find your date here

Other People's Drama

“So do I go?” Ursula asked.

No, you absolutely should not go, I thought.

“Do you want to go?” I asked.

“Yes and no,” she began. “I mean, he’s leaving. I want to see him before he goes. But on the other hand, I’m so angry that he’s leaving. He’s running off to Chicago to be with that annoying comic girl instead of staying here to work things out with me. The idea of going seems humiliating. But if I don’t go, than it seems like I’m too upset to handle it. I want to appear strong, even though I don’t feel that way right now. Maybe I should go with a date. Should I bring a date?”

No, you absolutely should not bring a date, I thought.

“It’s an option,” I said without any real conviction.

“No, that’s a bad option,” she said, making me breathe a sigh of relief. “K., I don’t want him to go.”

“I know,” I said gently. “If it makes you feel better, Ben really does think this is temporary insanity on Mitchell’s part, and that he’ll realize it once he gets out there and come back.”

“He’d stay out there and be miserable before he’d admit he made a stupid decision,” she said.

“Really?”

“Yeah, he’s stubborn that way.”

In the end, Ursula decided that she was going to go to the going away party, but that she was going to show up on either the early side or the late one, where the crowd was likely to be smaller. I told her that once she figured out her timeframe, I’d make sure I was there so she’d have some lady reinforcements. When I got home, I called Ben.

“I talked to Mitchell,” he said. “He said he wasn’t really paying attention to the invite list, and didn’t mean to add Ursula.”

“Well, she’s going,” I said. “Do you believe Mitchell?”

“I think there was something subconscious going on there when he invited her.”

“Any word from the big boss lady?” I asked, changing the subject.

“Not yet. I checked in today, and she said she was still figuring things out on her end.”

To be honest, I was hoping to hear something along the lines of, “They said I’d have to be in North Carolina full-time, so I turned down the job, and then sent out 10 resumes for jobs here in the city.”

In a way, I think Ben’s being as stupid as Mitchell is. Neither one of them is looking at all of their options. They’re just gravitating toward the easy one that’s been offered to them. Mitchell doesn’t have to get back together with Ursula, but he doesn’t have to run halfway across the country and jump into a relationship with someone he barely knows, either. He could stay here, deal with his feelings, and maybe meet someone new when he’s ready. Ben, likewise, doesn’t have to settle for being miserable at his current job or take one in North Carolina. He can explore other possibilities, or even create new ones for himself.

I never realized how similar Ben and Mitchell were before. Here’s hoping Ben and I never have to deal with a real breakup, because I’m guessing it will be about as fun as Mitchell and Ursula’s has been.

Posted at 8:11 AM

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