Another relationship gone wrong? Here's a dating tip that actually works: listen to your subconscious.Most articles that offer dating tips will tell you what you did wrong on a date by recounting the deadly mistakes that are keeping you single: "Don't be too fat, but don't be too skinny." "Don't talk about your job, but do talk about your career goals." "Be interesting ... no, be interested. No, act cool." Enough of that already!
The real reason you don't have the love that you deserve isn't how you acted on a date. It isn't because you said the wrong thing or that you smiled at the waiter. It isn't because you texted the guy after the date to thank him. It isn't because you slept with him too soon.
More from YourTango: Spilling the Real Truth About Why He Didn't Call YouHere's the hard truth: you picked someone who would leave you before you even went out on that date. Before you even spoke to this man, your mate selection mechanism was set on heartache. But the good news is, you can change your "Love Picker" and turn on your "Love Switch" with my new online course. (Click here to see my video and find out more.)
Why do we pick the wrong people? There is a subconscious part of us that draws us to particular people who trigger a familiar feeling. We think it's chemistry when the fireworks go off, but what's actually happening is that your inner drama queen is having a field day. You're bored with the nice guys and crave attention from the man who acts disinterested. Most people think they will never have chemistry with someone "nice" and that could very well be true. If you don't change your mate selection mechanism, you will subconsciously choose the same heartache every time. You will ignore the obvious red flags, believing, that "this relationship" will be different ... but nothing changes.
To key to finding true love is to discover the mechanism in your subconscious (we call it your inner Adam or Eve), which fits like a puzzle piece with potential partners. You don't have to change how you act, your clothes, your weight, or your personality; you just need to shift your piece of the puzzle. When your puzzle piece shifts, you will see that the men or women you meet will start to change as well. You can have conscious chemistry with someone who wants commitment and love just like you. You will feel the fireworks, but it won't be followed by a night of Ben & Jerry's on the couch (unless you and your partner enjoy sweet treats together).
There are a few ways to change your "Love Picker." In fact, your subconscious mind is always giving you clues on how to change it. It keeps bringing you heartache so that you can finally make an adjustment. You may not have known that you can change it before today, but here is how:
More from YourTango: Is your "Inner" Relationship Expert Keeping You Single?1. Break bad patterns. Look for common themes in your relationships and figure out where the patterns have their roots. Try to identify the underlying fear you likely have of actually getting close to someone. Face the fear so you can break the bad pattern. Keep reading...
More dating advice from YourTango:
AuthorDebi Berndt, Relationship and Success Mindset Mentor for the modern woman to attract the man of her dreams for her body, mind and soul. Author of the bestselling book, LET LOVE IN. Get your FREE True Love Starter Kit here.
Other Articles/News by Debi Berndt:By Debi BerndtOne of the top Google search terms in the love category is about why the man didn’t call. I disagree with what most dating experts say about what men want and the do's and don'ts because I believe you did nothing wrong on the date. You didn’t say too much, act inappropriately or look too fat or too old. The reason he didn’t call is ... Read moreBy Debi BerndtWhen dating, you are faced with many different opinions from dating advice bloggers, books, reality TV stars, friends and family. You take it all in but, when you are about to make a decision, the one voice you end up following is the relationship expert in your mind. I know, you must be thinking, “Cool, I have a relationship expert in my head?” ... Read moreBy Debi BerndtYou know those hot, attractive men. They act cool, try to impress you and often act distant like they aren’t looking for a relationship at the moment. They sometimes come on super strong and then back down when you start spending more time together. Often, they disappear when you least expect it. You wonder what you did wrong and why men are like that. ... Read moreSee More
A woman’s perceived power in a relationship greatly depends on her confidence 
If you want to have a totally fulfilling relationship with your partner discover the art of honor. 
NFL star, Mario Williams, and ex in ugly legal battle over $785k ring. What’s the right thing to do?Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.
YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.
Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…
Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.
So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?
What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?See more resources>
No comments:
Post a Comment