Love, Sex And Pheromones: Who's Your True Biological Match?

Does good sex always translate into compatibility as a couple? A woman can tell if she's attracted to a man based on his scent, but is this deceptive?

Sexual scent has been studied time and time again. It has been proven that a woman's keen sense of smell can attract a mate—but most relationships and marriages are not true biological matches. A woman's body will react to a man's pheromones if he's a true biological match for her. Her body will begin to release hormones when in contact with a man she has a natural chemical attraction to and blood will rush to her breasts, cheeks, ears and lips. At an unconscious level, the female body understands that this man can produce healthy children.

In 1995, a Swiss zoologist named Claus Wedekind ran a test study called "The Sweaty T-shirt Experiment." He wanted to test a woman's sense of smell to male odors. He put together 49 women and 44 men that were selected for their variety of MHC gene types. The men were given a clean T-shirt and asked to wear it for two nights. The scientist then placed the T-shirts in a box (the "sniff box"). Each woman was asked to smell the shirt. Their task was to sample the odor of seven boxes and describe each odor as to intensity, pleasantness and sexiness.

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The results were quite interesting. Most of the women preferred the scent of males whose MHC genes were most different from her own. The study explained that this is because a woman's sense of smell helps her to mate with a person that she's not related to biologically. Two people who share a similar genetic makeup and produce children can cause a host of genetic complications.

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Since humans are animals, the natural sexual scent (pheromones) can be powerful, but it's not always the defining factor in how a woman chooses her mate. Humans don't always have sex to breed; in fact, most people have sex for pleasure, intimacy, love and fun. Keep reading...

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Love At First Sight: Why It Won't Find Your Match [EXPERT]

There's more to someone than meets the eye. How do you find love beyond looks? Get to know your date over time.

I was talking to one of my female clients in her early 40s who has never been married. She confided in me that she tends to be attracted to good-looking men, but that these relationships fizzle out quickly and don't move forward as she would have hoped. It raised a question that so many of my clients ask me: How do you find love beyond looks?

Yes, looks are important from the standpoint that you have to be attracted to your mate. Especially with women, attraction can grow as you get to know someone over time. However, most of us are looking for someone who makes us feel special, exudes warmth and is someone we can trust.  

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Case in point — my husband wasn't initially on my radar. He is a quieter guy who relates better to people one-on-one. I met him through a bicycling group. I had to give him a chance to get to know him. The more time I spent with him, the more I liked him. I found out we shared many values in common and shared some of the same life goals. He didn't catch my eye at first, but he became more attractive to me over time.

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In another situation, after dating someone whom I thought was cute and more of my "type" at first, I noticed some serious differences in personalities between us. He didn't appreciate me for who I really am — a social person. He became jealous when I talked to friends at a community pool that I have been visiting for many years. And yet, he was off swimming laps when I was having this conversation! This made him much less attractive in my eyes. Keep reading ...

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Author

Amy Schoen, MBA, CPCC

http://www.motivatedtomarry.com/

Illuminating Your Path to Finding Lasting Love

I work with marriage minded individuals who are ready to take charge of their dating efforts and learn a system of how to meet people who share their values so that they can find the right one and have the family life they so desire.

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Quiz: Are You A Match Made In Heaven? [EXPERT]

It's written in the stars ... literally. What's your planetary personality and how does it affect your love life? Take this quiz to find out!

Have you ever asked someone, "Hey baby, what's your sign?" Even more revealing and looked to by professional astrologers before zodiac signs are "Planetary Personality Profiles." Take the following quiz to uncover the truth of who you are — and who you'll attract!

1. When you meet someone you like, you're first attracted to:
a. Their heart.
b. Their body.
c. Their looks — what else?
d. Nothing. I'm not attracted at first. I have to be impressed over time.

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2. On a date, your favorite thing to do is:
a. Share our most personal feelings in a quiet setting.
b. Watch something exciting, like a sporting event or scary movie.
c. Drink and dance in a nightclub.
d. Date? Who has time to date? Besides, I hardly ever meet anyone tall, rich, young, or (fill in the blank) enough.

3. When you decide to pursue a relationship, you:
a. Obsess over the person and hope the feelings are mutual.
b. Go for it! I love the thrill of the chase …
c. Make sure I look hot and flirt like crazy.
d. Get to know them slowly over time and gradually let the person into my life.

4. The thing you value the most in a mate is:
a. Their listens to me and validates my feelings.
b. Their loves joining me in activities like hiking, camping or tennis.
c. Their romantic displays of affection (including sparkly presents).
d. Their helps me be more productive and organized.

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5. You'd break up with someone if he/she:
a. Didn't share my love of puppies and homeless people.
b. Didn't exercise — daily.
c. Didn't dress well.
d. Didn't work hard. Keep reading ...

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14 Tips For Your First Offline Date With An Online Match

Tip #1: Don't be too serious! Wondering how to get to the second date with someone you met online? Keep reading.

As most online daters know, it's not the first date that's hard to get — it's the second. But if you're dating online because you want a relationship and not just a date, making a connection and getting that second date (and third and fourth) is the whole point.

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To find out the secrets to getting a second date, we asked our friends at Perfect Match — a dating site that uses a psychologist-developed compatibility system to match singles — to sound in.

The first secret? Making sure that the dating service you use connects you with highly compatible matches. You should look for a service that matches the "whole" you, not just one part of you, like your appearance or your love for pizza. Perfect Match's Duet Total Compatibility System, which scores of PhDs have endorsed, delves into the "whole" you — your personality, lifestyle, values and preferences — the key elements that create the most successful, lasting relationships.

The second secret, of course, is making sure the first date goes well! Here's what you should and should not do in order to get to date number two.

Don't ...

1. Be too serious. Yes, you need to talk about serious topics when you're dating, but on the first date it's important to keep the conversation pleasant and positive. Ask about hobbies and passions rather than taboo subjects like religion, politics, or money. Keep a sense of humor about the awkwardness of first dates — he'll definitely sympathize!

2. Try to be funny. It sounds contradictory to our last point, but don't try to be funny on the date. Don't try to be anything! Just be yourself. If you've been honest on your profile, it's you that has brought him out on this date, and it's you that he wants to get to know.

3. Talk about past relationships. This is a big no-no. If your last boyfriend is all you can think to talk about on a date, perhaps you're not quite ready for dating yet. Take time to get over the last relationship before embarking on the next one.

4. Misrepresent yourself online. If he shows up 20 years older and 75 pounds heavier than his profile states, how are you going to feel about that? The same goes for him. Tell it like it is on your profile. He will love you, warts and all, if he's the one you're looking for.

5. Go Dutch. Though some dating sites recommend going Dutch, we say don't. Modern date etiquette says that whoever proposes the date pays for the date, but be sure to discuss who pays beforehand. Many men feel it's traditional to pay for dinner, but if you're a progressive kinda gal, let him know you'd like to pay for date number two. Let him pay first if he insists. Don't argue about it. Many men may feel awkward if their date pays. For the first date, make him feel as comfortable as possible, and he'll be more open to letting you pay on the second date.

6. Quit too soon. Sometimes it's love at first sight. Sometimes it's a slow build. First impressions aren't always right, so make sure you're giving the guy a fair shake. That said, if your instincts are all screaming "no," don't ignore them.

7. Drink too much. You may feel like you're funnier, more charming, and better looking when you've had a little bit to drink. But you're not. If you've met someone on a serious dating site like Perfect Match, chances are he's looking for the real deal, so he wants to get to know the real you. Don't hide behind a cocktail glass.

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8. Put out on the first date. If the chemistry's right, sparks may be flying. You may be tempted to make that first date a sleepover. It's not the end of the world if this happens, but if you're really interested in this guy, rein in your libido and date smart. Get to know him better before you hit the sack with him. Keep reading...

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A Potential Match

“Okay.”

I hadn’t even given James the hard sell, and he’d agreed to meet Ursula. I had prepared several arguments, and as it turned out, I didn’t need any of them. All I’d said was, “You need to start dating. Let me introduce you to my friend Ursula.”

“Should I text her and see if she wants to come meet us?” I asked.

“No, absolutely not. Too much pressure. Why don’t you give me her email address?”

“Wait, meeting up with her with me as a buffer is too much pressure, but randomly emailing a stranger to ask her out is not?”

“I’ll feel too self-conscious if you’re here.”

“You are such a weirdo.”

I texted Ursula to see if I could give James her email. She wrote back within seconds.

“Am I being courted? Does he know what I do for a living? Yes, give him my email.”

I showed James the text.

“What does she do for a living?” he asked, suddenly wary.

“She writes erotic fiction, mostly,” I explained. “But right now, she’s ghost writing an autobiography for a porn star.”

“Which one?” he asked. I gave him a look. “Don’t judge,” he continued. “I’ve been single for a long time.”

“I’m sworn to secrecy,” I said, pretending to zip my lips closed.

“That’s kind of intimidating,” he said.

“It’s not, really. She describes herself as a prude with a very active imagination.”

James relaxed, and I showed him Ursula’s Facebook photos on my phone.

“She’s cute,” he said. “But she looks tall. Is she tall?”

“She’s about your height,” I said.

“Does she wear heels?”

“Why is this an issue for you?”

“I don’t like to date girls that are taller than me.”

“Well, you don’t like to date girls at all, so maybe you can push yourself just a little further outside your comfort zone.”

James grumbled, but he let the height thing go. Truth be told, Ursula is a wee bit taller than James, but she doesn’t care, and he can just deal with it. I swear, if he goes out with her once and decides she’s too tall, I’ll kill him.

I guess he wrote her last night, because she just sent this text.

“James = very charming over email. Meeting for ice cream tomorrow night.”

Ice cream? Well played, James. Well played indeed.

Posted at 10:47 AM

Find your date here

A Potential Match

“Okay.”

I hadn’t even given James the hard sell, and he’d agreed to meet Ursula. I had prepared several arguments, and as it turned out, I didn’t need any of them. All I’d said was, “You need to start dating. Let me introduce you to my friend Ursula.”

“Should I text her and see if she wants to come meet us?” I asked.

“No, absolutely not. Too much pressure. Why don’t you give me her email address?”

“Wait, meeting up with her with me as a buffer is too much pressure, but randomly emailing a stranger to ask her out is not?”

“I’ll feel too self-conscious if you’re here.”

“You are such a weirdo.”

I texted Ursula to see if I could give James her email. She wrote back within seconds.

“Am I being courted? Does he know what I do for a living? Yes, give him my email.”

I showed James the text.

“What does she do for a living?” he asked, suddenly wary.

“She writes erotic fiction, mostly,” I explained. “But right now, she’s ghost writing an autobiography for a porn star.”

“Which one?” he asked. I gave him a look. “Don’t judge,” he continued. “I’ve been single for a long time.”

“I’m sworn to secrecy,” I said, pretending to zip my lips closed.

“That’s kind of intimidating,” he said.

“It’s not, really. She describes herself as a prude with a very active imagination.”

James relaxed, and I showed him Ursula’s Facebook photos on my phone.

“She’s cute,” he said. “But she looks tall. Is she tall?”

“She’s about your height,” I said.

“Does she wear heels?”

“Why is this an issue for you?”

“I don’t like to date girls that are taller than me.”

“Well, you don’t like to date girls at all, so maybe you can push yourself just a little further outside your comfort zone.”

James grumbled, but he let the height thing go. Truth be told, Ursula is a wee bit taller than James, but she doesn’t care, and he can just deal with it. I swear, if he goes out with her once and decides she’s too tall, I’ll kill him.

I guess he wrote her last night, because she just sent this text.

“James = very charming over email. Meeting for ice cream tomorrow night.”

Ice cream? Well played, James. Well played indeed.

Posted at 10:47 AM

Find your date here