I met this girl abroad. I stayed with her and her family. I am clueless when it comes to women. I kind of told myself from the start that I would not get involved with anyone, but she seemed really interested in me and I thought it was romantic. But she was so contradictory, she would switch between being very eager for my attention and involved, seeking me out in the house, behaving jealously when I interacted with other women. To saying that I was not her type. That she wanted to marry someone of her own nationality.

I really liked her but I kept it a secret. I was good friends with her and the family and I did not really know what to do, I did not want to raise her hopes over something I could not deliver, I had my own life back home and I just told myself that she wasn't interested. Even so, it felt like there was a connection, but I was unsure if this was just cultural friendliness. She would never make the first move given her background.

I am rubbish with women. I am 25 and I have never made the approach. I am just pretty clueless. I always assumed that friends and potential partners was just something people said. I didn't and still don't fully comprehend that people (women in particular) often need to make this clear distinction in their heads when assessing relationships with the opposite sex. It is something I have only really learnt recently. I assumed you could befriend a woman and push for a relationship.

...after returning. I was miserable. I just wanted more time with her and regretted not telling her. I loved her, not as a friend, but as a potential partner. I still had her number and she kept calling me a lot. She seemed to be dropping hints all over the place, one being that I should return to the country, but I was reluctant to make a move. Eventually she pushed and pushed beyond all the flirting and I had enough, I told her my deeply held feelings for her and that I wanted to talk about it. There was no answer, but she continued to contact me, she continued to seek out my kind words and supportive comments, she would not leave me alone.

Eventually I became a little desperate, it felt uncomfortable putting myself on the line like that for the first time, and I guess I was quite heavy on the openness front. Eventually I said that I had had enough, I said that she had missed out on a good man because she could not be open with me. I regretted texting her this and said during a phone call that it was a "mistake" and that I was "sorry", she replied "no, sorry for you".

I felt very embarrassed and a little resentful of her. I tried to forget her and move on, but she continued to contact me and seek me out.

I am trying to move on, it sounds awful, but now I have admitted my feelings to her and myself, I don't really want anything to do with her. I am not strong enough to accept it. For a start, she has not even set the record straight with me. How disrespectful is that!? I just wanted an answer, but she wants me dangling by a thread. Now I have realized that women seek me out as a supportive friend. I have female friends, I don't want anymore. Harsh as it sounds, I do not have enough emotional strength to invest in female friendship if there is no hope of something more. I have only just realized this. I want and need to dedicate my time to finding a partner, and women who are serious about a romantic relationship with me.

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So how do I deal with her now. She still calls me...when I blank the calls she gets all upset and asks if I am fighting with her and her family. How do I tell her that I don't think I can talk to her for a while, it hurts to much.

It almost makes me angry that she is doing this. She doesn't want to commit to me, but she doesn't want me to move on. It hurts a lot.

Help!