Didn't know it was a date? Accidentally friend zoned her :'( help please

Hello everyone. I would like your help on this, I am not sure what to do but here goes:

Me and this girl had met during a night out through a friend. We had a great time and I asked if she would like to catch a movie some time. (She had given me her number, I didn't specifically ask for hers) she said yes, so we watched a film (she bought the tickets) and then we went to my place for half an hour. She had met my family and said that they were great and before leaving she said "I'd like to do this again some time." She had then invited me to watch a movie with her and her friend after I asked if she'd like to watch one with me. So I did and we had a great time. Then the day after, I asked if she would like to grab a coffee with me to which she said yes and we ended up going to town for 4 hours and then back to hers for 3 or so hours. We had a great time, we were constantly laughing and smiling, we had a lot more in common than I had thought and I would have loved to do this again some time. But before I left hers, I asked if she would like to go out as more than friends? To which she replied: "didn't we do that today?" And I said: "well, it wasn't very clear..." (I don't know what I was thinking " then she said: "I am not looking for a boyfriend at the moment and I'll be going back home in a couple of months" (she lives on the other side of the planet, she is only in England for a couple of months) so I asked again and she said the same thing followed by an "awww, ill text you." So I left but texted her later first saying I had a great time thanks to which she replied "me too, sorry if I disappointed you." This is when I replied with the worst thing I could have done since I felt like I made her feel bad I said "don't worry it's natural. I am still glad we are friends, long distance relationships don't work out anyway :P just thought i'd let you know how I felt. She then replies with "I hope you have fun at university, I'd better get some sleep. I don't want to be tired for work tomorrow." (Did I accidentally friend zone her?

How do I unfriendzone her? Did I even do this in the first place?
Should I ask her on another date?
Do I bring this up and explain that I was nervous and didn't know what came over me?
How do I let her know I still want to be more than friends?

I had sent her an mms the following day be she hasn't replied. I am not sure if she can receive them as she is on pay as you go. Help :'(.

We get along so well no awkward silences, laughing all the time and we pretty much had one long conversation for the whole day. And advice would be appreciated. I think that if we did not have the distance problem, that we would be going out on another date no problem. That is just my thought.

Thank you in advance.

Last edited by Harry94; 01-07-2014 at 12:34 PM.

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I think that if we did not have the distance problem, that we would be going out on another date no problem.Hi Harry,

I think it's a done deal bro. She's made it very clear what she wants and why she wants it. It's very important for you to respect that. Do you see how worried and stressed you've become? You're over thinking everything now...and that's a horrible place to try to relate to anyone from.

Question for you...

Why tell her the following, "I am still glad we are friends, long distance relationships don't work out anyway"? Is that REALLY how you feel towards her? What could you have said differently that was more honest? Sharing a little more about this comment may help to release some of the worrying you're doing...

Hi Harry,
Question for you...

Why tell her the following, "I am still glad we are friends, long distance relationships don't work out anyway"? Is that REALLY how you feel towards her? What could you have said differently that was more honest? Sharing a little more about this comment may help to release some of the worrying you're doing...

Thank you for your reply Mark, I guess I have never connected with anyone so well and I'd rather try to be friends than lose her forever. I don't even think she wants to be friends any more to be honest. I have asked if she'd like to chat and she has responded but she has never started a conversation first. (she gave me her e-mail for Skype, but we haven't had a conversation on there yet and I won't be the one starting it either)

I have decided to try and ignore her and hopefully if she would still like to be friends she will contact me first over the next few days.

If she doesn't... Then I will be crushed over losing possibly the most relatable person I have ever met.

Should I try to hang out with her again when I am next available? Or is our friendship also something I will never get back?

- Harry

It sounds like a really big misunderstanding, in my opinion. You all was getting along so well and having a great time with each other. And when the conversation about....

" But before I left hers, I asked if she would like to go out as more than friends? To which she replied: "didn't we do that today?" And I said: "well, it wasn't very clear..."

I think she might have thought you was asking for more of a serious relationship, maybe even sexual is what she might have been thinking. The best thing to do is clear the air, don't let this misunderstand mess up a really good friendship that could actually become more later. I think if you are honest with her, she will respect it and maybe you two can start fresh again.... good luck!!!!

The best thing to do is clear the air, don't let this misunderstand mess up a really good friendship that could actually become more later. I think if you are honest with her, she will respect it and maybe you two can start fresh again.... good luck!!!!I agree with wahcashmom Harry. Be honest with her and see what happens.

Let us know how it goes.

Thanks for your input guys, this is exactly what I wanted to do. I have texted her and she said she is busy but she'll let me know. (she started the text with "ill let you know?" so I'm waiting for a reply. Hopefully we will see each other and catch up. I'll start a normal convo and if she is acting differently, I'll bring it up. I'll let you know how it goes.

Thanks again

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