Name's Jessica, 20, Illinois resident.

I've been dating my boyfriend, Nate, for roughly 6 months. We both graduated same year, but never developed further than pleasant acquaintances. Frankly, guys, I thought he had unwarranted self-autocracy, and preferred he kept himself subdued. But I guess you can't help who you love.

Nate posted on a social network looking for help with his job. After two years of non-communication, I responded desperately seeking a source for extra income. He gave me the low down: he works as a handicap van technician stationed out in Ohio, and he needed an additional person to help deliver a van to a customer. We went on many road trips, some as far out as Massachusetts. Although I'd love to indulge in the very strange details and evolution of our relationship, I'll resist and stick to the facts as I am seeking beneficial, objective advice. First, you should be aware that I love Nate to his core, including his heresy, hypocrisies, and short-comings; my love shrouds his entirety, although I am fearful.

Nate's job requires him to drive all throughout the Midwest and occasionally to the east coast. The bulk of his work is driving and 20% is actually fixing the ramps that are installed into these handicap vans. Nate received his job right after high school. Please note that he only had his driver's license for 3 months, and had no qualifications as a technician. Nate was recommended for this job by his uncle. However, Nate is very diplomatic and had a decent mind for mechanics and was hired. This job was a heaven-sent: salaried position, self-governed schedule, cross country driving, and a company credit card.. if you know what I mean

Despite these favoring conditions, Nate found himself relentlessly afflicted by his job. He was forced to live in Toledo, Ohio torn away from his family and friends living in Illinois. He would try ever trick in the book to find a way to return to Illinois, and successfully did so by recruiting delivery drivers (in other words, his Illinois buddies). However, this crafty business maneuver did not exactly sit well with the company he worked for: it was not cost effective. Yet, his company was in a bind since they could not hire, nor retain, an additional employee strictly for deliveries since the workload was ridiculously inconsistent. Nor could the company afford a flat bed trailer to haul the vans. So, Nate had his way and was able to visit Illinois on a semi-consistent basis on the company dollar.

Nate has always been walking on thin ice with his company due to these type of business moves, but it is not as though the company was offering a different solution. Please note that Nate drives a company pickup truck. This was all great and dandy until the company installed a location tracker into the truck to record his whereabouts and mileage. Beforehand, he would use the company truck for leisure and personal use, which immediately stopped. This wasn't a big concern, just simply unfavorable since his personal truck doesn't even start.

Throughout his two years working with this company, I believe his job molded him into the man he is today. He understands that with great freedom comes great responsibility. At every turn, Nate has been faced with great burdens of responsibility. I.E. the safety required while driving a company vehicle, the weight of correctly installing mechanisms that lock in wheelchairs to prevent anyone from being injured in a car accident, the decision making of company money and the documentation that follows, adamantly following the legality involved in paperwork and title transfers and the works. Nate has always been very aware, verbal and stern about his responsibilities. He asks me how could he avoid thoughts of the weight his job duties provide while being on the road for hours and hours and hours.

More than the weight of consequence, Nate found himself distressed by his position in life. He realized that this was it, this was the job he will have until he retires. He will be traveling for long hours and for extended periods of time on the same ol' interstates. How could he maintain a home life, or sustain his white picket fence dream? How would he even be able to find someone to love traveling all the time? He realized he could not quit his job for fear of being a disappointment to his family and friends. For God's sake, he was practically granted this job. Who would hire an eighteen-year-old who's had his license for 3 months and zero technical training, and has him travel cross country to be the face and voice of their business? Nate realized that if he quit, he would be the most ungrateful little **** and the thought alone sickened him. He wasn't deserving of his job, but he maintained his position out of fear of failure. He was unhappy. He realized that in ten years, his buddies would be educated with degrees under their belts while Nate would just be behind the wheel as a handicap van technician. Right now, his status is above his age group, but only temporarily. His personal cell phone was a link to his customers, and he will always receive calls regarding work at non-opportune, bothersome times. He was faced with the dread of knowing that his life must take root in Ohio. For anyone who hasn't been to Ohio, it's drab and mostly industry based. He was faced with the dread that his salary was basically at its cap and his position hardly had opportune for growth. Basically, at the age of 20, his fate was right in front of him at all times.

Now, Nate's work history with his company isn't exactly the cleanest. In March, his uncle—who recommended him for the job—had passed away. Nate was devastated. He ended up quitting on the fly, but quickly recovered his rationale and spoke to the CEO stating it was an emotionally distressed decision. The company sympathesized and gave Nate leniency. After that mistake, Nate knew he was secured into his job because he was not going to allow himself to let that happen again. Without his uncle here, Nate had lost his role model. He lost the man that trusted and had good faith in Nate's capabilities. Nate lost the man that tied him to his job. Nate has never been so afflicted.

Now to the actual problem. Throughout his employment, Nate has lost the company credit card twice. Earlier this week, Nate last the company card for the third time. When he called to cancel and reissue the card, his boss told him that they will be looking for a replacement technician and will give him a 90 day notice after recruiting them. Nate was destroyed after hearing this, but had anticipated the worst since he has always felt he was on thin ice with his company.

It's been a few days since this has occurred. I know that Nate could manage to redeem himself, not through begging or pleading, but through recognition of how he bends over backwards for the company and how great his customer relations are; however, Nate seems to be reluctant to reinstate his worth to the company. He doesn't appear to be relieved at all, but just dazed by the fact. We talked just a week prior about how his job title is not who he is and I love him for everything with or without his job. But Nate is not interested in furthering his education, he tells me he would be complacent with a dead end job that at least guarantees he'll be in his own bed at night. I want to see my baby happy, but I feel completely repulsed and unsettled about this news. Maybe it's the fear that I just simply don't know what is going to come of this.

I asked a stranger for advise. They asked me what I wanted to happen. I said I want him to be happy, but my rationale tells me that letting this job slip away will only bring temporary happiness, and will actually create a whole slew of unsolicited problems. I ask myself if I want him to keep his job out of vain since I enjoy the times I get to travel with him, which is never for the sights (c'mon it's the flatlands), but because I get to be with my love and it creates some strange semblance that we're going somewhere, which does something for my restless mind. I also think it's out of vain because now that his job loss is a very real prospect, I sit here and think that maybe I've been so contended with my boyfriend because he's been a success... or a larger success than myself. Then I think about the excitement of possibilities that arise after the fact, because I know my boyfriend will do wonderful things no matter what his job is. Then I go back and think realistically and become disgusted by the thought of his smugness with a dead end job when he is worth so much more. I ended up rambling like this to the stranger and they told me that I had one of two options: let him be a man and make his own decisions, or make him the man he ought to be and make the decision for him. Please! Anyone, someone, what should I do?