should i be suspicious of his female friend?

So I've been with my bf for a year and a half. I trust him fully. He's got a female friend since the time they went to college togethe, she's about 6 years older than him. Now i've never met her. I've only heared stories about her. Now she's married with a kid, and she was already married when she met my bf in school when he was single. I heared stories about how she used to drag him to go salsa dancing, because her husband wasn't into it. She slept over at his place quite a lot because it was close to her work place, or so she claimed. They used to hang out together a lot. And i mean a LOT, during school and afterwards, even without her husband around. They also used to go out a lot, again without her husband around, she used to call him a lot about help with her job after they had both graduated, and her husband was completely ok with it. Which i find odd, but i respect it.
When i met him and i heared about her, and I don't know... I just had a weird feeling about it. She refers to him as some sort of her younger brother. So ok, you needed him for school and studying, now you're married, what do you need a little brother for, and a bunch of other male friends?

They've met a few times since I've been together with him. I never told him not to, although I have expressed my slight discomfort with it. I've cut contact with some of my male friends since I've met him, because literally except for one, all of them have expressed a romantic or a sexual interest in me in a certain point. And I'm really really old fashioned, I think it's kinda weird how she's married with a kid, he's in a relationship, and she think it's still not a big issue to go salsa dancing together or meeting up alone for lunch.

Again, I've never told him not to meet her. I just told him I don't like the way she handles things, and it sounds as if she had a thing for him. As our relationship progressed, I told him once that it would make things really comfortable for me if i actually met her and got to know her in person and saw how they interacted, he agreed it was a good idea.
A few days ago, out of nowhere she asked him to meet her for breakfast over the weekend when he comes to visit his parents. He said he might not be coming, so she suggest she would go all the way to his city and meet him there. Now that's like at least an hour and a half drive, they don't live nearby, so it sounded really strange and desperate to me.
And i told him that and said that it's time for me to already meet her, and that i'm not comfortable with it, and that he could tell her exactly those words. I should also mention she used to meddle in our relationship a lot when they used to meet and give advice and warn him about things, when he didn't even ask for it.

So he did. She completely flipped out, and i have no idea why. She said she was shocked, and she's not going to meet me so i could "approve" of her, and that i should trust her from what he's telling me about her, and asked if he needed me to approve his other friends, and was completely angery about it and freaking out, which i don't get at all!
I mean, if she says he's like a little brother to her, wouldn't she have the need to finally meet his long term gf? Can't she as a woman, understand that other women are always suspicious and intimidated by other female friends? (mind you, he has another female friend where they talk once in a million years and have went once for work related stuff and i didn't mind, becuase she just didn't give me a bad vibe). I just don't get her reaction and why she won't meet me, and it makes me suspect that she's hiding something or really has feelings for me, because her reaction was completely over the top. I don't need to authorize it, i was being honest and expressed my discomfort, and said i'd prefer to meet her once, when we're all together.
What do you guys think of this situation? I gets me really suspicious.

It does sound like a bit of a suspicious situation, and I'm afraid we can't be really certain of anything. You'll have to make the decision to either trust or not trust your SO. I guess you'll just have to kind of wait it out, but you're not wrong for being suspicious. I would recommend sitting down and talking to your SO about it. Communication is the best advice I can offer.

He told her he would meet her, with you, so you could give him the ok to be her friend or insist you never speak to her again. That's basically what it would have come down to, no? I wouldn't meet you either. Sounds like drama to me and I want no part in it these days. And no, not all women are suspicious of their men and I have many male friends, I relate to them better and I couldn't be with someone who couldn't understand that or is always suspicious because of it. She sounds sincere to me. I may be wrong, so be it.. I know many people in her position who would do what you're suspecting. I also know people in her shoes who wouldn't.. me included. You can read into every move she makes, but it won't fix this. I don't have any real advice, because you can't help how you feel.. but in my opinion, nobody should have to give up their friends for someone. It's not fair and I would be heartbroken if the person I was with expected that of me.

I hope you can find it in yourself to be more trusting. If she's as shady as you think though.. it will come out eventually. If your boyfriend is a stand up guy, there's nothing she could do to make him be unfaithful or hurt you in anyway. I say trust him..

I have several male friends that I am close with in that way. My best male friend and I are both married with families and still hang out just the two of us at times and I have male friends who are not even in relationships yet come hang out at my house or we go to lunch or something. Relationships are all about trust. I wouldn’t be suspicious about the whole situation. Does she need to meet you just because the two of you are together? No. Should she meet you as you have been a large part of her best friend’s life and could possibly end up getting married one day? Yes.

Truth be told, you can’t force people to meet you or even like you even when they are your significant other’s friends or family. If you don’t trust them, then you honestly have another situation you are dealing with. Relationships need trust and males and females are able to be very close friends without having any type of romantic feelings for one another.

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