Amazing first date and then sex that sucked!

So I have have doing the match.com thing. Lots of dates but I'm still not meeting the girl for me, but wait then there is this one that was amazing to talk with and our interests and hobbies matched perfect. Both of our schedules are very busy and we are two hours apart. But she deiced she wanted to meet me and offered to drive to my house in a nasty snow storm. I had some fun stuff planed for the day/night. I must add I had the guest bedroom all set up in case she wanted to stay after the date because of the weather, I never expected anything nor did I want any sex. I showed her the guest room and my house quick and then we left for our date.

She isn't from MN and really wanted to do some snow tubing. Lucky for me one of the best hills in the state are only 20 minutes from my house. So we went to check it out and later went out to one of my local hangouts that is a very fun place and had dinner and drinks. I introduced her to a fun game which was a hit because I'm very good at it and she is very competitive, it was a ton of good interaction. Through out the night we progressed into complimenting each other, talk about future dates, started touching, hugging and even taking photos together. She told me all kinds of stuff like how good my heart is and all. Then she said we should head back to my place around midnight 1am.

We get back to my place. I get us a drink, we are hanging in the living room with the TV on and we are chatting. She starts leaning and moving over on the sofa. I get a little closer as we are talking and she keeps coming my way and I kiss her. I wasn't planning any of this, I was thinking she would sleep in the guest room. But I was crazy about the girl after all the fun night we had so when it was obvious she wanted a kiss I did it. We were lip lock for a half hour and then she asked me if i wanted to cuddle. So she lead me to my bed room we got changed into our PJ's and jumped in bed and started cuddling and making out. Well one thing lead to another and when may hands started to wonder I even told her I really like her and asked if it was ok if I touched her. She told my yes and that she really liked it that I asked and had that respect for her. She told me she love kissing and so on. So it obvious what happens next.

Even though it's obvious for everyone else what happen it wasn't normal for me. I had been sick for about six weeks and was just getting over and I wasn't feeling good at all by that time of night. I had some major stomach pain and couldn't perform very good. I flat out sucked! Which isn't me. I should have turn her down but I didn't. If I told a former partner about this story they wouldn't believe me one bit. Every girl I have dated has raved about the sex we had in our relationship. I just had an old gf come up to me when she saw me and said she would take her ring off to have one more night with me, this was just the other day. I always performed good in the past. I get crazy stuff all the time from ex's because they loved every minute in the bedroom with me. So this is depressing for me.

So after we both finish sex I was like **** I messed up bad. But she still want to cuddle and want us to stay naked, so I was kind of like she isn't holding it ageist me. The next morning fore play starts and then she asked for a massage. I give her a massage thinking I will get an opportunity to redeem myself, but no she said she needed to go and get ready for work that night.

About an hour after she left she text "Had a great night. Thanks again for dinner, drinks and my awesome sweatshirt ." Then she texts at almost midnight (she works nights) "I had an awesome time last night and you are a really fun guy, but I just don't don't feel any chemistry between us. You have a lot going for you and I'm sure you will find an amazing girl and I know you will treat her right. I'm sorry "

The only thing I can see that went wrong was the horrible sex. She perused me once back at my place, that's why I think it was the sex. Why would she want sex if there was no chemistry at the end of the night? I even ask if she wanted me to touch her and she said yes and it seemed to really turn her on that I had that respect for her. I just don't get it she had away out, I'm harmless. If you like the guy would you give him another chance for a second date just based on the fun factor? I even told her I was very nervous before she left hoping she would understand because I was ashamed of my performance.

So what should I do? I have never had a problem sexually and still don't I was just sick. I have always had good luck with women and still do, got ten that want to exclusively date me form that site alone but I know what I'm looking for and when i found it above is what happens. So really what should a guy do?

PS I did text her and told her that I was sick and explained kind of like I did here. Wondering what she is going to do. :-(

I read your entire post. How well do you know this girl? Do you know about her preferences? It is possible the 2 hour drive is an issue for her. Maybe she has a boyfriend or a husband? I am only guessing. I cannot read her mind. You already explained everything to her, I do not think there is anything else you can do. You cannot really change people's mind. Even if you do not want to hear this, I think it is best to move on.

Do you really want to have a relationship with this girl, or do you want to prove to yourself you are a great lover in bed? Rarely does a relationship work when you have sex on the first night. I say, live and learn. If you are looking for a long term relationship or a friend with benefits? Once you figure that out, you can go from there.

Last edited by MJ2135; Yesterday at 07:06 PM.

She is single. I known her for three weeks or so. We talk at least every other day and did get lunch quick during work. We both work in the same city. I'm their two to three days a week so its not always long distance. Plus she always said distance isn't an issue because she is gone a lot because she is a traveling nurse. I here you on the move on deal. I have been dating tons of women and she is different "at least I think", I just wish I had more answers because I was really feeling good about her. As crazy as this may seem yes I want to keep dating her and have a relationship. I know having sex on the first is a really bad idea. I didn't even want that to happen. But I can't go back now. Should I try to contact her here and there and let her know I'm still interested? Or is that creepy?

I think the title of your thread has answered your question. I don't want to come across being rude, and blunt, but this was just a first date and you experienced it from your perspective. It's a shame it didn't work out, but I really wouldn't worry about it! This girl may not be looking for what you want.

Regarding the sex, please do not hold that against yourself. You jad a moment, if it was to persist with other people then I would check it out with a physician. Other than that, if this girl based her fondness for you on sex alone then be happy it didn't continue. There's just so much more to meeting a person than sex, and like I mentioned, do not feel bad about it whatsoever. You had an amazing night, and you should look at the positives, plus look at the experience you gained from this date.

In dating, I like to look at each one as a moment experienced. You can know a lot about a person through online dating, but it's only getting to know them in person, that's when you'll truly find a match.

Keep your chin up friend! By the sounds of the date you look to be a gentleman and there aren't many guys like you out there. I hope this advice has helped in some way at least.

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