Juicy Office Gossip

When I got into work today, I had an email from Nate, which was addressed to both me and Tex.

To: K., Tex

From: Nate

Subject: Event tonight

Guys,

I was supposed to attend this industry event tonight, but something personal came up and I’m going to have to bail. I’d really like it if the two of you could go and represent MO. Schmooze a little, hand out business cards, that kind of thing. I can’t promise you it will be any fun, but when things slow down, I’ll let you each take 1/2 day of your choice. Let me know if you can swing it.

Thx,

Nate

I looked up from my computer.

“Tex, did you see Nate’s email?” I asked.

“Yes ma’am.”

“You in?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“I guess I am, too.”

I had plans to meet Jenna and her new lady friend after work, but as Jenna is a workaholic, I knew she’d understand. I called her and explained the situation.

“Boo!” she said mock-angrily. “No, it’s cool. How about brunch this weekend?”

I agreed, and when I hung up the phone, Greg got up and essentially stormed out. I rolled my eyes. I do a lot of eye rolling in regards to Greg these days, I’m realizing, and saying things in my head like, Maybe if you weren’t so useless, you’d get invited to things. I know that sounds super bitchy, but I am carrying a lot more than my weight on this museum project, and Greg has gotten really heavy.

When Tex and I arrived, the place was a madhouse. I suddenly remembered how much I hate networking parties.

“Where do we start?” I asked.

“I say we start by getting a drink and standing somewhere, looking approachable.”

It was a passive strategy, but it worked. Those who were actually doing the rounds made their way over to us eventually (and to the people who were just there for the free booze). We handed out tons of cards, got a couple of compliments on various projects we’ve done, and later in the evening, I helped Tex fend off a woman who kept telling him how much he reminded her of Sawyer from Lost. We had decided to head out for the night when we were approached by two men from Greg’s prior company.

“Oh hey,” I said. “One of our employees used to work with you guys.” I gave them Greg’s name, and the shorter guy grimaced.

“Good luck with that,” he said, widening his eyes for effect.

“I take it there’s a story there,” I said, fishing.

“Let’s just say Greg didn’t last very long with us,” he said.

“Why is that?” Tex asked. I was surprised he asked, given that he and Greg are buddies.

“Lazy and incompetent,” the taller guy said. “Everything he touched turned to...well, you know. And he liked to cover his own ass by throwing other people under the bus, which only worked for so long.”

“OK, OK,” the other guy said. “We’ve already said too much. People change.”

Except when they don’t, I thought. On the way out, Tex and I discussed whether or not to tell Nate. We decided to have a sit-down with him in the morning.

Posted at 11:02 PM

Find your date here

Juicy Office Gossip

When I got into work today, I had an email from Nate, which was addressed to both me and Tex.

To: K., Tex

From: Nate

Subject: Event tonight

Guys,

I was supposed to attend this industry event tonight, but something personal came up and I’m going to have to bail. I’d really like it if the two of you could go and represent MO. Schmooze a little, hand out business cards, that kind of thing. I can’t promise you it will be any fun, but when things slow down, I’ll let you each take 1/2 day of your choice. Let me know if you can swing it.

Thx,

Nate

I looked up from my computer.

“Tex, did you see Nate’s email?” I asked.

“Yes ma’am.”

“You in?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“I guess I am, too.”

I had plans to meet Jenna and her new lady friend after work, but as Jenna is a workaholic, I knew she’d understand. I called her and explained the situation.

“Boo!” she said mock-angrily. “No, it’s cool. How about brunch this weekend?”

I agreed, and when I hung up the phone, Greg got up and essentially stormed out. I rolled my eyes. I do a lot of eye rolling in regards to Greg these days, I’m realizing, and saying things in my head like, Maybe if you weren’t so useless, you’d get invited to things. I know that sounds super bitchy, but I am carrying a lot more than my weight on this museum project, and Greg has gotten really heavy.

When Tex and I arrived, the place was a madhouse. I suddenly remembered how much I hate networking parties.

“Where do we start?” I asked.

“I say we start by getting a drink and standing somewhere, looking approachable.”

It was a passive strategy, but it worked. Those who were actually doing the rounds made their way over to us eventually (and to the people who were just there for the free booze). We handed out tons of cards, got a couple of compliments on various projects we’ve done, and later in the evening, I helped Tex fend off a woman who kept telling him how much he reminded her of Sawyer from Lost. We had decided to head out for the night when we were approached by two men from Greg’s prior company.

“Oh hey,” I said. “One of our employees used to work with you guys.” I gave them Greg’s name, and the shorter guy grimaced.

“Good luck with that,” he said, widening his eyes for effect.

“I take it there’s a story there,” I said, fishing.

“Let’s just say Greg didn’t last very long with us,” he said.

“Why is that?” Tex asked. I was surprised he asked, given that he and Greg are buddies.

“Lazy and incompetent,” the taller guy said. “Everything he touched turned to...well, you know. And he liked to cover his own ass by throwing other people under the bus, which only worked for so long.”

“OK, OK,” the other guy said. “We’ve already said too much. People change.”

Except when they don’t, I thought. On the way out, Tex and I discussed whether or not to tell Nate. We decided to have a sit-down with him in the morning.

Posted at 11:02 PM

Find your date here

A Very Juicy Secret

Dina was even more adorable in person than in her photo. And way smarter than Brad is even aware of.

I had grudgingly agreed to not refer to Brad as Brad. I didn't want to be an accomplice to his shenanigans, but I was dying to meet the girl. My first impression was that she seemed very sweet–all doe-eyed with her cute pixie haircut and beaded cardigan. There was something about her that made me think of comfort food, and weirdly, sailing. Don’t ask me why.

"Oh hey Bra-" she said at one point, and then immediately started coughing. Oh. My. God, I thought. She knows! Brad didn't notice, but a look of panic flashed over Dina's eyes. She caught my gaze, and I gave her a smirk.

"Are you OK, Dee?" he asked. He came over and started rubbing her back, which would have been incredibly sweet if not for the insanity of the situation.

"Actually," she said, clearing her throat. "Do you have a cough drop or something? I don't know what happened–this coughing fit just came over me suddenly." She brought her hand up to her throat as she spoke, and I thought, wow, she's laying it on pretty thick.

"Do we, K.?" Brad asked.

"I think we do in the medicine cabinet," I lied. I knew there were no cough drops in the house, but I also knew Dina didn't really need one, and I wanted to get her alone. Brad walked off to the bathroom, and I leaned in.

"You are so busted," I whispered, stifling a laugh.

"Don't say anything," she whispered back through clenched teeth. "Please."

"What exactly is your plan here?" I asked. "He may be an idiot, but he's still my friend."

"Look. I am messing with his head right now, because he deserves it, but I do actually like him. Okay?"

"Dee, we don't have any," Brad said, walking back in to the living room. "Want me to run to the store?"

"No, that's OK," she said. "We should get going, though."

I stood up and shook her hand. "It was nice to meet you, Dina," I said.

"And it was so nice to meet you, too," she said. "Brian's told me so much about you."

I bit my lip and let them go. Then I called Ben and told him the story. He laughed and laughed and laughed.

"I am officially Team Dina," he said. "When can we go on a double date with them?"

"I can't imagine this relationship is going to last longer than five minutes," I said. "So probably never."

"What are you, nuts? From where I'm standing, they seem perfect for each other. They're both all nice and normal on the outside, but on the inside, they're twisted and evil."

He had a great point. Who knows? Maybe they are perfect for each other. Or maybe the fact that it's Valentine's Day is making me optimistic. Speaking of which, I need to pretty myself up and head over to Ben's, stat. He's cooking me dinner.

Posted at 5:12 PM

Find your date here