I was in a really long term relationship, and I broke it off about a year a half ago because my ex was abusive. It took me a long time to start trusting men again.

However, I did my best to be vulnerable again and give love another chance. Since then, every single guy used me for sex. They would treat me nicely until I gave in, and then they would start acting dismissive.

It's been really hard for me so I stopped dating completely 6 months ago.

During those six months, there was this one guy that I was really attracted to. He is attracted to me too. He asked me out a couple times, but some people warned me against him so I didn't do anything about it.

Then, about a month ago, I decided to give him a chance. After that, we went on a couple dates and I felt like may be he was misjudged because he treated me well and he didn't try anything with me.

Two weeks ago, he asked me to go out for drinks with him. I agreed because I felt comfortable with him, and I really liked him. We went out for drinks (I only had two because I am light weight). Then, he drove us to a liquor store and bough some liquor. I found this to be quite sketchy, so I asked him why and he told me that he makes really good drinks and he wants me to try some. Then, he drove us to his place.

He didn't even make any fancy drinks. He basically just mixed a lot of gin with some lemonade and started chugging. He acted all hurt that I wasn't drinking and he asked me if I was doubting him because I have heard that he's a player. I didn't want to offend him, so I had some. I wanted to stop drinking, but he kept urging me to drink more. I am not going to lie... I am not very good at being assertive.

Once the alcohol was finished. He asked me if I could walk and then he slowly led me to his bedroom. At this point, I was ready to fall asleep so I figured we would just cuddle and sleep. Next thing I know he's kissing me and he's completely naked. I don't even really remember what happened but before I knew it... I was naked too, and we started having sex.

Right after the sex, he told me that he didn't want anything serious. And he kept talking about his ex, and he would not stop mentioning her name.

The next day, he dropped me off and told me that he had a good time and he would like to have me in his bed at least 5 times a week.

He texted me a couple times after that, but I didn't really respond.
Then, I finally sent him a text telling him that I have some of his stuff and I would like to return it and he hasn't texted me back.

First of all, I am not blaming him for the sex. It was just as much my fault because I wasn't more assertive.
However, I do regret it and every time I think about it... I feel disgusted with myself.

I wanted to wait until I found the right guy, and I think that is why I regret it. Also, even if I did try out the whole friends with benefits thing.. I don't think I would be okay with the fact that he's still not over his ex. The only reason they broke up is because she moved away, so I feel like he's only with me out of convenience.

There's a lot going through my head, and I am feeling worthless. I don't know how to stop thinking about it.
Also, the fact that he's not texting me back anymore is making me anxious (although I am not sure why).

Any thoughts?