Newbie not knowing what to do. help.

Well, i met this Girls online. She's smart, attractive, funny and (i think) an allround great girl. We've had our first date, with went good, and we both enjoyed. Had our second date wich was also a lot of fun. For our third date she invited me to watch a movie at her place.
During the movie we had our first real kiss, and it was really passionately, So was the second, third etc...I ended up sleeping over Because i couldnt het home anymore that night. We didnt have sex but instead cuddled en she slept in my arms. In this period We've had contact on a daily basis, variing from chat msgs, to hours long conversations before going to sleep. I really like this girl, but neither of us has uttered the three magic words, and i feel she is being a bit distant. Mind you, my last relationship was ages ago, So.I think a part of what im feeling is Because i havent had a relationship in a while. I have been dating a lot in the last couple of week but this girl is not like and of the others, wich i felt were boring or not really my type. I think about her a lot, but i dont want to be clingy or seem desperate. I'm thinking of telling her the next time i see her.
Sometimes she has her guy friends over and watches a romantic movie together or Cook something together, wich i dont mind, but still gives me a weird feeling.
I'm also a bit confused about how to deal with her at the moment. I really want to see her more often, and let her know That i want to take it to the next level, but without being clingy...
Pff...hope you guys have some advice on this situation, sering i am a bit noobish in this stuff. Thanks a lot. I you want to know something else let me.know.

Thanks!

Just be honest with her. Tell her that you enjoy spending time with her and ask her how she feels about you. From that initial conversation, you should have a pretty good jumping off point and know whether it's right to talk about a more serious relationship with one another. She may not know how much you care about her, so you have to tell her (without being overly dramatic or emotional about it).

Let us know how it goes.

Just be honest with her. Tell her that you enjoy spending time with her and ask her how she feels about you. From that initial conversation, you should have a pretty good jumping off point and know whether it's right to talk about a more serious relationship with one another. She may not know how much you care about her, so you have to tell her (without being overly dramatic or emotional about it).

Let us know how it goes.

Hey MarkG, thanks for the fast response. She has already mentioned after every date that she enjoyed the time we spent together.
This is what i have in mind right now, I'm thinking of suprising her tonight at her place. She told me she isnt doing anything but studying. Have a little talk with her about our feelings toward each other. It wont take too long Because i have to be somewhere else late at night, so she wont think i want to Stay over or something...
Im thinking of getting her a flower matching the socks she sent me a picture of, Just to keep it a bit funny, but still.sincere. But also using it as a lead in to talk about how i feel.
What do you guys think?

So...how did it go? Did you end up following through with this plan? I think it was a little too 'over thought' but am interested to hear how it turned out. The flower was/is a nice touch.

So...how did it go? Did you end up following through with this plan? I think it was a little too 'over thought' but am interested to hear how it turned out. The flower was/is a nice touch.Well....It didnt happen, i subtlely found out that she wasnt going to be home, so it would be pointless to go there. I can see what you mean by 'over thought', but it sounded like a good plan when i thought of it. I Didnt call either because she was with family /friends so i Just let it be for last last night. We did end up apping till she went to bed.
I'm thinking of calling her tonight and Talking to her about it. I just dont know how or when to bring it up without to much emphasis on it. ( to be honest i'd prefer face to face, but since we live in different cities, not very far apart, this requires some planning.)
You guys have any suggestions? Should i tellen her i miss her, want to.be with her, see her more often? (wich are all sincere btw). Any help is appreciated!
On a side note, i seem to be the initiator most of the time...

Much thanks, undercoverlover.

Being the initiator right now is fine. Don't worry too much about that. You like her right? Therefore, trying to play it cool by not calling or talking to her will not be honest.

If you prefer to talk to her about this face to face, I suggest you follow your intuition here and plan some face to face time with her. She'll appreciate this too.

If this is genuine, which it appears it is, then there is NO RUSH. Urgency has a way of destroying this initial stage of relationships. Just relax and enjoy it as it unfolds.

It's fine to tell her you miss her, but just don't overdo it. Be honest, but keep your boundaries. Don't "gush" over her...it's repulsive and most women will turn away from it. Remember, there are many MANY other wonderful women in the world and although she may seem like the only one for you right now, it's CRITICAL to your success that you keep reminding yourself she's not the only one. If not, you risk becoming needy and obsessive...a big no no.

For now, try to set up something with her face to face. And if you want...follow-up here.

Being the initiator right now is fine. Don't worry too much about that. You like her right? Therefore, trying to play it cool by not calling or talking to her will not be honest.

If you prefer to talk to her about this face to face, I suggest you follow your intuition here and plan some face to face time with her. She'll appreciate this too.

If this is genuine, which it appears it is, then there is NO RUSH. Urgency has a way of destroying this initial stage of relationships. Just relax and enjoy it as it unfolds.

It's fine to tell her you miss her, but just don't overdo it. Be honest, but keep your boundaries. Don't "gush" over her...it's repulsive and most women will turn away from it. Remember, there are many MANY other wonderful women in the world and although she may seem like the only one for you right now, it's CRITICAL to your success that you keep reminding yourself she's not the only one. If not, you risk becoming needy and obsessive...a big no no.

For now, try to set up something with her face to face. And if you want...follow-up here.

Allright, first of all thanks for the advice. Altough inside i know what you said is true, it seems hard to see with this blurred vision. So i called her last night, made her laugh a lot, teased her and it was fun. Now the way i tried to plan some face time is by suggesting having dinner(her favorite, and im cooking) and maybe a movie, on a specific day. She politely declined because she has other plans. Here is were i dont know how to continue, previously when i suggested a day she told me she didnt like to plan too much ahead (couple of.days). So i dont know if i should directly ask her when she can or wants to, so i didnt. She did almost begged me to move it to.another time without being specific. I teased her about it, without pushing for a specific day.
We talked about 1hr+ ( about family, friends, experiences etc..) before i started to wrap it up because i had to go to sleep. I ended up telling her i missed her without seeming needy ( i think). To me it seems there are lot of signs she is really in to me, but its a bit difficult to get together.

What do you think? And again, your help is much appreciated.

What does she say when you ask her to suggest a good day/time for her to get together? I would try to help her be the one to make this decision...you guide her along though. Just be patient. She may need several attempts on your part before she can really make the time. For now, continue to talk to her on the phone or in whatever ways she is most comfortable, all the while working towards your dinner and movie night.

It does sound like she's into you. So it's important to keep that building while also maintaining your own life outside of her...remember, there are a lot of other wonderful women just waiting for you to cook them a meal too.

By the way, whatcha cookin'?

What does she say when you ask her to suggest a good day/time for her to get together? I would try to help her be the one to make this decision...you guide her along though. Just be patient. She may need several attempts on your part before she can really make the time. For now, continue to talk to her on the phone or in whatever ways she is most comfortable, all the while working towards your dinner and movie night.

It does sound like she's into you. So it's important to keep that building while also maintaining your own life outside of her...remember, there are a lot of other wonderful women just waiting for you to cook them a meal too.

By the way, whatcha cookin'?

Hey MarkG,

Thanks for all your responses.

I talked to her a couple of hours ago and asked her if she has plans the next couple of days, specifically the weekend, and That we should go do.something fun together. no response...not even a i have other plans or something, so i changed the subject. This indicates to me she might be losing interest. coincidentally i will be in her city tonight, because i have some friends living there were i will be having dinner tonight. I thought about surprising her at her place, Just for a hello and be on my way, but i dont think that will be a good idea. I am starting to internalize the risk That i might be losing her, which is too bad on one side, because i really think she is a great girl, but On the other side i have to respect myself and cant leave myself in a position of such vagueness.
And this is demanding a lot of energy.

My feelings tell me i should take a step back and let it rest for a while, maybe a week or something. Maybe she has some other issues at the moment or something...

I also think that she might start to see me as a friend, which is the last thing i want. I want her to see me as her lover, with hom she can share anything, not a friend.

Do you have any advice om how to proceed with this in the next couple of days, and more importantly how to be more of a lover and less a friend. ( dont get me wrong, i will be her best friend, but i have to be her lover first)

And i was cooking something with asparagus, wich happen to be one of her favorite foods

Appreciate all the help.

And so the saga continues...After i switched subject, i stopped talking after a few lines...She responses just now to my date with that she is busy this weekend, and she's available next week, without naming a day.

How do i interpret this? And more importantly, how to respond? Should i push on for a date/time or aknowledge her response and keep talking normally, or aknowledge and talk minimally...

To be honest guys, this "game" seems to get funnier with every response i get, either from you giving me am outsiders perspective, or from her were it seems she is playing kinda hardball...

So it continues...and again, thanks for taking the time to respond and give your 2 cents.

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