Sunday, August 11, 2013

A Beautiful Mind: How Personality Makes Us More Attractive

How Love Transforms Our Perspective Of Beauty You think he's cute now? Wait'll you get to know him! When looking for love, beauty really is only skin deep.

Single and searching? Matchmaker and life coach Susan Alper has some interesting insight on how physical attraction isn't the most important piece of the puzzle. Instead, she suggests you dig deeper and get to know someone you may have overlooked: their good qualities might just make them seem like a better catch.

As a professional Matchmaker, one of the most challenging things I have to deal with in my job today is online dating. Sadly, this practice only focuses on pictures of potential candidates; the dating scene has become very visual. I really try not show pictures of clients, unless it is an absolute must.

More from YourTango: Dating 101

Why do I follow this policy? I have never met anyone (except models) who looks better in a photo than they do in real life. Why am I really successful at my job? It could be my sales, PR and marketing background that helps me promote my client as a total package. Because that's what we are: complete people, with a lot more to love than a great smile or nice eyes.

Being physically attracted to your partner is important, but if you base attraction solely on a pretty picture, you are probably not going to be able to come “out of the box.” In the dating world, this means coming outside of your comfort zone. Men tend to focus more on a specific type of look in their search for a partner, while women often pursue the perfect whole package or bigger picture. That is why there are so many single women! It isn't until they realize that the "perfect" man doesn't exist that they are able to open their mind, expand their options and find love.

More from YourTango: Life Is Not A Rehearsal...So Get Offline!

I have even been able to fix up couples with the complete opposite of what they originally wanted. Why, you ask? Before I sign on potential clients, I conduct a consulting interview. At that time, I suggest they make a few changes to their wish list and be more realistic about their potential partner. Keep reading...

More online dating advice from YourTango:

Other Articles/News by Susan Alper:By Susan Alper

Men make a lot of mistakes when dating. They have to remember women are like flowers and need to be watered everyday with kindness and appreciation. Women also don’t want to hear stories of your past relationships. If there’s any negative emotions lingering from an ex, talk to a professional about it, not a prospective. Try to stay positive. ... Read moreBy Susan Alper

Contrary to what sitcoms tell us, there aren’t too many couples who met at the produce section of local supermarket and the internet is a scary place for many. Believe it or not, I get most of my clients after they’ve had bad experiences online dating. I’m not knocking the web, it actually works well for some people, but the complaint I ... Read moreSee More


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