Going on second date with a Girl I really like but there is a problem...

Hi guys and gals,

I'm new to this site and joined purely because I have a problem that is really bugging me and making me feel very bad and down about myself.

Basically I met this wonderful girl who I really like online and we met up last week for a first date and got on amazingly. She was really pretty and had an amazing personality! I couldn't believe my luck. Anyways we have since arranged to meet this week for a second date for dinner and I am (or at least was) really looking forward to it.

Here is the problem, the other night I went out with my friends to a bar and ended up kissing a different girl. Nothing happened other then kissing her and I did not exchange numbers or arrange to meet her again. It was just kissing.

I know I'm not in a committed relationship with this girl I am meeting this week but I feel really guilty about what I've done. I feel as if it does develop into a relationship which I think would be great then this thing I'm worried about will be eating away at the back of my mind.

I have asked friends and they have all said not to worry about it as we are not officially seeing one another but I still can't help but feel bad about it and fear that I may have ruined this great chance to get to know this really amazing girl.

I'd appreciate any advice people have on this issue as it's really getting me down!

Many thanks!

I agree with your friends, you shouldn't worry about it. Kissing the girl happened prior to you making it official with the woman you have met online. If you were already in a relationship with this girl then I could understand why you would feel guilty. But there is no reason for you tell this person because it's currently none of her concern. Since you stated that it is bothersome then you should tell her. I don't know how it would end if you tell her because it's kind of terrible to kiss a girl at a bar when you are trying to pursue someone else. I think you should keep it to yourself if you want a chance with this young lady. If you don't tell her, I promise that you will eventually forget the kiss ever happened.

You aren't in a relationship yet so you don't have to be faithful to each other. I think you should just forget about it and never do anything like this again because it's really unfair to kiss a girl if you are interested in somebody else.

Thank you for your response. Reading it made me smile especially when you say "you will eventually forget the kiss ever happened". I just want to forget about it and move on because I know I really like this girl!

Few things to think about: How do you know this girl isn't going around kissing other guys? Is that the deal breaker for you? If you found out she is more social than you thought and goes on dates, does your interest disappear? You have to consider that girls usually get more attention than guys. If she is such a great girl that gets along with you, don't you think she might get along with other people as well? You did say she has an amazing personality. Were you expecting that you would be her first and ever boyfriend?

My point in all this is that if kissing another girl or finding other women attractive etc... is making you have unreasonable feelings because of this one girl (who you've only been out with for 1 date), you might actually be giving off a needy attitude. If she find out that you have this kind of clingy behavior, how long do you think it will take before she finds a more confident and secure guy that gets her attention. Good luck.

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