Been seeing my Ex, don't know what to do.

I have been trying to find some good advice on my predicament but haven't really turned up anything yet. I hope I am posting this in the appropriate place.

About 4 months ago I broke up with my ex, we were together for 3 years. We had alot of problems but half of them were my fault and the fact I didn't realize when i was doing something wrong. I feel that it was a mistake however I am thankful at the same time because Iv'e learned so much about myself and all the things I did wrong. It makes me want to make my life better now that I know all these things I didn't see before.

She got with another man only a week after we broke up. Which made me extremely mad and hurt, what I really needed was just some time to reflect on everything but this made me not talk to her for about 2 months.

I then started talking to her some. I wrote her a letter apologizing for all the things I had done wrong, took her out to dinner and asked if there was any chance for us. She said she didn't know if there was a chance or not for the future but she wouldn't take me back.

Well the last 2 or 3 weeks we've been talking alot and spending time together. Every time we do it seems almost perfect. We ended up having a sex a couple of times, best either of us have ever had. I am having a hard time with this because she is still seeing this other guy, and she tells me she shouldn't be doing what we are doing. I don't know what I should do and She told me she doesn't know what to do either.

I have been making changes to better myself, taking care of my health, I enrolled in college and am trying to find a job. She doesn't have anything and I really want to be with her and for her to be a part of it with me and help her make her life better too.

It hurts the way the situation is and I just don't know what to do about at this point, I don't want to give her an ultimatum but I probly shouldn't stick around if she is going to stay with this other guy and nothing is going to come of us.

I would greatly appreciate any input about this, and sorry for the long story. I tried to make it as short as possible. Thank you.

To clarify I would like some advice on what to say to her, should I ask if there is a chance for us and just keep doing what Im doing? Should I ask her to make a choice? I have even been thinking about proposing to her but I don't know if that's a good idea.

First slow down and breathe!..lol. I know it's hard but working yourself up is going to make it harder to think clearly about things. I understand your situation since I was in the exact same position, you should figure out how she truly feels about things. If she is truly feeling you then there's no need for her to continue seeing the other guy because he is just going to get hurt the longer she drags things on with him, as hard is might be the best solution might be for you to step back for awhile and see what happens. I know that is probably the last thing you want to hear but you don't want to end up hurt even worse. Try and have an honest conversation about what you both want to have happen and where you see yourselves in the future. Hope that helps a little and good luck with everything.

First slow down and breathe!..lol. I know it's hard but working yourself up is going to make it harder to think clearly about things. I understand your situation since I was in the exact same position, you should figure out how she truly feels about things. If she is truly feeling you then there's no need for her to continue seeing the other guy because he is just going to get hurt the longer she drags things on with him, as hard is might be the best solution might be for you to step back for awhile and see what happens. I know that is probably the last thing you want to hear but you don't want to end up hurt even worse. Try and have an honest conversation about what you both want to have happen and where you see yourselves in the future. Hope that helps a little and good luck with everything.Thank you for the advice. I am going to see her later and discuss everything with her and then decide where to go from there. I think we will probly end up going our seperate ways though, I'll post again after I know whats going to happen. Thanks again.

No problem, I was trying not to be long winded..lol. I just was in the exact same position with my ex, he was seeing someone and I begin to regret ending things. We ended up in the same situation your in except he left his girlfriend and we got back together. After a few months though I realized the problems we originally had were still there and that I was just hurt he was with someone else so I wanted him back, not saying this is your situation but I wish I had slowed down before jumping back into things. I wish you the best, remember if it's meant to be then it will.

Hey man, just remember if things don't work out between you two, you'll be OK. My ex broke up with me in April and it hurt bad. We were together for 3 years and I thought she was the woman I'd marry. That experience was extremely painful, and took a couple of months for life to get back to somewhat normal. Like you, I was mostly at fault for the destruction of our relationship. And, like you I realized it only after is was over. We didn't get back together nor do we have any contact to this day

You know what? I wouldn't haven't any other way.

That break-up allowed me to find myself again. Since then, I've gotten myself into the best shape of my life, been killing it at work, driving a new car and plan to buy a house pretty soon. Oh yea, and I just had a awesome first date with this cute blonde that looks like some chick I'd be checking out when out to dinner with the ex.

Looking back at it with a clear head, I know what I did wrong in that relationship; and I count my lucky stars that I do. The best thing I can do is take what I've learned and apply it to the next. Keep your head up high, there's bigger tastier fish out there man.

Well talking didn't really help much, I could only muster about half of what I should have said, and she couldn't say much more than she doesn't know and cry. Logically I suppose it isn't the best thing and I should move on. I feel like I would put up with anything to be with her, but I am going to try and just get past it.

Thank you all for the help, perhaps I can return the favor some day.

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