Haven't heard from the love of my life in a while. Help appreciated!

Now, I am new to the boards, so just in case you did not see my introductory thread, I am a 17 year old gay male for background info. Please do not discriminate, I just would like help, that's all.

So I met the love of my life, christopher, on a mobile dating site (wow, I never thought that would happen, but it did and I would not change it for a thing!!) Christopher is the nicest person in the world. He is like my best friend and my boyfriend. He always talks about things like "WHEN we get a house out here, or OUR dog isn't going to be like that annoying dog I have to deal with, or WHEN we are together, we will be like hermits because all we will ever need is eachother he says it as if we ARE going to be together soon, and he wants that and so do I! Christopher is 26, so we cannot legally be together, but I am going to college soon and will be applying to a school close to him (and it is in nashville which is SOO great for my songwriting and singing) so hopefully that will happen. So, you are al probably asking "well, it seems as if there is no problem here so far!" Well, christopher moved in with his close friend about a month ago, and his friend accidentally booked over his vacation that he was supposed to take to visit his mother in cali. They were supposed to go on the 3rd, which was actually my bday, but his friend booked over it, so I have no idea when he is actually going to cali, I think he was supposed to leave the 11th for cali, and would be gone for 3 weeks! Ok, NOW here is the problem. Said roommate keeps trying to bang chris, so he had to move back in with his aunt, who he was originally living with when we met, and I have not heard from him since my audition for the voice on the 22nd of july. Last thing he said to me was "8 love you baby!" I believe it fully. I texted him the next day, no reply, called him the day after, no answer. I found out about his roomate on the 22nd. That's when I knew something was up, he was acting a little strange. So I text him every once in a while to let him know I still love him and am still here. I haven't texted or called him in about a week. I am so afraid that I am smothering him with texts and calls, so I try not to do so. I. Know for a fact almost that he is chillaxing in california with the comfort of his mother. I am just concerned that I am smothering him. I want him to get through this, but I want him to still come back to me after. I know, selfish. I am sorry guys, I love him. I really do! He lights up my whole universe! I am perfectly fine with not speaking to him, just the constant not knowing how he is doing and what not kills me. Last time I checked, his VM box was full, so I can't leave I'm a voice mail. I have developed a fear of calling him all of the sudden, I really do NOT want to smother him. I am thinking of HIM all the time, not ME. I am going to give myself until our 4 month, sept 23rd, before I give up and break up. I doubt he forgot about me and think he will call sometime soon, but I don't know if what I am doing is right!! Should I be calling/texting him more often, or should I just stop and wait for him to contact me. I think about him every day, and sometimes I can't sleep unless I basically pretend he is with me and falling asleep with him. I don't know if that makes me weird, but I care for him, so whatever gets me through is what's gonna go down. Sorry for this super long thread, but I would love some advice. Am I doing the right thing here? Btw, this is my first real relationship that is serious. Thank you in advance and I hope for a nice warm and welcomed stay on the boards

---YoshiMike13 ---

How many times have you contacted him since you have heard from him? You should be able to feel free to contact him but if he is simply not responding, at some point you have to give up. It is a little odd that he would just switch off like that. Have you had issues before with staying in contact?

How many times have you contacted him since you have heard from him? You should be able to feel free to contact him but if he is simply not responding, at some point you have to give up. It is a little odd that he would just switch off like that. Have you had issues before with staying in contact?
Thannk you for your help, but I texted him at like 5:30 and then like a half an hour later he called me. He has been in and out of the hospital because his sister attempted suicide by pills our relationship is fine; be he isntt and I feel absolutely terrible that I cannot really do anythinng to help :'( have I ever lost contact with him before? Only once when he got a new cell phone, cuz his broke but that doesn't really count and it was for like 3 days.

I sense that you're in a codependent relationship with this guy; however, he's not in a codependent relationship with you. He might want a sense of freedom where he might feel that he has to "answer to you" or that you don't trust him.

Did you both agree to a commitment with each other or was that assumed?

The love you have for him seems more like an addiction or obsession. If he feels you're obsessed with him it may seem like a negative thing, from his point of view. Back off and lighten up.

Thank you for showing me, each and every day, how deeply loved I am.

Unfortunately, I smell bullsh*t from his side. There are a lot of people with ill morals on the Internet, that like to toy with people, and when they get bored or find something more attractive to toy with, they move on. Nobody who is truly in love with someone, disappears like that, doesn't answers texts or calls, and uses their sister as an excuse not to contact you. As your supposed boyfriend, it would be safer to assume he'd want to contact you for support.

You're also interjecting with things like 'I doubt he forgot about me', 'and you fully believe', which is giving voice to the doubts you have about this. You're looking for someone to reassure you that he's going to come and be with you, or invite you to be with him, and nobody can really do that. I really think you're being messed around.

To revisit the comments I made about people messing other people around on the Internet, there are ALSO a lot of married men/women, men/women in relationships that are failing, and they're looking for something to make them feel good. The Internet is an amazing place to do that, you can make up a whole fake persona, have fun with it, wreck someone's life, and move on when you've had enough. It's absolutely sickening when it happens, I've had it happen to me, and I've learned a lot from it.

It's absolutely not unreasonable for you to ask him to give you some attention, and to reassure you GENUINELY, as to how you stand. If he can't be bothered, or doesn't want to do that, then he isn't deserving of you, and you need to break away, however painful that might be. I could be wrong about this, but things like this scream lies and deception. I truly hope you come away from this with your heart intact.

I don't think it's smothering when you are in a relationship with someone to text or call them. I am just concerned with you meeting online. He is also quite a bit older than you. I think it was a bit rude to not call and be out of touch for such a while. I don't think you should take that kind of thing. I think you should trust your gut and not your heart so much. It just seems like he is being deceptive and has so many excuses.

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